Post by ~»Lava Lamp «~ on Aug 16, 2009 23:35:21 GMT -5
remeber when i posted this:
ok here's my problem.
it all started towards the end of December.it all started with massive migraines. i didn't feel good.it i was never hungry, all i wanted to do was sleep, i felt like vomiting, but never did, i was very shaky, i cried most o the time and i was always cold.
luckily that's going away, for the most part.
at the same time I'm under a lot of stress like my mom always yells at me because i "don't do my homework" and "I'm failing" also, if any any of you know what JROTC is, I'm in that, and i just recently lost my position as asstant squad leader to a freakin freshman, and not just any freshmen, my BEST FRIEND Chelsea,now i'm a squad member, that just made everything worse, and with my ADHD it's hard to concentrate, and on top of that my boyfriend(joey), who i trusted and told him everything, dumped me out of the blue, and on top of that 3 weeks later
he asked one of my friends out, who needs to get a shirt that actually covers her boobs.
so about a month ago i wrote this:
"I wish i didn't have any problems. i wish i didn't have to fake a smile every day of my stupid effing life. i wish i knew how i brighten everybody Else's day before my own.
let's face it. I'm a eff up. i can't do anything right. everything i say is wrong. every time i suggest something it's stupid. I'm always getting yelled at. i forget everything. i can't stay on track. i hate adhd. it's just a nice way to say that I'll never meet the requirement. i can never get anything just right. I'm just a waste of breath, a bother. nobody can really understand me. life hates me. i never had any friends. i was always the bud of the joke. every little thing i do is a joke to people. I'm babied around by almost everyone. people don't seem to care what i think because they usually cut me off any way. I'm never good enough. never have been, never will. I'm always a mess, a nervous wreck. nobody encourages me, they always yell. I'm ugly. I'm to fat. I'm to short. I'm to manly. maybe that's why i can't keep a boyfriend for at least a month. because it's weird. it's always that excuse. and no one guy has told me why. is it just a random urge or what? i can't take this any more! thirteen years of trying to be a good person and almost all of the "friends" i made don't like me. I'm the most caring, nicest and generous person you'll ever meet. so tell me, why didn't they like me?
I've had it. I'm no longer nice, I'm no longer caring, or generous. I'm DONE. "
about a week before that i went to the doctors, to see what was and he asked if i cried and i chuckled and replied,"who doesn't?"
i know what he meant by crying and i said no
but then he said that they were signs of depression. i denied it all.
after we(me and dad) left the office my dad went to go get some of my meds filled. as i was sitting there it hit me like a ton o bricks, i was depressed, but i wasn't going to tell anybody. and i didn't, all but one person, my boyfriend at the time, joey. for some reason now i don't want to tell anybody anything. i am definitely not suicidal, and i hate it when people cut so don't worry about that.
can you please help me,give me advise? something? tell me what i should do!! suggestions? i don't care.just help!!!
I'm tired of living in grief and sorrow.
i want be the old me who is always happy.
Well i'm completely cured of this depression.
i though about all the advice you guys gave me and it worked.
i'm A LOT happier now
no more migranes, sicknesss, or tiredness.
i'm a verry high rank in JROTC now. i'm S-5 (2nd lutenent)(if you get what i mean)
and i'm over that boyy.
i have a new boyfriend.we've been dateing for about four months now.
so i'd like to say thanks to all that helped.
it all started towards the end of December.it all started with massive migraines. i didn't feel good.it i was never hungry, all i wanted to do was sleep, i felt like vomiting, but never did, i was very shaky, i cried most o the time and i was always cold.
luckily that's going away, for the most part.
at the same time I'm under a lot of stress like my mom always yells at me because i "don't do my homework" and "I'm failing" also, if any any of you know what JROTC is, I'm in that, and i just recently lost my position as asstant squad leader to a freakin freshman, and not just any freshmen, my BEST FRIEND Chelsea,now i'm a squad member, that just made everything worse, and with my ADHD it's hard to concentrate, and on top of that my boyfriend(joey), who i trusted and told him everything, dumped me out of the blue, and on top of that 3 weeks later
he asked one of my friends out, who needs to get a shirt that actually covers her boobs.
so about a month ago i wrote this:
"I wish i didn't have any problems. i wish i didn't have to fake a smile every day of my stupid effing life. i wish i knew how i brighten everybody Else's day before my own.
let's face it. I'm a eff up. i can't do anything right. everything i say is wrong. every time i suggest something it's stupid. I'm always getting yelled at. i forget everything. i can't stay on track. i hate adhd. it's just a nice way to say that I'll never meet the requirement. i can never get anything just right. I'm just a waste of breath, a bother. nobody can really understand me. life hates me. i never had any friends. i was always the bud of the joke. every little thing i do is a joke to people. I'm babied around by almost everyone. people don't seem to care what i think because they usually cut me off any way. I'm never good enough. never have been, never will. I'm always a mess, a nervous wreck. nobody encourages me, they always yell. I'm ugly. I'm to fat. I'm to short. I'm to manly. maybe that's why i can't keep a boyfriend for at least a month. because it's weird. it's always that excuse. and no one guy has told me why. is it just a random urge or what? i can't take this any more! thirteen years of trying to be a good person and almost all of the "friends" i made don't like me. I'm the most caring, nicest and generous person you'll ever meet. so tell me, why didn't they like me?
I've had it. I'm no longer nice, I'm no longer caring, or generous. I'm DONE. "
about a week before that i went to the doctors, to see what was and he asked if i cried and i chuckled and replied,"who doesn't?"
i know what he meant by crying and i said no
but then he said that they were signs of depression. i denied it all.
after we(me and dad) left the office my dad went to go get some of my meds filled. as i was sitting there it hit me like a ton o bricks, i was depressed, but i wasn't going to tell anybody. and i didn't, all but one person, my boyfriend at the time, joey. for some reason now i don't want to tell anybody anything. i am definitely not suicidal, and i hate it when people cut so don't worry about that.
can you please help me,give me advise? something? tell me what i should do!! suggestions? i don't care.just help!!!
I'm tired of living in grief and sorrow.
i want be the old me who is always happy.
Well i'm completely cured of this depression.
i though about all the advice you guys gave me and it worked.
i'm A LOT happier now
no more migranes, sicknesss, or tiredness.
i'm a verry high rank in JROTC now. i'm S-5 (2nd lutenent)(if you get what i mean)
and i'm over that boyy.
i have a new boyfriend.we've been dateing for about four months now.
so i'd like to say thanks to all that helped.
