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Post by Gran Gran on Jul 17, 2011 21:42:39 GMT -5
I am sorry if this is not what you want to hear but you need to sever. Now. Remove him entirely from your life and DO NOT interact with the child at all. This is a responsibility that you should not burden yourself with, and it WILL hurt you in the long run. Being a teen mom is neither glamorous or fun, it is a near hellish existence. Real life is not like Juno or Secret Life. Thankfully you are lucky, its not yours. He f**ked up, he has to deal with this child with the mother for the rest of his life. You should not be involved in any way. To repeat, SEVER immediately. And by that I mean tonight if possible. I am not trolling or being mean, I am honest that this is advice you need to take. It's not a near hellish existence, unless you experienced it you don't know. There is nothing hellish about being a teen mom, it's difficult, but it's a love like no other regardless of age. well, you are a bit older than a lot of the teen moms. Almost an adult so to speak!
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Mari
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Post by Mari on Jul 17, 2011 21:45:15 GMT -5
He is either going to be with her or not. She's the homewrecker obviously, and look what happened! Don't let her get to you, she's just jealous or something. I think she needs to worry about her baby, and not about you. Relationships may not last forever, but your child will always be your child, of course unless you are Casey Anthony.
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Mari
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Post by Mari on Jul 17, 2011 21:46:31 GMT -5
It's not a near hellish existence, unless you experienced it you don't know. There is nothing hellish about being a teen mom, it's difficult, but it's a love like no other regardless of age. well, you are a bit older than a lot of the teen moms. Almost an adult so to speak! I'm almost 21 but I had Janessa at 19 so I'm like a late teen mom
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Post by Gran Gran on Jul 17, 2011 21:50:07 GMT -5
Thank you all for your advice. I'm just extremely confused right now. The good thing is, he really loves his son: I really love my boyfriend; we've been through a lot together...but I have my own life to live. If I choose to stay, there is a good chance I won't get to do some of the things I wanted to. Plus, the mother hates me. =/ She called me a homewrecker, and told me she doesn't want me around her son. I don't really think I did anything to deserve this, seeing as how he was with me before her, and he was never in an actual relationship with her anyway, but who knows? Maybe her hormones are just making her angry at me or something. I've never been around anyone who's just had a baby before, so I don't know how that goes. She's been sending me angry txts a lot though, with no reason. So..I'm just staying away for now. That's another reason I'm really confused. He has a family now. I don't want to ruin things... So you call her a tramp, then you block her. Seriously, why do you read texts from this woman? Seems like your man has some souls searching to do. And maybe you do too. maybe you need to talk to a counselor who can give you the appropriate tools to deal with this situation. And here is one thing I am telling you, just in case things don't wok out with your BF and you: There are a LOT of fish in the sea. For some reason statistics always say there is a woman surplus, but I know a lot of unattached guys who are really nice whom I would not mind dating (my husbands has other ideas in that perspective though, so there) ( and frankly....there is something wrong with a guy who just leaves his mark like this...they make those thingeys to go over his little guy to prevent the sewing of wild oats....) Take a bubble bath and enjoy a box of chocolates or some Haagen Daaz....think it over with a chick flick (An Affair to Remember or Sleepless in Seattle...)
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Post by Gran Gran on Jul 17, 2011 21:51:17 GMT -5
He is either going to be with her or not. She's the homewrecker obviously, and look what happened! Don't let her get to you, she's just jealous or something. I think she needs to worry about her baby, and not about you. Relationships may not last forever, but your child will always be your child, of course unless you are Casey Anthony. ;D YOU ARE BAD!!!! ;D
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Mari
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Post by Mari on Jul 17, 2011 21:51:46 GMT -5
Haagen Daaz gosh I want some Icecream!!
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Baylee
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Post by Baylee on Jul 17, 2011 21:52:35 GMT -5
He is either going to be with her or not. She's the homewrecker obviously, and look what happened! Don't let her get to you, she's just jealous or something. I think she needs to worry about her baby, and not about you. Relationships may not last forever, but your child will always be your child, of course unless you are Casey Anthony. (Side note) Arrrggghhhh Casey Anthony makes me so mad! (Back to the topic) Yeah...she isn't the nicest woman I've ever met. I was actually gonna offer some help. You see...she is 20 years old, with a full-time job and no college education. I believe she works at Old Navy (a clothing store, in case you don't have it in your state. I know some states are weird on stores). I was going to offer baby sitting time or something. Logan is currently in college, and hard up for cash...so since I have money, I was going to go ahead and help him out with a few things. I was really gonna take this baby under my wing...but, with her pushing me back as hard as she is...as long as my boyfriend is around, I will only step in if I see the child is bad off. Other than that, I will simply have to stay quiet on everything =/
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Mari
Sokka
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Post by Mari on Jul 17, 2011 21:53:25 GMT -5
He is either going to be with her or not. She's the homewrecker obviously, and look what happened! Don't let her get to you, she's just jealous or something. I think she needs to worry about her baby, and not about you. Relationships may not last forever, but your child will always be your child, of course unless you are Casey Anthony. ;D YOU ARE BAD!!!! ;D I'm actually surprised nothing was brought up on that matter!
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Mari
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Post by Mari on Jul 17, 2011 21:55:18 GMT -5
He is either going to be with her or not. She's the homewrecker obviously, and look what happened! Don't let her get to you, she's just jealous or something. I think she needs to worry about her baby, and not about you. Relationships may not last forever, but your child will always be your child, of course unless you are Casey Anthony. (Side note) Arrrggghhhh Casey Anthony makes me so mad! (Back to the topic) Yeah...she isn't the nicest woman I've ever met. I was actually gonna offer some help. You see...she is 20 years old, with a full-time job and no college education. I believe she works at Old Navy (a clothing store, in case you don't have it in your state. I know some states are weird on stores). I was going to offer baby sitting time or something. Logan is currently in college, and hard up for cash...so since I have money, I was going to go ahead and help him out with a few things. I was really gonna take this baby under my wing...but, with her pushing me back as hard as she is...as long as my boyfriend is around, I will only step in if I see the child is bad off. Other than that, I will simply have to stay quiet on everything =/ That might be the best thing to do for now, I'd let her do her thing, let him do his thing, and you girl live your life, go to college, get a good job, and plan your life from there
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Post by Gran Gran on Jul 17, 2011 21:55:42 GMT -5
He is either going to be with her or not. She's the homewrecker obviously, and look what happened! Don't let her get to you, she's just jealous or something. I think she needs to worry about her baby, and not about you. Relationships may not last forever, but your child will always be your child, of course unless you are Casey Anthony. (Side note) Arrrggghhhh Casey Anthony makes me so mad! (Back to the topic) Yeah...she isn't the nicest woman I've ever met. I was actually gonna offer some help. You see...she is 20 years old, with a full-time job and no college education. I believe she works at Old Navy (a clothing store, in case you don't have it in your state. I know some states are weird on stores). I was going to offer baby sitting time or something. Logan is currently in college, and hard up for cash...so since I have money, I was going to go ahead and help him out with a few things. I was really gonna take this baby under my wing...but, with her pushing me back as hard as she is...as long as my boyfriend is around, I will only step in if I see the child is bad off. Other than that, I will simply have to stay quiet on everything =/ The thought counts, but yeah, step out of the picture. She should have family to take care of things. Dunno how old navy works, but she has a job so she can pay for day care.....don't sweat it. it's not your kid.
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Baylee
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Post by Baylee on Jul 17, 2011 21:59:14 GMT -5
Yeah...problem is when you're so maternal, like me, it's really hard to just...step aside. lol I had an excellent upbringing; I was very spoiled. I hate it when other kids don't get the same. It makes me feel sort of...guilty. Anyways...you both are right. I just need to relax, and let things happen.
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Mari
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Post by Mari on Jul 17, 2011 22:03:04 GMT -5
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Baylee
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Post by Baylee on Jul 17, 2011 22:06:56 GMT -5
I suppose I don't need to worry as much as I do...even without me, my boyfriend is an amazing man. He will take care of that baby as well as he can.
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Post by Paraiba Ocean on Jul 18, 2011 21:39:51 GMT -5
I really love my boyfriend; we've been through a lot together...but I have my own life to live. If I choose to stay, there is a good chance I won't get to do some of the things I wanted to. Plus, the mother hates me. =/ She called me a homewrecker, and told me she doesn't want me around her son. I don't really think I did anything to deserve this, seeing as how he was with me before her, and he was never in an actual relationship with her anyway, but who knows? Maybe her hormones are just making her angry at me or something. I've never been around anyone who's just had a baby before, so I don't know how that goes. She's been sending me angry txts a lot though, with no reason. So..I'm just staying away for now. That's another reason I'm really confused. He has a family now. I don't want to ruin things... He has a son - not a wife. Don't make the mistake of combining the two. You can certainly be a father without being a husband. Plus, it seems like she's just trying to hold onto him because she needs the support of the father of her child. That doesn't make you a homewrecker, but I don't think it makes her one either. Granted, you shouldn't let her walk all over you because this is anything but your fault, and it's her responsibility, but if she's being a troll to you, tell your boyfriend to tell her to bug off and/or block her number. Yeah...she isn't the nicest woman I've ever met. I was actually gonna offer some help. You see...she is 20 years old, with a full-time job and no college education. I believe she works at Old Navy (a clothing store, in case you don't have it in your state. I know some states are weird on stores). I was going to offer baby sitting time or something. Logan is currently in college, and hard up for cash...so since I have money, I was going to go ahead and help him out with a few things. I was really gonna take this baby under my wing...but, with her pushing me back as hard as she is...as long as my boyfriend is around, I will only step in if I see the child is bad off. Other than that, I will simply have to stay quiet on everything =/ I hate to seem like I'm taking up for her, but I can definitely empathize that she's under a lot of pressure and stress. 20 is a young age to be a parent, and I wouldn't go so far as to say having a child at that age ruins your life, but it changes everything dramatically. She's clearly feeling territorial over your boyfriend, but whether that's over him being your boyfriend and not hers, or more for the fact she just wants to make sure her son has a father remains to be seen. And working at Old Navy with a father who's not much older than she is and a college student doesn't exactly mean there's a lot of finances going around. Babies are expensive. Of course, people find a way to make it work, but it is a bigger stress on a 20 year old, no degree female than it is on a 30 year old female with a college degree and a good salary with a father who has a good income as well. Again - I'm not justifying what she's doing, and by no means do I think you should let her walk all over you, but there are other variables to consider. She could very well be a nice person just dealing with some unfortunate circumstances and lashing out at the wrong person/people, or she could be a really unpleasant person, period. And don't take it to heart that she doesn't want your input on raising the child. Remember, he isn't your son, so you don't need to feel an obligation to raise him. I know it's hard because you want to help him/your boyfriend, but even then, try to stay low-key until things start smoothing out. There's a lot of legwork your boyfriend has to do on his own because this is his responsibility.
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Baylee
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Post by Baylee on Jul 20, 2011 12:13:48 GMT -5
Well, thanks for your advice, but actually...
We just broke it off. BIG ol' fight. I'll spare the details. Anyways, he gets his family, I get my life, we're square. I realized during the fight that I'm in love with who he was when I met him, not the scum bag he's become. He's a lying, cheating son of a b***h, and I'm better than that; especially with how I've supported him with everything.
I'm done, gone, vanished, etc.
In short...
I'M SINGLE, surds! lmao
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