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Post by teknomage on Dec 17, 2005 12:49:14 GMT -5
Well, back in like the end of 1997 I started writing a book which I intend to be the first in a series, but I still haven't finished, I rarely work on it, because I'm such a procrastinator and rarely feel motivated. But the upside to that is I keep coming up with new ideas for the book that I wouldn't be able to put in it if I'd already finished it. Anyway, I think the last new chapter I wrote was around 20, but that was quite awhile ago, and since then I've been working on editing old chapters and putting them on a website the url of which I don't share with alot of folks, but maybe it'd be safe to put it here in case anyone's interested. lonewander.tripod.com/unfortunately I rarely feel motivated to even work on that, and the chapters I have here I'm sure I'll edit more before I'm ready to submit the book anywhere, if I ever finish at all...
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jadawulf
Teo
stark raving sane
Posts: 438
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Post by jadawulf on Dec 18, 2005 0:55:21 GMT -5
I read the first chapter. It was interesting. I liked the opening line; it seemed to fit well, but maybe you could describe the setting a little bit in the next paragraph or something. Also, the only physical description I remember is that Tom is stout. My one problem with that is that I want to know what Tiejo looks like that they would call him a streetrat.
The writing style kind of reminds me of Hemingway in that it's mostly conversation. It gets a little confusing as to who's speaking once Tiejo enters, but other than that it seems to fit the setting somehow-two people just chatting in a bar. There are some things I don't understand, but that's probably explained in later chapters ^^;
Besides the first chapter, I read the part about adult licenses. That is well thought out, good job. The different stamps things is cool; it's an interesting way to view what makes someone an adult.
I might read some more if I have the time. Anyway, good luck with your book ^_^
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Post by teknomage on Dec 19, 2005 20:07:09 GMT -5
I'm really not good at writing descriptive stuff cuz most of the time I just don't see it in my mind, what things look like, and especially what people look like. And usually it doesn't even matter to me. I often read things others have written that has alot of description and it just tends to bore me to death. But I know I need to try to describe things better... In some chapters there may be better descriptions of things, if I'm trying extra hard or if I happen to see it in my head sort of, or if I think it actually is in any way important to the story. which I usually don't. As for Tiejo, well, on the world where this is set, there are actually different groups of homeless people, or not so much groups, but... anyone who's homeless is usually called some kind of "rat," but where exactly they live determines the full word, like "streetrat" or "woodrat" or "dockrat," etc. It's not uncommon I think to hear people called "street rat," like Aladdin was called that in the movie... I just sort of shove the words together... of course, Tiejo's also crazy... and childlike, but not stupid or anything. People do tend to underestimate him though... personally I always think of him as a mix of lots of characters, both good and bad, like Zathrus from Babylon 5, Gollum from LOTR, Chamberlain from The Dark Crystal, maybe a bit of Yoda... and also toastlad, who's one of my own personalities... maybe other characters I can't think of right now, I'm not sure...
Actually I think sometimes i put the words street rat together and sometimes I don't. I need to pay closer attention to that when editing in the future...
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