A Song I'm Writing

[goten0040]

www.twitvid.com/TVT1Q

This is a rough cut of a song I've been writing this evening, "Something." I'd just really like a little feedback. I think it needs some more work, but I'd like to hear what you guys think.

Lyrics:
Rain pounds hard on the window
As I pack my bag
You should've known I'd be a no-show
And I really hate to brag

You used to really be something
Now you're nothing at all
I can't stay and let you hurt me
I can't stay and watch you fall

You will never be my bruise
I've got nothing left to lose
I gave up everything to you
Thinking maybe someday I'd be something too

Every little thing that mattered
I am leaving in the past
I can't let myself be shattered
I can't make this love last

Now I've finally changed my view
Won't let you hurt me; I refuse
I have finally learned the truth
I've always been something
Today I'll be something without you

[Gran Gran]

Sounds like a rough break up!

Love the song.
(but you need either a better piano or better recording equipment. And that is really the only thing I can find remotely wrong)

[goten0040]

I do. I'm staring at these amazing mics on GuitarCenter.com and wanting to cry cuz I can't pay a hundred bucks to buy them.

And oddly enough, I've never had a rough break up. That's just the words that came to me.

[Gran Gran]

^_^ Lucky you.
because it sounds like you lived it.
(Or did you fire your boss?)



yeah, I hear you, the equipment is high!. But hey, ebay and craigslist, you never know what you can find!
(Or hook up with Jimmy Wong )

[goten0040]

I guess I kind of lived it, but not with a boyfriend? I've been through a lot of rough "break-ups" with friends and even with a very large amount of my family.

[Gran Gran]

It's the same thing. Lost Love.

[goten0040]

That's true. The more I listen to it, the prouder I am of it. That's a good sign.

[Gran Gran]

^_^

You have all reason to be proud!


Had to listen to your other original again, too!
'Try' is just wonderful (though I am waiting for the 2nd voice to go with it! )

[goten0040]

Hey, Gran! Here's a much more final cut of the thing.

youtu.be/W819OEyVar4

[Gran Gran]

YOU ADDED STRINGS!!!!!

You really need better recording equipment!

[goten0040]

I KNOWWWWW but I don't feel like I'll ever be able to afford the high end equipment.

[Gran Gran]

you can do it - eventually!

[Gran Gran]

Hey, you got it as MP3? So I can add it to my other song of yours? <GRIN>

[goten0040]

Yeah! Message me your email and I'll send you one.

[Gran Gran]

Thank you! ^_^

I am in love with it!