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Post by airbender01 on May 11, 2007 18:41:13 GMT -5
Let's see, I've figured a name for this eagle spirit that saves my female OC. His name is Minsheng(voice of the people). I worked on him, but I'm getting stuck in corners. Here's what I have so far.... Name:Minsheng(Chinese) History:Somewhat native to the Air Nomads,but not like the Sky Bison. Studied airbending for many years. Lives in the Altai mountain range in the Spirit World, can travel to any of the four air temples to study the benders. Each temple has a sacred mountain with an entrance to the Spirit World. No eagles were seen since Avatar Yangchen died(he's one of many eagle spirits). Please don't go too hard,this is my first time doing an OC. Any ideas?
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Kana
Yu Yan Archers
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Post by Kana on May 11, 2007 22:46:36 GMT -5
A piece of advice,
ok, the whole turning into an eagle is cool and all, but very Mary Sue. I know you are wanting to keep that trait, so I came up with this.
Instead of her being a mortal, maybe make her an eagle spirit, but comes to earth in the form of a young air nun.
I don't know much about your OC, but if you can patch up the pieces here and there. Maybe she was mortal, but died even though an eagle spirit tried to save her, so now she is "cursed" to come to earth every solstice in the form of a girl who can turn into an eagle.
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Post by airbender01 on May 20, 2007 16:42:05 GMT -5
Thanks, but no thanks.
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Kana
Yu Yan Archers
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Post by Kana on May 20, 2007 16:45:57 GMT -5
Just trying to help make your sue not a sue
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Sasukesgirl93
Jeong Jeong
butterflyers do it best <3
Posts: 3,947
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Post by Sasukesgirl93 on May 20, 2007 16:53:33 GMT -5
Kana had a good idea....
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Post by airbender01 on May 20, 2007 17:11:15 GMT -5
I know and I appreciate it, but I like her as a mortal airbender. Besides I did the Mary Sue quiz and she got 17 points. She's a developed character. (Bard Child, I remember what you said about the quiz.) I'm sorry if I disappointed you, Kana.
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Kana
Yu Yan Archers
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Post by Kana on May 20, 2007 18:14:45 GMT -5
It's ok. I don't mind. But, try to use the crit people give you, it will make your story better and more interesting to read. People, inculidng myself, don't really enjoy reading about a character who is all powerfull. It makes the story dull and not very developed.
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Post by airbender01 on May 20, 2007 18:18:47 GMT -5
She's not as powerful as Azula or anything. She's as powerful as a normal airbender but, with a transformation ability.
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Kana
Yu Yan Archers
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Post by Kana on May 20, 2007 18:36:28 GMT -5
I remeber you said that she was a master at the age of thiteen. That is powerful, and a Sue. Also, transforming ALSO makes her a Sue, and powerful. There should be restrictions. I mean, maybe she is poor at airbending , or can only transform under certain conditions or times.
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Post by airbender01 on May 20, 2007 18:48:51 GMT -5
She transforms by jumping high in air, knocks her fists together, spiritual streams surrounds her and she becomes a bald eagle. To change back, she flaps her wings together as she lands and she returns to human form. The only time(so far) she can't use her ability is when she's underwater. If she's knocked unconscious while in eagle form, she goes back to normal. Plus Minsheng shared his life with her when he mastered airbending. That means she could master it possibily at 13.
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Kana
Yu Yan Archers
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Post by Kana on May 20, 2007 19:54:23 GMT -5
I thought spirits couldn't bend. . . . . Still, she should either have the transforming ability, or airbending. The transforming is Sue-ish. (I am seriously not trying to be mean or anythin, sorry if it seems I am )
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Post by airbender01 on May 20, 2007 20:00:09 GMT -5
We all have different ideas on what's cool or not.
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Ardor
Fire Nation Soldier
Captain of the Blue Spirits
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Post by Ardor on May 20, 2007 21:00:24 GMT -5
That is very true, Airbender, but we all can be appreciative and consider each others differing ideas. You don't have to like what other people have to say, but a big 'ol fat "Thank You, that's a pretty cool idea . . . but I was thinking this would be even cooler" would always be nice. Because you did in fact ask for help and advise
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Post by airbender01 on May 25, 2007 14:07:46 GMT -5
Kana, I thought of a way to compromse our ideas. On every equinox and solstice,Washi's and Minsheng's bending becomes possible because their worlds are somewhat connected.Washi starts training at 10 yrs old and masters it 3 years later, but Aang can teach her how to use the staff since Minsheng couldn't. A few days before an equinox or solstice, their bending gets more and more powerful enough to use it. Please respond, someone.
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