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Post by ~»Lava Lamp «~ on Dec 2, 2009 16:30:14 GMT -5
my boyfriend and i have been dating for 6 months. i have been nothing kind and polite to his mother. yet she, and i quote, unquote, "despises me" and says i "corrupt" him. but i recall I've make him a lot happier then before. he gets grounded for stupid reasons such as calling me. it's starting to get ridiculous if you ask anyone. oh and did i mention that everywhere he goes it's a evil conniving plot to come see me. this lady also have the nerve to tell her son that he's a bad influence, disrespectful, does drugs and all he want is sex. that is the total opposite of this boy. he is very polite, would never touch any kind of drug, never misses a day of school and probably one of the most chivalrous guys i know. yet she has the nerve to tell him that he has attitude and call me all those things also. she really doesn't know me. who does she think she is to judge me like that.maybe if she actually started acting nice and befriended me her opinion would change . .. she's a physco surd... she liked me until i started dating her little boy. she told him that she wouldn't get Military Ball pictures if i was in them. what do i do? help!
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Post by Gran Gran on Dec 2, 2009 22:14:58 GMT -5
Stick it out untill you guys can move out. Mothers do the darndest things, honest. She don't want you to steal her boy from her. Not much you can do about it. Stick it out or give up. Old women are sooooo annoying! There is not a heck of a lot you can do, be nice to her...but that young man will have to see a counselor before long, that can't be a healthy gig....
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Post by goten0040 on Dec 3, 2009 10:22:59 GMT -5
What has he done? He's the common factor in this. If he really cares about you, he needs to stand up to his mother. I mean, not Falcon-Pawnch her or anything, but lay down the law - this is who he is dating, and he would prefer it if she supported him.
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Post by ~»Lava Lamp «~ on Dec 4, 2009 15:51:55 GMT -5
What has he done? He's the common factor in this. If he really cares about you, he needs to stand up to his mother. I mean, not Falcon-Pawnch her or anything, but lay down the law - this is who he is dating, and he would prefer it if she supported him. he hasn't done anything wrong if that's what you mean. He can't do anything about his mother because he'd just get yelled at or grounded, or who knows with this psycho woman. his mother is afraid to leave the house i swear. she won't go anywhere with out taking the whole family. she has super paranoia of nothing. i think she need to cut the ambilical cord now.
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Post by goten0040 on Dec 4, 2009 16:06:29 GMT -5
Well, I think you two need to talk about this. If his mother is going to be this bad of an issue and he's not willing to stand up to her, it may not be worth it until he can break away from her. Yeah, he may get yelled at or grounded, but he's still gotta set boundaries. He's growing up and she needs to let go.
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Post by Gran Gran on Dec 4, 2009 20:49:54 GMT -5
What has he done? He's the common factor in this. If he really cares about you, he needs to stand up to his mother. I mean, not Falcon-Pawnch her or anything, but lay down the law - this is who he is dating, and he would prefer it if she supported him. he hasn't done anything wrong if that's what you mean. He can't do anything about his mother because he'd just get yelled at or grounded, or who knows with this psycho woman. his mother is afraid to leave the house i swear. she won't go anywhere with out taking the whole family. she has super paranoia of nothing. i think she need to cut the ambilical cord now. Holy sh*t...Batman. I hope you love this guy, because that does not sound good. There are alarm bells going off on oh so many levels. There is really not a whole lot a couple of kids can do (how old are you 2 btw?) Maybe, juuuuuuust maybe (total longshot, really) if your parents invited his family over for diner, to see you are not a bunch of 2headed heathens, but don't hold your breath on it, this lady sounds like she has some serious issues that warrant professional help (as in Doc and meds and whatnot) Oh, and something else, not to sound jaded or anything... But as the old proverb goes, when you buy a calf, look at the cow! And boy does that ever hold true for people a well. I am 41, married for 17 years, and I can tell you, it is true my Husband is turning into his dad and I am turning into my Mom! The again, some apples roll FAR from the tree... good luck and keep us posted! and not just because nothing else happens here...
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Post by ~»Lava Lamp «~ on Dec 7, 2009 16:13:07 GMT -5
i have some news. that Military ball was on Saturday: Set-up: thankfuly his mother didn't come but matt's dad told him that he couldn't be near me unless he was around to see. arrival: she wouldn't even speak to me. Reciving line/ sittiong at table: the reciving line is where you meet all the guests and shake there hand and say hello, his dad said hi and shook my hand but his mother wouldn't even make eye contact with me let alone shake my hand. then she wanted us to sit close to the chaprone table so she could "take pictures of matt while he was sitting" si i told matt to well his mother i being a stubborn b*tch and won't move.( i got the table furthest away) yet his father had a clear view of me from where i was sitting. and for some reason i had the feeling i was being watched. Punch Bowl: Punch bowl is where the juniors make fun of the seniors. well she was laughing at matt's untill i was mentioned. and then i gave him a kiss in front of everyone, mother wasn't to happy with that one. and later i asked my friend what her favorie part was and she said the look on her face when i gave matt a kiss. mission accomplished. Sabor Arch: it's where cadets with the rank of sargent first class and up go through a arch of sabors. well me and matt went through and his mom pretended that something went wrong with the camara. dancing: she like stalked up when we were slow dancing, but i made sure we were hidden after that. the end. is she not crazy? i'm 16 and he's 17 by the way.. it seems his dad is cool with me, he just sides with his mom... here's a picture of me and matt by the way : )
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Post by Gran Gran on Dec 10, 2009 13:01:05 GMT -5
Darling, you are in for a long battle. Of course Dad is going to stand by his wife, at least in public. Remember, hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. And he has to live with her. Some women have a harder time letting go of their baby, some never manage. Glad that the dance went reasonably well. Too bad his mother doesn't have the social graces of a toad...
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Post by ~»Lava Lamp «~ on Dec 10, 2009 16:34:28 GMT -5
i can understand not being able to let go but why do all this stuff, why go so out of her way to hate me like this, to make up every excuse for him not to see me, and to make up all those lies. she's making him misirable. if she want's her son to be happy then let him spend time with me, let him out of the house. honestly i'm acting more mature and more like the adult in this suituation. she's acting like a spoiled five year old child who do didn't get what they wanted. she really irks me...
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Post by Gran Gran on Dec 11, 2009 0:54:26 GMT -5
LOL, it's more complicated than 'wanting him to be happy' I mean, yes, it's seriously warped but i's a little over the capabilities of kids and lay people. I'd think she has a serious problem, but she would ahve to want to fix it, which she doesn't. You are her mortal rival for the attention of her son. That's the deal and that's what you are up against. So you be your absolutely sweetest self you can be around her. Especially in public! ;D It was a joke between my sister and me, how we had rotten luck with our in-laws and our guys had hit the lottery... I mean, my mother-in-law hated the girl her youngest son had hooked up with. And one Christmas day she wrote them a sappy card how they were so much more like her parents than her one ones....ever since then MIL loves, no, LOVES her.... Study your enemy, find out what makes her tick.
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Post by goten0040 on Dec 11, 2009 10:32:26 GMT -5
Ah, killing with kindness could work rather well.
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Post by Gran Gran on Dec 11, 2009 18:01:08 GMT -5
yeah, we also like to call it 'kissing up' ^_^
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Post by ~»Lava Lamp «~ on Dec 11, 2009 19:10:32 GMT -5
Gran Gran... that idea is as crazy as her, but i cant even get to know her, let alone talk to her to tell her something like that...hummm.. something like that might help though.. I GOT IT!!!!!
What if i get to know his dad more then gradually work my way to his mom's acceptance.. yes.
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Post by goten0040 on Dec 11, 2009 19:49:01 GMT -5
Not a bad idea.
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Post by ~»Lava Lamp «~ on Dec 11, 2009 19:58:53 GMT -5
i need a back up plan though...
so i told my JROTC teacher (i calll him 1st Seargent or 1SG) about the reciving line thing and he's like "wow are you serious ,you'd think she'd have more respect."
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