Post by Ikkin on Mar 4, 2007 1:51:38 GMT -5
...this is kind of a theory in fic form. Or an attempt to get into Zuko's head. Anyway...
“Go help your other friends. We'll catch up with you.”
Why did it have to be the Avatar?
It's almost like a curse, I thought. No matter what I do, what choices I make, I'll always run into him. This had once been a blessing, when I had intended to restore my honor through his capture. But I had thrown more than my mask away at Lake Laogai, when I had freed his bison. Honestly, I didn't free the beast for the reason that Uncle thought I did, and I definitely didn't free him to help the Avatar. No, I'd simply thought that maybe, if the bison was free, he would leave, and I would never have to see him again. And good riddance.
I was wrong, of course. I'd almost been taken in by Uncle's promise that I could make my own destiny. There was a certain appeal to it – if it was true, my destiny of reclaiming my throne and my honor need not be intertwined with the Avatar. The boy whose continued existence mocks me, who has brought nothing but shame to me and injury to my Uncle – if it was not for the Avatar, Azula never would have done that to him – could disappear from my life, and I would never have to see him again.
But there he was. And it was Uncle, of all people, who had brought him there. Why couldn't he understand how much my decision not to let myself be bound to him had cost? And what could have possessed him to promise that I would go with them?
“Why, Uncle?”
“You are not the man you used to be, Zuko. You are stronger and wiser and freer than you have ever been. And now you have come to the crossroads of your destiny. It's time for you to choose. It's time for you to choose good!” Uncle said.
He doesn't understand. How could this be a crossroads when I didn't have the freedom to choose which road to follow? And even if I could make my own destiny, why would he withhold the destiny that I truly want, and expect me to choose his path? I closed my eyes...
...then immediately opened them in shock as the whole cave we were in shook violently. Uncle was trapped in crystal before either of us could react. Earthbenders. I immediately fell into a firebending stance. Moments later, Azula appeared. My sister.
“I expected this kind of treachery from Uncle, but Zuko, Prince Zuko...you're a lot of things, but you're not a traitor, are you?”
She didn't intend to fight. I lowered my defenses and allowed myself to relax somewhat. But she still wasn't going to get away with treating Uncle like that. “Release him immediately!”
“It's not too late, Zuko. You can still redeem yourself.” She smiled.
Could I?
“The kind of redemption she offers is not for you.”
My eyes widened. How could I have let myself be drawn in? Uncle was right. I couldn't let myself rest.
“Why don't you let him decide, Uncle?” she cut in.
Why doesn't he? He claims I have a choice; why is he always trying to make it for me?
“I need you Zuko. I've plotted every move of this day, this glorious day in Fire Nation history, and the only way we win is together. At the end of this day, you will have your honor back. You will have your father's love. You will have everything you want.”
She needs me? No one had ever needed me before... even Uncle. I could restore my honor... regain Father's love... without the Avatar?
“Zuko, I am begging you, look into your heart and see what it is that you truly want,” Uncle said in a low tone. He should have known that I had already done that... had he given up on me already?
What I wanted, what I truly wanted, was for Uncle to be right about my destiny. I wanted to be free to choose a destiny in which I could be Prince Zuko, without being bound to chase or help the Avatar.
“You are free to choose,” Azula said as she walked out of the chamber and ordered the Dai Li to do so as well.
Those words echoed through my mind as I made my decision. I was free to choose my destiny... and I wanted the Avatar out of it. That was why I fought, nearly in a mad rage whenever I saw him. And that was why I entirely overlooked the most important reason for rejecting Azula's offer until he turned away from me, entirely encased in crystal. I had betrayed Uncle... and it hurt.
I could care less what actually happened to the Avatar. I decided not to tell my sister about the special water that the Water Tribe girl had offered to use to heal me. Whether or not it was used to revive him mattered little to me, so long as I no longer had anything to do with him.
As you can imagine, that was not meant to be. I'm beginning to wonder whether or not Uncle might have been wrong about destiny, because no matter how hard I try to write it differently, he always ends up coming back into it.
“Go help your other friends. We'll catch up with you.”
Why did it have to be the Avatar?
It's almost like a curse, I thought. No matter what I do, what choices I make, I'll always run into him. This had once been a blessing, when I had intended to restore my honor through his capture. But I had thrown more than my mask away at Lake Laogai, when I had freed his bison. Honestly, I didn't free the beast for the reason that Uncle thought I did, and I definitely didn't free him to help the Avatar. No, I'd simply thought that maybe, if the bison was free, he would leave, and I would never have to see him again. And good riddance.
I was wrong, of course. I'd almost been taken in by Uncle's promise that I could make my own destiny. There was a certain appeal to it – if it was true, my destiny of reclaiming my throne and my honor need not be intertwined with the Avatar. The boy whose continued existence mocks me, who has brought nothing but shame to me and injury to my Uncle – if it was not for the Avatar, Azula never would have done that to him – could disappear from my life, and I would never have to see him again.
But there he was. And it was Uncle, of all people, who had brought him there. Why couldn't he understand how much my decision not to let myself be bound to him had cost? And what could have possessed him to promise that I would go with them?
“Why, Uncle?”
“You are not the man you used to be, Zuko. You are stronger and wiser and freer than you have ever been. And now you have come to the crossroads of your destiny. It's time for you to choose. It's time for you to choose good!” Uncle said.
He doesn't understand. How could this be a crossroads when I didn't have the freedom to choose which road to follow? And even if I could make my own destiny, why would he withhold the destiny that I truly want, and expect me to choose his path? I closed my eyes...
...then immediately opened them in shock as the whole cave we were in shook violently. Uncle was trapped in crystal before either of us could react. Earthbenders. I immediately fell into a firebending stance. Moments later, Azula appeared. My sister.
“I expected this kind of treachery from Uncle, but Zuko, Prince Zuko...you're a lot of things, but you're not a traitor, are you?”
She didn't intend to fight. I lowered my defenses and allowed myself to relax somewhat. But she still wasn't going to get away with treating Uncle like that. “Release him immediately!”
“It's not too late, Zuko. You can still redeem yourself.” She smiled.
Could I?
“The kind of redemption she offers is not for you.”
My eyes widened. How could I have let myself be drawn in? Uncle was right. I couldn't let myself rest.
“Why don't you let him decide, Uncle?” she cut in.
Why doesn't he? He claims I have a choice; why is he always trying to make it for me?
“I need you Zuko. I've plotted every move of this day, this glorious day in Fire Nation history, and the only way we win is together. At the end of this day, you will have your honor back. You will have your father's love. You will have everything you want.”
She needs me? No one had ever needed me before... even Uncle. I could restore my honor... regain Father's love... without the Avatar?
“Zuko, I am begging you, look into your heart and see what it is that you truly want,” Uncle said in a low tone. He should have known that I had already done that... had he given up on me already?
What I wanted, what I truly wanted, was for Uncle to be right about my destiny. I wanted to be free to choose a destiny in which I could be Prince Zuko, without being bound to chase or help the Avatar.
“You are free to choose,” Azula said as she walked out of the chamber and ordered the Dai Li to do so as well.
Those words echoed through my mind as I made my decision. I was free to choose my destiny... and I wanted the Avatar out of it. That was why I fought, nearly in a mad rage whenever I saw him. And that was why I entirely overlooked the most important reason for rejecting Azula's offer until he turned away from me, entirely encased in crystal. I had betrayed Uncle... and it hurt.
I could care less what actually happened to the Avatar. I decided not to tell my sister about the special water that the Water Tribe girl had offered to use to heal me. Whether or not it was used to revive him mattered little to me, so long as I no longer had anything to do with him.
As you can imagine, that was not meant to be. I'm beginning to wonder whether or not Uncle might have been wrong about destiny, because no matter how hard I try to write it differently, he always ends up coming back into it.