The Zutara Capfic Cruise!!!

[mahatista]

*special note: A 'capfic' is a style of fan fiction that was very popular during season one. The typical 'capfic' would have Zuko capturing Katara and holding her on his ship in an effort to lure the avatar to her rescue. It rarely took long for her to NOT want to be rescued.


And our story begins...

The metal hulk of the Fire Nation war ship cuts through the glassy sea. From the outside it appears to be a normal, destroyer class battle ship, moving from one place to the next, searching for enemies, traitors and various and sundry trouble makers.

From the inside it’s obvious this is a Fire Nation battle ship in search of…

A Party!

Unfortunately the helmsman has disappeared. All experienced Fire Nation personnel are getting dressed for the cruise of the century. And at the helm is a pair of neophytes, eager to please, but fully aware they could run aground at any moment.

“It’s okay Bagpipe,” says Maha, her shaky voice belying the meaning of her words, “it will just add to the excitement that we don’t know what we’re doing.”

“Whatever you say, Maha.” Bagpipe rolls her eyes, knowing full well the fate of the entire bash hinges on their ability to figure out how to drive this thing!

“We have a chart, a map, a plan, lots of tea and a sungi horn. What else do we need?” Maha asks with impressive faux optimism.

“Guests?” Bagpipe responds with a smirk. “It’s not like we sent out a bunch of invitations.”

“Oh. Yeah.” Maha answers lamely. “Why don’t we just go get them?”

“Get them?”

“You know… get them.”

“Kidnap them?”

“Sure. And when their friends come to rescue them we’ll kidnap them too.” Maha starts getting excited.

“I’m pretty sure that’s illegal, not to mention creepy.” Bagpipe shakes her head and tries once again to locate land through the telescope.

“Not if it’s for a party.” Maha sulks.

“Don’t pout. You know I hate it when you pout.” Bagpipe grumbles.

“Couldn’t we kidnap just a few? Then you’ll see how fun it is to sneak up on people unawares and bring them aboard the ship against their will only to have them turn around and thank you for it later!” A hopeful smile lights Maha’s face.

Bagpipe considers this scenario. She’s got to admit it’s pretty flawless.

“I’m in. Let’s just … get them.” She turns to the itinerary and points to the South Pole. “The hot cocoa vendors will be waiting for us. We’ll gather up our guests and head straight for the Southern Water Tribe.”

Getting down to business, the two would-be hosts plan their strategy. The first capture is…

[The Blue Chibi]

The beautiful young graying, middle-aged Fire Nation healer struggled as she was brought, bound, onto the bridge of the ship.

"Hey, what are you doing! I have tickets! See? Maha, tell your bouncers to get off me! Aaargh!"

Once she had been released, she stood up and dusted herself off.

"Well, all this capturing and stuff is good for you young folks, but my knees are a bit old for it. Next time, could you please just card me instead? Far more flattering."

Giving a shrill whistle, she yelled for the rest of her company to join her.

"Yo, Iroh! Tell Ming to grab the tsungi horn and tell JJ and Piandao it's time to get on board! We've got a week-long party to play, and tons of food to eat between sets! Hurry up!"

Ming, skilled at the stringed pipa, walked up the gangplank playing it, and the beautiful music filled the air, setting the tone for a great Zutarian ship party.


worldmusic.nationalgeographic.com/worldmusic/view/page.basic/artist/content.artist/liu_fang_16732 [click "listen"]


"Let the cruise begin!" shouted Iroh, smashing a bottle of jasmine and lemongrass tea across the bow of the boat. "Sniff... such a waste of good tea..."

Chibi, recovered from her squabble with the bouncers, laughed as she made her way across the deck, in search of chocolate.

[mahatista]

"Sorry Chibi," Maha said sheepishly. "I was afraid you wouldn't come so I sent the big guys after you. No harm done, right?"

Maha looked around the deck at all the decorations and the tea mess and the poor strongman that Chibi had knocked half unconscious with her fists of fury and sighed.

"It's going to take a long time to capture guests, isn't it?"

"Don't fret Maha." Bagpipe smiled slyly. "I said we'd get them and we will..."

[The Blue Chibi]

Chibi blew on her knuckles. "Yup, ol' Fists o' Fury Chibi, that's what they used to call me in the old days. You know, maha, we were asked to play for a few other gigs this same night, but we had to tell them all we were booked. So if your guests don't show up 'til later, it's probably 'cause they're at some other functions. But hey, no party really gets started 'til the witching hour, right? We'l just nosh on the munchies 'til they get here and talk about old times...

"Remember when Ursa asked us to play for her engagement party to Ozai? Sigh, that match seemed like it would have turned out so well... two good-looking young people, well-connected families ~ who knew? I thought it would all turn out better than that. Now look ~ family broken, kids feuding ~ who knows where it'll turn next? I read all about it in the Fire Nation Enquirer last week, so I know. But they got Ursa's side of the story all wrong ~ who knows, she might turn up here later and give us her version of the events." ;D

[mahatista]

Maha laughed. "Ozai's a hottie. I always buy the Enquirer when he's on the cover."

Feeling she'd revealed too much, Maha hurried over to the snack table and shoved some fire-prawn stuffed olives in her mouth.

[Pixar]

It was at that moment, a small (and very damp) figure dashed into view, sliding in on her knees in an Elvis Presley-esque fashion with her arms stretched out wide.

"Pixar has ARRIVED!" she exclaimed proudly, dripping all over the deck. Dropping her arms, Pixar added, "I never was one for simple entrances. Did you know that the water is FREEZING out there?"

Pixar stood up, shaking the water out of her hair. "So. Right. Zutara Cruise. Fabulous!" Her attention was immediately grabbed by the munching sounds coming from Maha. "Oh. My. Gosh. Is that a snack table?"

[mahatista]

"Mmmphmblmp" Maha said to Pixar.

Swallowing hard she wiped her mouth and smiled.

"You're just in time. We're capturing guests for the party. If you don't have a ticket we're going to have to put you in cuffs... just kidding. Have some tea. Iroh's brewing. Uh...could you stop dripping on the maki?"

[bagpipe turtle]

Bagpipe greeted Pixar and Chibi with a wave and cheery hello.

"Would anyone like some Jasmine tea? Iroh's perfected his recipe, and our cruise is the first to taste-test this new brew!" She told the others, motioning to Iroh and his teapot with a hand that already held a cup of tea.

[mahatista]

"Wow. That was smooth Bagpipe. You're like a real hostess." Maha stuffed another olive in her mouth and reached for some tea to wash it down.

[bagpipe turtle]

Bagpipe laughed, saying, "Well, it is like a big party, and this tea is good... I wanted to make sure we all get to try some."

She drank some of said tea and surveyed the deck of the ship with a smile.

[mahatista]

"Iroh told me I was supposed to sip it, not gulp it, but these fire flakes are painful! I think he's mad at me." Maha returned the old man's glare. He was raised on fire flakes after all. How about a little sympathy for a flake noob?

[bagpipe turtle]

Bagpipe watched Iroh and Maha's exhange before agreeing in an undertone, "I think it's okay if you gulp it, just do it covertly. Those fire flakes are pretty hot."
She nodded after she finished speaking, drinking more from the cup of tea she was holding.

[Pixar]

Pixar gripped a cup of tea and sipped it elegantly. She leaned over to Bagpipe and Maha, snickering, "That's how you sip tea properly, sillies."

She grabbed a handful of fire flakes and stuffed them in her mouth. "You two are lucky I'm here to show--"

Yikes, those fire flakes WERE hot. She downed the tea in one gulp, steam gushing out of her ears.

"Yowch!"

[mahatista]

Iroh grumbled noisily and turned away.

"How'd you do that thing with your ears?" Maha asked Pixar remembering to raise her pinky as she gulped another cup of tea.

[LiveInThaskyE]

"I'd like to see Pixar do that thing again too, its a seems to be a new type of Firebending," said SkyE after being quietly coming onto the ship by way of the cargo hold.