Melis
Long Feng
hay baby wanna get away on my bison?
Posts: 3,293
|
Post by Melis on Feb 6, 2007 20:46:29 GMT -5
I wrote this awhile ago, and thought maybe you guys would like it:
A soft whisper in the night announces her arrival. The bells ring slowly and softly, unheard by human ears alone. She touches the tapestry and remarks on how beautiful the color red looks; she still has time to adjust to the rich and royal colors of red and gold. He takes her hand, and speaks the word she dreads to hear, "Come"
She beckons to the call of the fire prince, and wonders what it's like to be in his chambers during the day. The night basks too much mystery, something Ursa does not like. She’d rather have everything laid out in front of her, than imagine what she has to see. "Come" and she hears the impatience in his voice. It isn't hoarse, but his words can cut the air in two.
The tension is what drives her; she extends her hand, and feels how rough his hands are. He, in turn, is surprised to feel how rough her hands are.
"I'm curious..." he demands of her in an inquiring manner.
"It's nothing" she lies to him. She does what she knows what to do best when a woman tells a lie, she holds his hand tightly (assuring, and a bit loving) moving closer to her husband to be. Leaning in, she presses firm lips against his own and he, in return, devours her.
****** The mere moments before her departure, he walks to her and bids her like he used to. "Come", he calls to her with his hand extended. She smiles, and takes his hand with hers. Wrapping her fingers around his, she walks closer to her husband and father of her two children, before pressing her lips firmly against his. "My love..." she lies to him, "I must attend to something very important."
"Must it be now?" he asks of her in a hoarse tone. She could smell the desire and having been with Prince Ozai for years now, she knows exactly how to dismiss him without hurting his pride.
"Do not worry" and she leaves him a ginger kiss on the cheek. He shivers, and closes his eyes (she felt him turn, and wonders the degree of his love for her). She smiles, and then wraps her arms around him in an embrace. "I will return before the night is over."
She cloaks herself in the darkness, and takes the twin bladed swords that was given to her as a gift from her father-in-law. It is with these, that she takes his life and then leaves in the night. The only thing she carried with her of her past life were the memories of her son.
The only man she ever loved.
|
|
|
Post by avatariaxxxmari on Feb 6, 2007 20:49:43 GMT -5
Woah! That was deep! I liked it a lot. ((I'm guessing it's a oneshot)) very well written, and very passionate words of love in there ;D
|
|
|
Post by beautyfr.pain on Feb 6, 2007 20:57:15 GMT -5
beautiful.
[and i like your sig XD]
which means that she..killed that the man that gave her the swords, right? XD
|
|
Melis
Long Feng
hay baby wanna get away on my bison?
Posts: 3,293
|
Post by Melis on Feb 6, 2007 20:58:23 GMT -5
Hee, thanks Azula. I'm glad you liked it a lot! And yup, it is a one shot. Maybe I could continue or something, talking about her early days in the palace, as if she's remembering it while she's in exile. Thank you! My sig? Oh yeah, Shock Wave screencaptured it and I asked if I could use it for a sig. She thought it was hillarious. And that's right. I don't think she really killed Azulon with the two swords, but I thought it would be really ironic if she did. So I had to add it in the story.
|
|
|
Post by avatariaxxxmari on Feb 6, 2007 21:01:12 GMT -5
^ Actually that wouldn't be a bad idea ^^ I may be very intriuging as well ^^ Take your time and don't rush
^^ I'm sure it'll be great if you do though((Another chapter))
|
|
Melis
Long Feng
hay baby wanna get away on my bison?
Posts: 3,293
|
Post by Melis on Feb 6, 2007 21:08:19 GMT -5
Thanks for the encouragement! I'll take my time, and hopefully I'll be able to update ^^
|
|
Jenny Lee
Ba Sing Se Azula
Icon by me, sig by Catalyst
Posts: 2,765
|
Post by Jenny Lee on Feb 6, 2007 21:33:05 GMT -5
That was great! Nice job on Ursa and Ozai's reactions, even though we don't know too much about them. Another chapter would be great. It could be about what Ozai thought the next morning, and when he went out to the pond before Zuko saw him.
|
|
Melis
Long Feng
hay baby wanna get away on my bison?
Posts: 3,293
|
Post by Melis on Feb 6, 2007 21:39:42 GMT -5
That was great! Nice job on Ursa and Ozai's reactions, even though we don't know too much about them. Another chapter would be great. It could be about what Ozai thought the next morning, and when he went out to the pond before Zuko saw him. Thanks! We don't know that much about them now, but I hope season 3 will change that once it rolls around. Ooh, an Ozai chapter? Sounds interesting, maybe I'll do that. Thanks again for the suggestion.
|
|
Jenny Lee
Ba Sing Se Azula
Icon by me, sig by Catalyst
Posts: 2,765
|
Post by Jenny Lee on Feb 6, 2007 22:07:43 GMT -5
^You're welcome! ^_^
Again, great job on the fic. I look forward to a sequel! XD
|
|
|
Post by teashoppegirl on Feb 7, 2007 11:43:06 GMT -5
Absolutely wonderful, It's the type of fan fiction I enjoy reading. (anything that focus on minor characters)
You have a great writing style and I hope you do work on it's sequel.
|
|
Melis
Long Feng
hay baby wanna get away on my bison?
Posts: 3,293
|
Post by Melis on Mar 11, 2007 22:03:17 GMT -5
@jenny Lee: Thanks! I guess the sequel will have to hold off for awhile, because I starting writing the prequel. I couldn't help it. xD teashoppegirl: Thank you! I love reading fanfiction that deals with Ursa, she's my favorite minor character. I'm still working on what to do with the sequel, so I hope to have it up soon. For now, I hope you guys will enjoy the first part of the prequel to this story: Growing up, Ursa heard about the flames that represented their 'great' nation. The Fire Nation was one ruled by the element of fire, and their leader represented that very element. It was strong and vigorous, but deadly with a single touch. In order to be a great Fire Lord one must possess mastery of the element, and have the aspect of that element within them. That was what her mother and father often told her when she was little. The ideal is still true now as it was back then, but she could not see the possession and mastery of that very element within her father in law. Of course, he was a very powerful man and a very powerful fire bender at that. However, she could not see full mastery of the element within him. Everything seemed blurry to her, and she could not help but believe that the Fire Lord was, in fact, incomplete. "Fire Lord Azulon is a great man, and a powerful fire bender Ursa." Her husband once told her, with his usual expression. (One filled with blankness, and a face burned with tradition) "My father is very wise, but I too sometimes question his skill. However, I cannot speak against him for he is my father." "I understand," she replied back to him. Though to be honest, Ursa could not understand. Thinking about it now, she never could understand exactly what her husband thought. "He's a maze, Ursa. My brother was built as strong as a fortress, but his mind is a never ending maze.” That was what her brother in law, General Iroh, said about his brother to her one night while discussing politics over tea. "I understand completely, Iroh." Yet she lied, because she could not understand. While princess, she often remarked silently how handsome Ozai was and many of the other princesses often wondered who would be the lucky girl to marry such a hefty piece of man. "You must be kidding, certainly not me!" Ursa joked to her friends, "Prince Ozai seems like the kind of man who would bore me to death instead!" It was the truth, while young Ursa was very optimistic and dreamed of a bright future. She was surprised when Prince Ozai began to take notice of her, and it was then that Ursa figured her future to be crushed into many pieces. Royalty was often kept within the bloodline, but for some reason Ozai deemed Ursa to be worth the risk. He proposed to her under the night of a full moon, and she accepted. (With many regrets, though the regrets changed in time) It was only a few months into their marriage that Ursa received news from the physician that they were going to have a baby. Ozai settled his eyes on having a son he could be proud of, but Ursa did not care what sex the baby was born with. "I want a boy so he can make me and this nation proud. “ He often remarked while they laid together in their bed, or when they had their brief moments of matrimony. "As long as my baby is happy and well, it is all I can wish for." Both prayers were answered when Ursa gave birth to their first son a few months later. They were both blessed with a bouncing baby boy. She smiled, holding the babe covered in a red blanket with the fire nation symbol. (Representing his royal lineage) Ozai wanted to name their first child, but Ursa begged him to have the honor. She teased him, one of the many occurrences when she did, that she would give him the honor of naming their next child. When asked what she wanted to name their child, Ursa paused and whispered the name she desired. "His name will be Zuko..."
|
|
|
Post by firebender87 on Mar 13, 2007 12:08:33 GMT -5
The first one had a little more ump to it, but what do I know right. I'm not much of a writer, so this sneak peak is great when compared to mine. Keep up the good work.
|
|
Melis
Long Feng
hay baby wanna get away on my bison?
Posts: 3,293
|
Post by Melis on Mar 13, 2007 12:30:56 GMT -5
^Oh no I agree, the first one had more "ump" to it than the second. But I'm glad you liked it nonetheless! Now I'm afraid I'll never be able to top the first part, lol.
|
|
|
Post by firebender87 on Mar 13, 2007 12:39:23 GMT -5
^Oh no I agree, the first one had more "ump" to it than the second. But I'm glad you liked it nonetheless! Now I'm afraid I'll never be able to top the first part, lol. Oh I'm sure you'll be able to. Just put the same amount of time and effort you did on the first one. Then you'll have a fantastic fan-fic.
|
|
Melis
Long Feng
hay baby wanna get away on my bison?
Posts: 3,293
|
Post by Melis on Mar 13, 2007 12:44:16 GMT -5
Most likely, the funny thing was that I wrote that fanfic when I was in a "weird" mood. I definately think that my best drabbles are written when I'm in that mood. I guess I just need to find that "weird" mood again and see what I can come up with. Either way, I'll try my best into making the prequel have more "ump", as well as the sequel. Thanks for the support! I really appreciate it.
|
|