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Post by firefists101 on Dec 27, 2007 9:07:10 GMT -5
Hello. This is my first attempt at a fanfic for a while, so constructive criticism is very welcome, but don't be too harsh at first. Anyhoo....let's get started shall we? I hope you like it.... Mai smiled sweetly as the blood ran down her arm and her wrist. She felt a sort of peaceful feeling come over her. All of the bad seemed to just go away. This was her escape; her only escape. It started as just an accident. She was practicing her knife throwing, and one of her knives slipped and cut her forearm. Then, it became a habit; one she couldn't stop. Every night the cuts got deeper and the release became stronger. Mai envied blood. It was so beautiful. It's color was gorgeous, and the grace it had when it slid down her arm was extravagant. She wanted to be beautiful too; just like her blood. It also gave her an excited feeling. She was boring. She wanted to be exciting too. Her envy had eventually turned to jealousy. She looked out her window and into the jet black sky. There wasn't a star or the moon in sight. It was perfect. A tear rolled down Mai's face. She thought of Zuko. Maybe if she would have been more like her blood, he'd still be there with her. Mai held the rose he left her. It was blood red; beautiful. She was jealous of that too. Why couldn't she be beautiful? Why couldn't she be happy? What was wrong with her? Mai added a few more cuts to her arm and then got up. She walked out of her room and into the hall. No one was in sight. She flew quickly through the hallways of the Fire lord's castle, and out into the garden. She sat by the pond and thought of Zuko. Finally, things started to go black, and slowly she passed out under the cherry blossom tree. OK. End Chapter I. What do you think so far? Please comment!!!
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Post by The Crystal [Hope] Catacombs on Dec 27, 2007 20:13:12 GMT -5
Wow. Scary. It made my stomach twist. I'd love to read more... but it might not be good for me. Cutting has always been one of those weird fears... too many friends lost to the habit. But nonetheless, I enjoy the story.
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Post by firefists101 on Mar 23, 2008 14:45:00 GMT -5
Thank you very much! I'm sorry I haven't written in a long time!
Mai woke up and looked around. She didn't know where she was. It looked like a peasant home, but she knew no peasants. Suddenly she heard a voice. She searched for it, but couldn't find where it came from. "Hello?" She called; obviously scared. An old lady came out from behind a curtain and grinned. "She's up, Niem!" The old woman yelled.
A young man came out from behind the curtain. He looked to be about Mai's age, and he was very attractive. "Hello, I'm Niem," he explained "And this is my grandma, Fei." Mai looked at him; puzzled. "I'm Mai...." she finally answered after a while. "Are you ok?" Niem asked. "I found you under the tree in the garden. You were bleeding." "Yeah...I'm fine." Mai replied. "How did you find me?" The young man stared at her for a moment. "I work there." He finally answered. "What happened to you?" "None of your business." Mai snapped back, feeling a little bit more like herself.
Mai got up and stretched. She looked more at her surroundings. It was a peasant house. She was still in the village. She nodded to the two peasants in front of her and started toward the door. Suddenly Niem yelled "Wait! Don't leave yet! Eat with us, please!" Mai turned around and looked at the young man standing in front of her. His golden eyes sparkled in the light, with a pleading passion. "Fine...." Mai sighed.
That's it for now! Please comment! Sorry again for the wait!
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Post by taiyo *on limited hiatus* on Mar 23, 2008 17:52:03 GMT -5
Woah. Deep. I hope she'll be okay.
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Post by firefists101 on Mar 23, 2008 19:04:50 GMT -5
Mai sat quietly as Fei spooned some awful smelling soup into the bowl in front of her. She sighed and looked at the steamy liquid. “Go ahead and eat up dear!” The old woman said cheerfully as she sat down. Mai looked from the soup, to the old woman, to the soup, to Niem. He winked at her and gave an encouraging look. She sighed again and slowly picked up the bowl and took a sip. It certainly wasn’t palace food, but it was surprisingly delicious. “This is very good.” Mai uttered finally. “Why thank you, dearie!” Fei busted out. “It’s an old recipe.” Quietly the three people finished their meal.
Finally, after some small conversation, Niem looked at Mai. “Wanna take a walk?” he asked sweetly. “Sure.” Mai replied.
Then they got up and strolled towards the door. Before Mai could get there, Niem flew past her and opened the door for her. She grined slightly at him, and he smiled widely at her satisfaction. As they left, they heard Fei yell "You come back now, sweetie!" Mai and Niem both giggled at the funny old lady's kindness.
In the market there were many people. Mai wasn't used to being so crowded, but she kept her complaints to herself. She felt different. This new person in her life seemed to brighten her, even though they had just met. She was just walking; thinking of the usual things, when suddenly she heard someone shout her name and a pair of arms wrap around her.
That's it for now! Please comment!
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Post by taiyo *on limited hiatus* on Mar 23, 2008 21:54:01 GMT -5
Ahh, short but sweet. It's good to know Mai's feeling better. ^_^
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Post by firefists101 on Mar 23, 2008 23:54:44 GMT -5
Thanks again!
Mai fell to the ground with a big thump. A split second later a ostritchhorse and cart flew by. "Are you ok?!" Niem exclaimed from underneath her. Mai flipped over and stared at her rescuer. "Yeah...I'm fine." She breathed.
After a close face to face akward silence, the two of them got up and dusted themselves off. Suddenly Niem started to laugh. "What?" Mai asked; bewildered. "I'm two for two." He exclaimed. "Twice I've saved you now!" Mai smiled. She couldn't help but laugh at his sunshine attitude. "I guess so." She giggled. "You know what...I think you should do something for me now." He suggested suddenly. "Like what?" Mai asked. The young man thought for a minute. Finally he snapped his fingers. "I got it!" He shouted. "You owe me a date!" Mai stared at him for a minute. A shock seemed to run through her, and her stomach was doing flips. "A....date?" She stammered. "Yep. You owe me a date." Niem smiled. "I save you, you eat with me." Mai smiled. She suddenly liked the idea. "Fine. You get a date then." She replied.
After that Niem got the biggest smile Mai had ever seen. She half expected him to grow wings and flip around in the air. This filled her heart with joy. She couldn't help smiling just as wide. For once her heart wasn't prisoner to Zuko, and her mind was filled with only happy thoughts. This was her chance to have a good time.
After a bit more of walking around and talking with her new friend, Niem and Mai finally arrived at the palace. Just as Mai entered the grounds, she was tackled by Ty Lee. "OHMIGOSH MAI! WHERE WERE YOU?!" She screamed. "I had a little...adventure." Mai replied; still stuck in her happy daze. Ty Lee stared at her in confusion. Quickly her attention was brought to the very attractive young man beside her. "And who is this?" she asked. "I'm Niem. Nice to meet you." Niem replied cheerfully. Ty Lee started to answer, but she was interrupted by an icy hand on her shoulder. Azula smirked as Ty Lee jumped to see who it was. Then she looked at Niem. "A worker...I'm guessing." Azula added snottily. "Go to your work now." Niem nodded to Azula and the rest of the girls. Before he left he stopped beside Mai and uttered "See you at sundown." Mai smiled and watched as the young servant walked away into the palace. She couldn't wait for the night to come.
Ok....that's all for now. More later.
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Post by ShizukaSakoi on Mar 25, 2008 7:45:22 GMT -5
oh, it svery good so far, I cant wait ot see what happens next.
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Post by firefists101 on Mar 25, 2008 13:22:41 GMT -5
Thanks!! =]
Mai fidgeted quite nervously as she waited for Niem to come. Maybe he won’t come. He was probably just joking. Why am I doing this? Mai thought to herself. She smoothed out her beautiful black dress and ran her fingers through her hair. Her stomach felt like it was flipping and jumping around as if it had just been bounced off a wall. Mai felt like she was going to throw up.
Finally, Niem showed up. He looked the same as he always did. Mai’s face turned beat red. Crap…I over dressed…She thought to herself as he approached her. “Wow! You look great!” Niem exclaimed, his eyes shining like emeralds in the moonlight. “Thanks.” Mai replied. The couple walked silently for a while, then finally Niem spoke. “Thanks for coming.” He said quietly. Mai looked at him. “Thanks for saving me.” She replied. Niem smiled. “You’re too beautiful to let fade.” He said confidently. Mai smiled. She really couldn’t think of anything to say, but her smile said it all.
After a bit more walking, they approached a little shack-like place. Mai looked at Niem with a puzzled look. This is the place he had brought her? When they entered the little shack, Mai was shocked to see no one there but them. There were two plates set up on a table, and already had food on them. She shot him a surprised look, and he just smiled at her. “Sit down.” He said.
The two of them ate, laughed, and talked the whole time. Finally when they were finished with their meal, Niem stood up and took Mai’s hand. She stood up as well. Suddenly, music started to play. Mai’s heart skipped a beat as Niem took her other hand and started to dance with her. After a little bit of stumbling and some minor errors, Mai got the hang of it. They danced and talked for hours to the romantic music coming from outside.
Finally the music stopped, and Niem walked Mai back to the palace. They stood and talked a little longer before saying goodnight. Right before he left, Niem gave Mai a kiss. There were no words spoken, but they both knew the ones that were meant.
Mai seemed to float up to her room. Finally, Mai went to sleep; dreaming good dreams and finally feeling like everything was right.
That's it for now. More later.
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