Auri's book (attempt) up: CHAPTER 2 Part 1 of 2

[Aura of Cruxis]

Okay! I'm going to try to stay committed! I need all of your help though! Please help me to stay committed and give criticism! (Beware: I have a horrible writing style.)

To Inherit the World: Seven Souls
Book 1
Aura of Cruxis/Destruction_Song


~Prologue~

Three gods ruled Thear, the world contiguous to the world of Nevhaen. The gods lived in peace until Serestos, the Ruler of the Heavens of Thear made an effort to overthrow Naëriade, the Mistress of Thearian Oceans, and Éterr, Lord of Thear's soil. Serestos used his brutality and killed innocent men and women only for the sake of his motive: power. A great war waged against Éterr and Serestos, but the hopes of Thear's people were crushed when Éterr was unable to succeed and expired. Naëriade, however, gave the citizens of Thear new hope as she began another assault against Serestos. Naëriade, although exhausted, was able to give the final blow that was forever influential to Serestos's life. Having accomplished her mission to terminate Serestos's attacks, Naëriade banished Serestos from Thear, and sent him to another dimension to perish. Serestos, using what was left of his power, cursed Naëriade.

"I give to you the curse to perish like mortals, Naëriade!
'Into seven souls you must give power and breath,
Or Thear will go to chaos on the day of your death!'
I will have retribution, Naëriade!"

As a sure sign that the curse's effects took place almost immediately, The Maiden's pure, porcelain-like skin transformed into wrinkles, the sure sign of aging. Her beautiful, golden hair turned gray while her slender, attractive body became frail. The immortal Naëriade was now susceptible to death by aging. She returned to her haven in the Thearian seas and looked at the surface world. At a time when seven souls were about to pass away, she gave as much power as she could while also sustaining her life. The seven souls she saved were given individual god-like powers, and lived through each of his near-death situations. Unfortunately, the souls she saved were also corrupted by a certain motive, due to another curse Naëriade unknowingly received from Serestos. That day began the war to inherit the world.


I already wrote the first chapter (which I'm pretty disappointed with...). I'm gonna post it up after I make a few more touches (besides, this is already pretty long)

[lunachaos]

Wow Auri this sounds really interesing!! I can't wait to read more and find out about what happens next. I liked the names, though I had to read on to get over how different they were.


Great Job!!

^_^;;

[Aura of Cruxis]

lunachaos said:

Wow Auri this sounds really interesing!! I can't wait to read more and find out about what happens next. I liked the names, though I had to read on to get over how different they were.


Great Job!!

^_^;;

LOL Thank you. Um the names won't really appear much though. only Naëriade's name will appear.

[lunachaos]

Alright. They were good, just different =DD

And you don't have to worry a ton about the prologues; normally they aren't like the rest of the story ^_^;;

[Aura of Cruxis]

Heee...Thanks for the info! (I'm not normally this committed, that's why I'm so worried about it!)

[lunachaos]

Yush, I know how you feel The best way to write a book is to plunge through the whole thing without going back to edit it (this drives me insane; I always want to fix something that's wrong). So then wala!! You have a first copy out, even if you vomited it out and it's crap. You still have something, and the rewrite is imminent anyways.

Plus, rewriting is fun (for meh anyways ^_^;

[Kohana]

=O

That's a great beginning, Auri. I'd like to read more.

And I agree with Luna, the names are so original.






^_^;;

[Aura of Cruxis]

LOL. I thought it kinda started out a little slow... (I should have the next chapter up by tonight,)

[Kohana]

Awesome, Auri

And I don't think it's slow.


^_^;;

[Aura of Cruxis]

~Chapter 1: Blake and Charity~

"Blake! Blake! No! No, don't die, please! I need you, Blake!"

"Sister? Sister. Stop. You're being too loud. I have a headache."

"Blake! It's Mother and Father! They're hurt! I don't know what to do! Blake, listen to me!" Charity shrieked frantically, but her younger twin brother fell into unconsciousness. Charity thought to herself in an attempt to be calm. Oh, no. What do I do? What if we all die? Alas, it was only an attempt and, therefore, she still panicked in what was a life and death situation. What do I do? The town...Would be totally helpless! Wait...It has an infirmary! But I can't even carry Blake, let alone our parents! She thought frantically of what to do, only having her common sense come in to total effect a few minutes later. I could bring the medics here! Charity thought with a drop of hope lingering in her mind. She ran as fast as she could in order to save her parents and her brother from death.

"Back already, Charity?" inquired an elderly civilian of Remodi* as Charity passed through the town gates only to be answered by the dust Charity's feet managed to kick up into the elderly woman's face.

Charity passed Remodi Town Hall and ran twisted the doorknob of the technologically old doors as they wouldn't open by themselves. She dashed to the front desk without paying attention to her sore lungs and feet. "My parents and my brother are on the side of the road severely bleeding! We were attacked by thieves! Please hurry, it's an emergency!"

"Okay, sweetie, we'll hurry. Please be ready to show us the way." The front desk** secretary called several medics who were not tending patients and came to the front desk where Charity greeted them with a nod and led the way. The party of four darted across the trail with as much speed they could manage and quickly encountered the three bodies. The three medics promptly aided Charity's family upon arrival as Charity sat on the side of the road take large breaths to relieve her burning lungs and, hopefully, her anxiety.

As the sun slowly fell below the horizon, the female medic who tended to Blake walked to Charity and sat down by her. "Honey, your brother--well, I assume he is your brother--seems to be in good condition. He's only unconscious."

"Yes, he's my twin brother actually. That's good to hear. Thank you for coming to our aid," smiled Charity

"It's no problem," the medic replied as she returned the smile. "I'm glad your brother's safe."

Charity looked up as the other two medics walked toward her. "I'm sorry, but your parents were severely wounded. There wasn't much we could do. They're...dead. I'm sorry we couldn't be of any more assistance.”

"Shut up! You're all lying to me! This is all a dream! Shut up!" screeched Charity as her eyes widened incredulously. She stood and staggered as fast as she could on the road in the direction opposite Remodi. She came to a pond where she fell onto the pebbles by the water's edge and cried. "Why won't I wake up? Why? Please let me wake up!" Her exhaustion from her earlier nervousness and disbelief caught her and, eventually, Charity drifted to sleep by the water's edge.


*The town of Remodi thanks to the help of Luna
**I know there's a better name for this XDDDD

The is Part 1. the first chapter was long so I decided to spare you guys from reading all that...XDDD

[lunachaos]

Sweet the town name is teh awesome ^_^;;

Hmm I can't think of the thing for the front desk.

I'm glad you're posting it in parts. I luffed it though!! Can't wait for more!!

[Aura of Cruxis]

OKay~ I can't guarantee that the next part will be up tonight but I CAN guarantee that it will be up tomorrow (i'm just prssuring myself so i don't forget to do it) XDDD

[Piro]

=D You're such an awesome writer, Auri! Someday when you publish your first book, you'll have to send my an autographed copy.

[Aura of Cruxis]

OMG I FORGOT! I KNEW I'D FORGET! GOSH!!!Well...Here it is....1 hour 23 minutes over due.....

~Chapter 1: Blake and Charity (cont.)~

Light streamed through the windows as Charity's dark eyes gladly accepted the intrusion to her nightmare. She sat up in bed and realized it was the inn's bed when she acknowledged that this room was totally unfamiliar to her. Charity glanced down to her left, relieved that Blake had fallen asleep with his head on the bedside as he was seated in a wooden chair. He's so adorable when he's asleep... thought Charity.

"Ugh. You're awake," stated Blake as he awoke, sat up, and ran his hands through his jet black, ruffled hair.

Charity laughed as Blake looked around the room confused as he took in the features of the foreign room. "Yeah, I'm awake. Oh, my goodness! I had a horrible dream! Mother and Father died! I couldn't wake up from it until the sun started shining!"

"Sister...That wasn't a dream," Blake dismally replied as he shot his eyes toward the floor. "That was...Last night."

"Sh--Shut up, Blake. Wh--Where are Mother and Father?" stuttered Charity.

"I told you," Blake said with an even more depressing voice. "Sister, they died last night."

"You're lying. Everyone's lying! Why is everyone lying?" Charity whined in disbelief.

A loud crash pierced the morning air. Blake stood and looked out the window. Red streaks blazed across the glass as two houses burned and the thieves from last night burned a third. "Sister, we have to go! It's them! They're back!"

"No, Blake! Not without Mother and Father! We have to get them!" Blake grasped the bag of treasures his father found and slung it over his shoulders as he ignored Charity's pleas to see their parents and took her hand and tugged Charity out the door of the room. Charity resisted and pulled away as she screamed protests, "Stop, Blake! If they're dead, I'll die here! I'll stay with Mother and Father!"

"Sister, you should treasure your life more!" Blake seized Charity's hand again and took her outside as he paid no heed to Charity's objections. By this time, the older sibling lost hope and only became submissive to her younger brother. She looked back into the burning village as she wept and longed to have died here with her parents. Charity ran into Blake when he abruptly halted when he stared up into the cold, gray eyes of a mad thief.

"Little boy, let me see that treasure," said the thief with a husky voice.

"N--No."

"Aww. Why not?"

Blake stuttered, "It's--It's..."

"It's the only thing we have to remember our parents by!" interrupted Charity with a clear tone of boldness in her voice.

"Let me just have one of your keepsakes, please?" replied the thief.

Charity became defensive and stepped in front of her brother. "Why should we?"

"If you don't," spoke the clearly irritated thief, "I'll kill you both."

"Then I'll die!" Charity answered without thought.

"No, she won't. You can have it!" Blake threw the sack of valuables at the thief's feet. "Let's go, Sister."

"Blake! How could you? Do you betray our parents?"

"No, I value all our lives...Let's go, Charity."

"You're a good boy, Blake," laughed the thief. With that, Blake led Charity out of the slowly decaying and burning village of Remodi.

--------------------------

OKAYYY~!!! There's the second part. @ Pyrie: If I ever do, you'll be the first...Big sister! XD LOL

[Piro]

Awww... Poor twinsie! D=

=D w00t for Big Sister-ness!