|
Post by firebender87 on Feb 14, 2007 12:28:22 GMT -5
One by one they treaded through the snow. There feet left inprints of the Firelords eternal conquest.
Mist rose out of there mouths when they exhaled, releasing anguish, happiness, fear, pride, love, vengence and regrets.
Every single soldier had a weary expression on his face. They looked as if apart of them were missing. They had been at war for many years like there fathers and grand fathers before them. They won't be allowed to escape it's tragedies.
It's heart breaking to see these young men like this. Before the war they were ordinary people with hopes and dreams but now they have become something else. Something more than a soldier. Something more than a memeber of the Firenation. Something more than I could have ever imagined.
These young boys have become old men in matter of years. They have seen and done unspeakable things. It will haunt them for the rest of there lives.
Rumors of the avatar's return have raised our hopes if only for a moment...
lieutenant Ajema 2nd Infantry brigade 41st division
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
I have no idea on how this is going to be recieved or even what this is, but I just went with it. Afterwards I came up with this.
|
|
|
Post by firefists101 on Feb 14, 2007 14:50:13 GMT -5
^^sounds cool!
|
|
Ilise
Buzzard Wasp
w00t, it's Jun
Posts: 503
|
Post by Ilise on Feb 14, 2007 21:56:48 GMT -5
I LOVE the basic idea of this- but a few 'there's should be 'their's, and also you should watch your apostrophe usage. It gets mixed up. Just one sentence: They had been a war for many years like there fathers and grand fathers before them. They had been a war? Just asking to clarify what you meant by this sentence. I love the expression and the feeling in this, though.
|
|
|
Post by Sokkaroksya on Feb 15, 2007 0:17:39 GMT -5
Interesting concept. A few grammar mistakes, but ArrowedAvatar pretty much covered that.
|
|
|
Post by firebender87 on Feb 16, 2007 10:56:01 GMT -5
I apologize for the mistakes in this. I just wanted to post this as fast as I could.
|
|
Ilise
Buzzard Wasp
w00t, it's Jun
Posts: 503
|
Post by Ilise on Feb 17, 2007 23:11:03 GMT -5
Haha- I understand, one of those fics fighting to get out, eh? Well, you can go back, modify, and edit the grammar carefully- it'll be really grrrrrrreat once polished up a lil!
|
|