Post by asian malaysian on Nov 15, 2010 3:41:22 GMT -5
"Wai’s Opinionator: How to Spot a Girlfriend at the Movies
15 November, 2010
By Wai
And now for something completely different. Something on a more personal level. And in case you’re wondering, yes, the following stories are all true …
Can you tell whether the people you date qualify as relationship material based on your movie-going experience with them?
I know, this sounds like a strange or trivial way to determine a good catch. There are more obvious yardsticks you can rely on (like say, if the person has a good job and a solid family background, or looks totally awesome in tight tees). But for the longest time, this helped me size up prospective girlfriends. Which may account for why I am usually single. But there is merit in this method. Allow me to explain.
I’ve noticed that the way people respond to a film reveals a lot about their own worldview, and the way they behave in the cinema betrays their personality traits and idiosyncrasies. It’s sort of like a sneak preview of the entire persona. It hasn’t led to me finding Ms. Right, but it sure has worked as an Early Warning System to filter out the weirdos, the psychos, the bimbos, the social retards, and the “Twilight” fans. Now before you ladies get all riled up over this so-called objectification, please note that my article isn’t meant to be taken seriously. Except by you “Twilight” fans. Perhaps one day you shall realise that proper vampires do not glitter daintily in broad daylight. They merely explode in a ball of screaming hellfire, like all self-respecting vampires do.
Back on track … This Early Warning System of mine has a meter that ranges from the obvious Red Flags, to the more subtle, won’t-know-they’re-wrong-for-you-till-after-several-dates kinda gals. Let’s start with the obvious. As a filmmaker, M. Night Shyamalan is now utterly useless, but his latest films are an excellent way to determine the Red Flag types. I resisted watching “The Last Airbender” in the cinema because I generally don’t like testicular pain. And I was told that watching it is the equivalent of getting repeatedly kicked in the nuts. By a “Twilight” fan.
Recently, I met this girl. Seemed sweet enough on the outside. Our first proper outing would’ve been the standard dinner and a movie. I had booked a number of movies, but she didn’t want to watch any of them. First Red Flag, by the way: people who can’t make up their mind, yet don’t like any of the choices you offer them. She suggested getting some DVDs and watching them at home instead. I chose a few genres that I thought would cover the bases: action, chick-flick, comedy and art film (no, not porn). Again, she didn’t like anything I recommended. The natural response was to let her choose. We stood in the shop for nearly half an hour, while she stared blankly at the rows and rows of DVDs. Finally, she picked one up. Yup, it was “The Last Airbender”. Very diplomatically, I asked if she’d heard any bad word-of-mouth about this movie. She just shrugged and said she liked “kid’s films”.
If by kid’s films she meant the kind of kids who grow up to be serial killers, then yes, this is indeed a kid’s film. Because while/after watching it, you’d very likely be driven to murder lots of people. Preferably the cast and crew of “The Last Airbender”. My date, on the other hand, liked the film. Apparently, it was better than “pretentious” movies like “Inception”. Normally, I’m not one to make up my mind about someone so quickly. But here’s the kicker: she saw the look on my face when the end credits rolled. It was the look of a man who’d had the light of the universe forcibly and violently extracted from his soul (also known as the “got repeatedly kicked in the nuts” look). And she got annoyed at ME. “Why do you have to make fun of what I like?” I hadn’t. I was too busy re-compiling my mental list of “Worst Films Of 2010 & In The History Of Forever”. But she felt that some insult had been thrown at her because my look suggested I didn’t agree that the one film she’d chosen was a good choice. The night ended awkwardly yet (amazingly) on a civil note. And that was that."
www.loyarburok.com/human-rights/lets-get-together/wais-opinionator-how-to-spot-a-girlfriend-at-the-movies/comment-page-1/#comment-55034
15 November, 2010
By Wai
And now for something completely different. Something on a more personal level. And in case you’re wondering, yes, the following stories are all true …
Can you tell whether the people you date qualify as relationship material based on your movie-going experience with them?
I know, this sounds like a strange or trivial way to determine a good catch. There are more obvious yardsticks you can rely on (like say, if the person has a good job and a solid family background, or looks totally awesome in tight tees). But for the longest time, this helped me size up prospective girlfriends. Which may account for why I am usually single. But there is merit in this method. Allow me to explain.
I’ve noticed that the way people respond to a film reveals a lot about their own worldview, and the way they behave in the cinema betrays their personality traits and idiosyncrasies. It’s sort of like a sneak preview of the entire persona. It hasn’t led to me finding Ms. Right, but it sure has worked as an Early Warning System to filter out the weirdos, the psychos, the bimbos, the social retards, and the “Twilight” fans. Now before you ladies get all riled up over this so-called objectification, please note that my article isn’t meant to be taken seriously. Except by you “Twilight” fans. Perhaps one day you shall realise that proper vampires do not glitter daintily in broad daylight. They merely explode in a ball of screaming hellfire, like all self-respecting vampires do.
Back on track … This Early Warning System of mine has a meter that ranges from the obvious Red Flags, to the more subtle, won’t-know-they’re-wrong-for-you-till-after-several-dates kinda gals. Let’s start with the obvious. As a filmmaker, M. Night Shyamalan is now utterly useless, but his latest films are an excellent way to determine the Red Flag types. I resisted watching “The Last Airbender” in the cinema because I generally don’t like testicular pain. And I was told that watching it is the equivalent of getting repeatedly kicked in the nuts. By a “Twilight” fan.
Recently, I met this girl. Seemed sweet enough on the outside. Our first proper outing would’ve been the standard dinner and a movie. I had booked a number of movies, but she didn’t want to watch any of them. First Red Flag, by the way: people who can’t make up their mind, yet don’t like any of the choices you offer them. She suggested getting some DVDs and watching them at home instead. I chose a few genres that I thought would cover the bases: action, chick-flick, comedy and art film (no, not porn). Again, she didn’t like anything I recommended. The natural response was to let her choose. We stood in the shop for nearly half an hour, while she stared blankly at the rows and rows of DVDs. Finally, she picked one up. Yup, it was “The Last Airbender”. Very diplomatically, I asked if she’d heard any bad word-of-mouth about this movie. She just shrugged and said she liked “kid’s films”.
If by kid’s films she meant the kind of kids who grow up to be serial killers, then yes, this is indeed a kid’s film. Because while/after watching it, you’d very likely be driven to murder lots of people. Preferably the cast and crew of “The Last Airbender”. My date, on the other hand, liked the film. Apparently, it was better than “pretentious” movies like “Inception”. Normally, I’m not one to make up my mind about someone so quickly. But here’s the kicker: she saw the look on my face when the end credits rolled. It was the look of a man who’d had the light of the universe forcibly and violently extracted from his soul (also known as the “got repeatedly kicked in the nuts” look). And she got annoyed at ME. “Why do you have to make fun of what I like?” I hadn’t. I was too busy re-compiling my mental list of “Worst Films Of 2010 & In The History Of Forever”. But she felt that some insult had been thrown at her because my look suggested I didn’t agree that the one film she’d chosen was a good choice. The night ended awkwardly yet (amazingly) on a civil note. And that was that."
www.loyarburok.com/human-rights/lets-get-together/wais-opinionator-how-to-spot-a-girlfriend-at-the-movies/comment-page-1/#comment-55034