Post by gambitia on Jul 12, 2006 13:25:46 GMT -5
I am here today to yell at you.
Babbs, Awapuhi, and I had a discussion about what to do about the Relationships Board, and we have come to this conclusion:
We are sick of this. We’re done. The entire staff is sick of this. Everyone I’ve talked to about the Relationships Board is sick of this.
So why isn’t anything changing? We all hate this, so why aren’t we fixing it?
The downward spiral the Relationships Board has been in started after “Cave of Two Lovers.” CoTL aired on March 24, 2006. Please keep that in mind.
After CoTL, everyone ran to their computer to discuss either “OMG!!KATAANG!!CANON!!OMGWTF!!WE WON!!!” or “THEY DIDN’T KISS!!!U CANT PROVE IT!!” or “OMG!!SONGXZUKO!!SONGZUKO!!”
And, of course, the entire thing blew up into a bloody mess that left everyone ticked. The Kataangs went overboard with “We won!! Zutara’s dead!!” threads. The Sokoites screamed their love for their new ship from the rooftops. The Zutarians reacted badly and started pushing. Kataangs and Sokoites pushed back, so Zutara pushed harder, so Kataang and Soko pushed harder, etc, etc.
And we ended up with the Zutarians throwing a hissy fit and leaving, half of the Kataangs ticked off and the other half dancing on the battlefield, and all of the Sokoites ticked.
And for some reason, even though CoTL aired almost FOUR MONTHS AGO we haven’t dealt with the aftermath.
So I tell you all right now: get over it. Drop it. This board is going to stay crappy unless we move past this. Yes, some bad stuff went down after CoTL and everyone’s to blame. Forgive and forget. One episode should not be ruining this forum.
Then there’s the problem of Zutara –vs- Kataang and Maiko and Soko. The fandom spun around and did a 180. Zutarians used to be the kings; they aren’t any more. They were dethroned by the combined debating power of Kataang, Maiko, and Soko. And the Zutarians don’t seem too happy about it. Zutara lost a lot of its good debaters after CoTL, and few Zutarians have stepped up to the plate. Meanwhile, Kataang gained some good debaters, Maiko gained some, and Soko gained some. This led to the current imbalance between Zutarians and non-Zutarians, where it’s 5, 6, 7 non-Zutarians arguing against 1 or 2 lone Zutarians. This leads to both frustrated angry Zutarians and frustrated, over-cocky non-Zutarians.
And of course the non-Zutarians persist in their pre-season 2 behavior. Back when Zutara was king, all the non-Zutarians could do was try to disprove Zutarian theories, and they have continued to do so even though there are virtually no new Zutara theories being pitched. So instead it’s turned to why Zuko and Katara are incompatable at the most basic level, which gets the few remaining Zutarian debaters ticked—and they say as much--, so the non-Zutarians retaliate, and it all turns into a big mess.
So:
Non-Zutarians: discuss theories for your own ships more. Let’s give Zutara a rest for a while.
Zutarians: Don’t fly off the handle whenever someone says Zutara might not happen or starts poking holes in Zutara theories. If you want to be the debate kings again, start debating.
This leads me to my next point: people accuse other people of ship-bashing waaayy to often. And people ship-bash way too often.
So, I present to you a crash course on bashing.
“I’m not big on *insert ship here*, but I can understand why people like them as a couple” – for god’s sake, exalt this person and praise them and tell them what a wonderful person they are. Worship them. If everyone acted like that, the Relationships Board problems would be solved.
“I don’t like *insert ship here*” – Not bashing. A good course of action might be to ask them to extrapolate on why they don’t like *insert ship here*, but when they give you their reasons don’t immediately try to point out why all their reasons for disliking a ship are wrong, unless they say something that is factually incorrect (i.e. saying Mai or Aang do not have crushes on Zuko and Katara respectively).
“I don’t think *insert ship here* will ever happen” –could possibly be bashing. If they back it up with evidence, it’s not bashing. If they don’t, it all depends on their tone. This is the grey area between not bashing and bashing. If they are nice about it, it’s not bashing. If they’re nasty about it, it is bashing and you should ignore them. Use your judgement.
“I hate *insert ship here* and hope it never happens on the show” – mild bashing. Either ask them why or just ignore them. It’s not worth it to start an argument.
“*Insert ship here* sux @$$!! Anyone who ships it is a dumf**k!! MAANG 4EVER!!!” – big bashing. Ignore them ignore them IGNORE THEM and PM a mod/admin to delete their post. Let me say it again: IGNORE THEM! Remember all of the discussions about trolls and what to do about them? Apply those rules here: don’t acknowledge the basher at all, just PM a mod. We have a mighty delete button that fixes everything.
Now, another problem: old grudges and fights between members simply because they don’t like each other. Stop them. Right now. That person ain’t leaving, so unless you want to up and leave the forum you’re both going to run into each other and cause problems. So: kiss and make up. Your personal problems should not detract from other member’s enjoyment of this forum.
And when it finally all comes down to it: be mature. Most of the people on this forum are teenagers or older, and even the few who aren’t have shown a remarkable degree of maturity that I applaud them for. We all know how to be good people. We all know how to be nice, so be nice!
Lastly, be the change you want to see in this forum. Don’t just complain about what’s happening, do something about it. Complaining won’t solve anything. Set an example. Start being the shipper you want others to be. Don’t even try to say that it’s entirely the other ship’s fault; everyone is equally to blame here. Don’t say that you’ll shape up when the other ships shape up: with that attitude, nothing will improve. Be the bigger man/woman. If they mock your ship, take the high road. The Relationships Board does not need to be the bloody mess it is now; many of you remember when it was a genuinely fun place to be. We need everyone’s cooperation to make it a fun place again. People are leaving this forum because of the things going on in the Relationships Board, and that's not okay.
And if you don't, the staff has plans. We're not going to implement them until after "The Fury of Aang" airs, and then only if things keep being crappy here. But I know a lot of you will be unhappy with our ideas, so don't make us use them. Awapuhi's idea goes something along the lines of "Deletion will be their teacher!!" if that gives you any indication of what our ideas are.
So make up, shape up and play nice.
Babbs, Awapuhi, and I had a discussion about what to do about the Relationships Board, and we have come to this conclusion:
We are sick of this. We’re done. The entire staff is sick of this. Everyone I’ve talked to about the Relationships Board is sick of this.
So why isn’t anything changing? We all hate this, so why aren’t we fixing it?
The downward spiral the Relationships Board has been in started after “Cave of Two Lovers.” CoTL aired on March 24, 2006. Please keep that in mind.
After CoTL, everyone ran to their computer to discuss either “OMG!!KATAANG!!CANON!!OMGWTF!!WE WON!!!” or “THEY DIDN’T KISS!!!U CANT PROVE IT!!” or “OMG!!SONGXZUKO!!SONGZUKO!!”
And, of course, the entire thing blew up into a bloody mess that left everyone ticked. The Kataangs went overboard with “We won!! Zutara’s dead!!” threads. The Sokoites screamed their love for their new ship from the rooftops. The Zutarians reacted badly and started pushing. Kataangs and Sokoites pushed back, so Zutara pushed harder, so Kataang and Soko pushed harder, etc, etc.
And we ended up with the Zutarians throwing a hissy fit and leaving, half of the Kataangs ticked off and the other half dancing on the battlefield, and all of the Sokoites ticked.
And for some reason, even though CoTL aired almost FOUR MONTHS AGO we haven’t dealt with the aftermath.
So I tell you all right now: get over it. Drop it. This board is going to stay crappy unless we move past this. Yes, some bad stuff went down after CoTL and everyone’s to blame. Forgive and forget. One episode should not be ruining this forum.
Then there’s the problem of Zutara –vs- Kataang and Maiko and Soko. The fandom spun around and did a 180. Zutarians used to be the kings; they aren’t any more. They were dethroned by the combined debating power of Kataang, Maiko, and Soko. And the Zutarians don’t seem too happy about it. Zutara lost a lot of its good debaters after CoTL, and few Zutarians have stepped up to the plate. Meanwhile, Kataang gained some good debaters, Maiko gained some, and Soko gained some. This led to the current imbalance between Zutarians and non-Zutarians, where it’s 5, 6, 7 non-Zutarians arguing against 1 or 2 lone Zutarians. This leads to both frustrated angry Zutarians and frustrated, over-cocky non-Zutarians.
And of course the non-Zutarians persist in their pre-season 2 behavior. Back when Zutara was king, all the non-Zutarians could do was try to disprove Zutarian theories, and they have continued to do so even though there are virtually no new Zutara theories being pitched. So instead it’s turned to why Zuko and Katara are incompatable at the most basic level, which gets the few remaining Zutarian debaters ticked—and they say as much--, so the non-Zutarians retaliate, and it all turns into a big mess.
So:
Non-Zutarians: discuss theories for your own ships more. Let’s give Zutara a rest for a while.
Zutarians: Don’t fly off the handle whenever someone says Zutara might not happen or starts poking holes in Zutara theories. If you want to be the debate kings again, start debating.
This leads me to my next point: people accuse other people of ship-bashing waaayy to often. And people ship-bash way too often.
So, I present to you a crash course on bashing.
“I’m not big on *insert ship here*, but I can understand why people like them as a couple” – for god’s sake, exalt this person and praise them and tell them what a wonderful person they are. Worship them. If everyone acted like that, the Relationships Board problems would be solved.
“I don’t like *insert ship here*” – Not bashing. A good course of action might be to ask them to extrapolate on why they don’t like *insert ship here*, but when they give you their reasons don’t immediately try to point out why all their reasons for disliking a ship are wrong, unless they say something that is factually incorrect (i.e. saying Mai or Aang do not have crushes on Zuko and Katara respectively).
“I don’t think *insert ship here* will ever happen” –could possibly be bashing. If they back it up with evidence, it’s not bashing. If they don’t, it all depends on their tone. This is the grey area between not bashing and bashing. If they are nice about it, it’s not bashing. If they’re nasty about it, it is bashing and you should ignore them. Use your judgement.
“I hate *insert ship here* and hope it never happens on the show” – mild bashing. Either ask them why or just ignore them. It’s not worth it to start an argument.
“*Insert ship here* sux @$$!! Anyone who ships it is a dumf**k!! MAANG 4EVER!!!” – big bashing. Ignore them ignore them IGNORE THEM and PM a mod/admin to delete their post. Let me say it again: IGNORE THEM! Remember all of the discussions about trolls and what to do about them? Apply those rules here: don’t acknowledge the basher at all, just PM a mod. We have a mighty delete button that fixes everything.
Now, another problem: old grudges and fights between members simply because they don’t like each other. Stop them. Right now. That person ain’t leaving, so unless you want to up and leave the forum you’re both going to run into each other and cause problems. So: kiss and make up. Your personal problems should not detract from other member’s enjoyment of this forum.
And when it finally all comes down to it: be mature. Most of the people on this forum are teenagers or older, and even the few who aren’t have shown a remarkable degree of maturity that I applaud them for. We all know how to be good people. We all know how to be nice, so be nice!
Lastly, be the change you want to see in this forum. Don’t just complain about what’s happening, do something about it. Complaining won’t solve anything. Set an example. Start being the shipper you want others to be. Don’t even try to say that it’s entirely the other ship’s fault; everyone is equally to blame here. Don’t say that you’ll shape up when the other ships shape up: with that attitude, nothing will improve. Be the bigger man/woman. If they mock your ship, take the high road. The Relationships Board does not need to be the bloody mess it is now; many of you remember when it was a genuinely fun place to be. We need everyone’s cooperation to make it a fun place again. People are leaving this forum because of the things going on in the Relationships Board, and that's not okay.
And if you don't, the staff has plans. We're not going to implement them until after "The Fury of Aang" airs, and then only if things keep being crappy here. But I know a lot of you will be unhappy with our ideas, so don't make us use them. Awapuhi's idea goes something along the lines of "Deletion will be their teacher!!" if that gives you any indication of what our ideas are.
So make up, shape up and play nice.
. I'll do my best, too. 
