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Post by lunachaos on Jul 22, 2007 0:50:45 GMT -5
It helps to say it outloud for the dialogue. Then you know what tone you want your characters to have and you can find the perfect word. If it doesn't sound right, keep writing until it does. Also, ask someone for help or suggestions. Even good writers need teh help.
*shot for bad advice*
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Post by spiritmage234 on Jul 23, 2007 6:17:46 GMT -5
^All advice is welcome here! I sometimes have trouble with writing dialogue too. But as I read more books I find examples on how to write better. random advice! When I write a description of a character, usually my main character, I try to act like them, think like them. It's a more extreme way of putting yourself in the character's skin, like Neo said. I try to be a whole different person, whether being couragous, withdrawn, or forlorn. It helps, but, sometimes it's best to be a thespian when no one is around so then people won't think you're bi-polor. >_> Anywho..... I've been doing quite well with my work. I'm piecing together all of the segments of writing of my recent story so then I can present it soon. I dunno when though. Maybe a week or two. I also might change the title from Kalare of Night to Kalare of the Night. Hm. Which one do you like better?
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historyman12
Fugitive Iroh
IS IT JULY 14TH YET?
Posts: 4,822
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Post by historyman12 on Jul 27, 2007 13:55:38 GMT -5
I have no real opinion SM and that's some good advice that is.
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Post by spiritmage234 on Jul 27, 2007 16:51:02 GMT -5
Thank you history man. And I think I'm gonna go with the second choice.
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historyman12
Fugitive Iroh
IS IT JULY 14TH YET?
Posts: 4,822
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Post by historyman12 on Jul 27, 2007 17:03:23 GMT -5
Thank you history man. And I think I'm gonna go with the second choice. shweet! ;D
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Post by Aura of Cruxis on Jul 27, 2007 18:19:49 GMT -5
OMG I have TOTALLY random advice.
If you can't think of what's gonna happen next, put the first thing that comes to mind regardless of the situation and put it in the story. Then figure out the solution AS you're writing. some of my stuff would have been SOOOO boring if I hadn't done that.... ^_^;;;
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Post by spiritmage234 on Jul 27, 2007 18:22:25 GMT -5
OMG I have TOTALLY random advice. If you can't think of what's gonna happen next, put the first thing that comes to mind regardless of the situation and put it in the story. Then figure out the solution AS you're writing. some of my stuff would have been SOOOO boring if I hadn't done that.... ^_^;;; That's actually how I write some chapters ahead of the others.
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KuroOkami
Appa
I want to put an icon here, but I suppose that Proboards objects to that.
Posts: 229
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Post by KuroOkami on Sept 3, 2007 21:52:44 GMT -5
I really enjoy writing, I just wouldn't consider myself very good at it. Every time I start a story, I always think of a new idea shortly afterwards and abandon it. Being an artist makes it even more difficult because I'm always drawing potential characters that I don't always want to just be random fillers, I HAVE to make them the main character of something. So I'm always full of ideas, just nothing I can do with them. But nonetheless, I still think it's fun to post what I have; sometimes the response to it motivates me to keep the idea longer.
This is my most recent thing, an anthropomorphic story about a couple of different wolf breeds that I made up. I have the prologue "done", but I'm really looking for someone who can beta-read my stuff and help make it better. I don't really need help with the plot or anything, just the flow and pacing, the general mechanics, stuff like that.
WARNING: THIS STORY CONTAINS MODERATE AMOUNTS OF VIOLENCE
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The overcast gray sky was the only warning. With a loud crack, the clouds split, releasing a sudden, violent downpour of icy water into the warm air. Mist rose rapidly from the ground, shrouding the forests and hills in the dull, misty gray of slate. Their images obscured by the falling rain, sleek shapes, the color of blood, moved slowly and warily over the rocky riverbank. One of them glanced around until his eyes rested on a crevice, just above the water on the other side of the river, and he motioned for his three comrades to follow him.
They maneuvered hastily over the slippery rocks to the steep bank at the river's far edge. The crevice was wide enough to fit through, so without hesitation, the first of the blood-red creatures clawed his way up the muddy slope and squeezed between the rocks. The other three didn't follow immediately, but waited, listening intently. Within several seconds, the sound of a choked yelp escaped the crevice, and as if that was their signal, they scrambled up the bank to join their leader.
Their shapes no longer blurred by a sheet of rain, the red-furred creatures finally took form. They were small, slender wolves with blank, empty eyes as red as their fur. The wolves trotted up to flank their slightly larger leader, who had a maned, cat-like canine cornered in the back of the den. Behind him was what had been the source of the yelp, the corpse of another one of the strange canines, this one a female, her neck having been snapped with a single blow from the red wolf's powerful jaws. He approached the remaining creature aggressively, baring his fangs.
“You were a fool to think we wouldn't find you,” he snarled. “We had given you a fair warning: This is no longer Kaiyran land. It belongs to the Crimson, and if you sickening excuses for wolves valued your lives, you'd leave at once.”
The Kaiyran wolf scoffed as the Crimson concluded his threat, clearly not affected in any way other than frustration.
The Crimson's being unreasonable, as usual, he thought. The cat-like wolf stood up, and asserted boldly,
“We are just as much wolf as you, despite having been put on Earth with bodies that don't look it. You should be the ones swallowing your pride and admitting you're inferior to us. Why else would four of you come to face only two of us, and then sink so low as to kill an innocent whose only crime was having her back turned?” He motioned to the body behind his attackers. Another one of the red wolves stepped forward, taunting threateningly,
“Wise words, truly inspiring. But sadly for you and the rest of your 'proud followers of the great Kaiyre', those words will never be spoken again.”
The Kaiyran, still not threatened by the Crimson's cold, chiding words, held his ground, and he spoke again, his voice shaking with anger.
“It's thanks to your cold-hearted savagery that my mate was needlessly murdered, and you go against Kaiyre's will each time you decide to take a life that is not yours to take." he growled flatly. "So we have no reason to peacefully submit like you expect us to, now that you've forced us from our territories and inflicted massacres on us, with no rationale except that we occupy land that you want.”
The Crimson wolves said nothing. They gave no warning. The only thing the Kaiyran saw was the spray of his own blood as one of the red wolves struck with alarming speed. The cat-like wolf was knocked backwards, now bleeding heavily from a gaping wound in his body, but it was not fatal. Not even fazed by the injury, he immediately defended himself; he lashed back at his attackers with the sharp spurs on the ankles of his front paws, leaving a long, clean slash on the largest wolf's shoulder.
The Kaiyran wolf stepped back from the wall of the den to reveal a sword embedded to the hilt within the earth. He quietly drew the weapon and rushed at a Crimson who was preparing to attack. He leaped past him, pivoting his head and bringing the full force of his swing into the wolf's neck. The Crimson slumped to the ground, his head completely severed, and the Kaiyran landed behind the corpse, the blade of his sword glistening red.
“I should hope that our breed is of consequence to you now,” he hissed just loud enough to be heard clearly. “We have intelligence, the ability to use weapons and actually plan attacks. All you have is strength and speed in bodies too small to support it. Your attacks are reckless, and if that first blow was meant to kill me, then you're way off the mark.”
He dropped the sword to the ground, and leaped at another Crimson, in an attempt to fight off his three remaining attackers. The wolves tore at each other, spattering the cool soil with blood as the storm outside raged on; it flooded the banks and turned the calm river into rapids. At the center of the battle, the largest and strongest of the Crimson wolves pinned down the male Kaiyran, bringing his entire weight down on the wolf's forelegs. Bone cracked, and crying out in pain, the cat-like animal tried in vain to tear at the Crimson's exposed underside with his ankle spurs. But both of his front legs were completely paralyzed, and he was helpless, unable to escape the jaws that had latched around his throat.
The red wolf's fangs dug in firmly, and he continued to tighten his grip, the Kaiyran's neck making sickening crunches and gurgles in the Crimson's jaws. His limp body was tossed to the ground, and suddenly, the only sound that could be heard was the rush of the river and the thunderous rainfall. The Crimson wolf licked the blood from his lips, and with a sigh, said calmly,
“Well, there goes another two of 'em. It's just too bad we lost one of our own as well.” He looked around, and then adopted a stern tone. “Nekoda, take that sword with you. It'll make an excellent trophy; that and the fact that these were the top warriors in the area will more than make up for the fact that one of us got killed. And Yachin, start dumping these bodies into the river.”
“But what about Sewati, sir?” asked Yachin. “He was one of our own... Shouldn't we take him home and give him a proper burial?”
“No, he was a useless foot soldier. If you can't take care of as simple a job as this without getting your head cut off, good riddance. His corpse will go in the river along with the Kaiyrans, Yachin, that's an order from a superior. Now do it!”
Yachin nodded, and he trotted over to the female's corpse first. Before he began pushing the body towards the den's exit, he looked it over with interest. He turned his head back to his superior,
“Hey, Tibalt! Wasn't this female carrying pups when we came here a few months ago?”
“I think so, why?”
“Well,” Yachin inquired, “What if the pups were born and are out there somewhere? Shouldn't we be looking for them?” Tibalt shook his head.
“Think about it. The pups would only be three months old, at most. That's not nearly old enough to survive alone without parents. Now stop asking stupid questions and do your job.”
“Yes, Tibalt sir. You're probably right,” he said, obviously unable to argue. But he couldn't help but glance toward the river, his worries leaving a bad taste in his mouth...
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EDIT 1: Cleared up some of the dialogue in paragraphs 6-9, as well as made some other minor tweaks here and there, mostly with the vocal verbs. Thanks SM!
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Post by spiritmage234 on Sept 3, 2007 22:10:03 GMT -5
^Wow. That was bloody. But really good. I only got confused in paragraphs 6-9. Which wolf was talking in those? And I'm really glad that you brought back the Writers' Block. I've missed this past month. ;_;
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KuroOkami
Appa
I want to put an icon here, but I suppose that Proboards objects to that.
Posts: 229
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Post by KuroOkami on Sept 4, 2007 16:16:00 GMT -5
Thanks a lot! I (hopefully)fixed the dialogue confusion. If not, let me know and I'll see what else I can do. I do have one question for anyone who can help me here: One of my main characters is the son of those two Kaiyrans that were killed. Should that be revealed in the next chapter, or a bit later on?
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Post by spiritmage234 on Sept 15, 2007 18:10:48 GMT -5
I like suspense. wait till later. Well, I've written an alt. ending to my story Kalare of Night. I've also made a lot of changes with the main storyline, like: *No more Jake/Dante. *The military assassination group formally known as "The Black Cats" is now know as "Special Operation Unit No. 8" but it's code name is "The Black Chimeras" *I'm thinking of changing Kalare's name. Eh, I don't like it as much anymore. Plus, I'm adding a twist to my characters. I'm planning on having the main character have: -Indian phenotypes (i.e. Indian appearance); Indian name? -Chinese weapon -Vietnamese uniform New and interesting, huh? So I've been brainstorming on how I'm gonna rewrite that now... Other than that, I've been writing Rurouni Kenshin fanfics and other artsy biz. lol.
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Post by Empy on Sept 16, 2007 14:49:18 GMT -5
Ermm... well, I'm not really working on a story right now but I was hoping some of you could help me on a paper I'm writing ^^;
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Post by spiritmage234 on Sept 16, 2007 15:09:34 GMT -5
What beith the paper on? ^_^
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historyman12
Fugitive Iroh
IS IT JULY 14TH YET?
Posts: 4,822
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Post by historyman12 on Sept 16, 2007 16:44:31 GMT -5
^Indeed. what need you?
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Post by Empy on Sept 16, 2007 21:22:00 GMT -5
It's a paper regarding Christopher McCandless, chronicled by Jon Krakauer in Into the Wild. ^^;
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