|
Post by Empy on Jun 9, 2008 8:46:41 GMT -5
Well, there are some traits that do indicate slight sueishness IMO. The blindness really makes me think of Toph, that and her high skill level could be a problem to some though it might be more of a factor if she's fairly young as in 15 or younger. I'm not sure if this is explained in your story, but it seems odd to me that a waterbender would know how to teach firebending. Just some things to think about ^^;
|
|
|
Post by beautyfr.pain on Jun 9, 2008 13:15:33 GMT -5
i agree; she basically sounds like a firebending version of toph and being raised by a "wandering waterbending" is a bit far fetched considering that there aren't too many of those around.
|
|
manzai
Toph
Everybody have fun tonight! Everybody Wang Fire tonight!
Posts: 152
|
Post by manzai on Jun 9, 2008 17:21:32 GMT -5
silentxorchestra: Xiu seems fine to me. A coda: You may want to do some research on how much access to literature people had in ancient China. I don't know what it ws like exactly, but I don't think it was free and unlimited like we have today with a public library system. But at the same time, the Avaverse is not exactly like China, so there's some flexability there.
|
|
Tera253
Gran Gran
In Soviet Russia, post writes you
Posts: 588
|
Post by Tera253 on Jun 10, 2008 5:01:44 GMT -5
Well, there are some traits that do indicate slight sueishness IMO. The blindness really makes me think of Toph, that and her high skill level could be a problem to some though it might be more of a factor if she's fairly young as in 15 or younger. I'm not sure if this is explained in your story, but it seems odd to me that a waterbender would know how to teach firebending. Just some things to think about ^^; the fact that she was a waterbender was kinda just a rnadom throw-in... luckily that character is a side character, 'coz I'll openly admit that she would be the perfect MS. but now, the waterbender did not know firebending, but she knew some of the martial arts behind it, and taught Sanaki simply how to move her body in the ways necessary. anyhoot... *shrugs*
|
|
|
Post by Empy on Jun 11, 2008 16:54:53 GMT -5
Well, usually I think it best if one avoids random throw-ins if they are a central or important character to the plot. The lack of thought can create conflicts with continuity or believability later on. Although she is a side-character, she has an immense impact on the story due to the fact that she teaches Sanaki fire-bending. I think the probability that a water-bender would find and care for a fire-bender really depends on the time period. If it is during war time, I find it hard to believe. What also I think should be addressed is how Sanaki has come to be by herself at such a young age and comes across Kai.
If you say that the fact Kai is a waterbender was an after-thought, I really think you should re-evaluate the character as a waterbender. To me, it would be much easier to believe if Kai was from the FN or a traveling Firebender.
|
|
Tera253
Gran Gran
In Soviet Russia, post writes you
Posts: 588
|
Post by Tera253 on Jun 11, 2008 18:27:00 GMT -5
well, it wasnt really during the war-time... well actually, one of the stories was her in with the others, but I tampered with her storyline a little more for that one...
but the concept of a travelling firebender is kinda what I did, just she's a travelling waterbender. and, since the nations were at peace, it wasn't that big of a deal to see the Fire Nation mingling with the others. *winks*
and as far as the actual teachings, Sanaki actually did most of them by herself. Kai (the waterbender) just helped her get some of the martial arts parts down.
but yeah, keep critiquing. it helps me learn how to improve her in the future. *winks*
EDIT: on a side note, I took that quiz, and my score ranged from a 16-19... so, I guess she might be a slightly borderline-ish character.
~Katara~
|
|
|
Post by username on Jul 1, 2008 23:50:52 GMT -5
Criticize the hell out of my OC plz. Name: Nuja Gender: Male Age: 19 Nation: Northern Watertribe Bending: None while the story takes place. I admit the character isn't remarkably quirky, he doesn't have particularly eccentric character traits. For the most part he plays a relatively traditional hero role. However, he is not without significant character flaws. Despite good intentions, he is overly self centered. Not like Veruca Salt or anything, but he mostly cares for himself and rarely does things for others. When he eventually accepts this he is mocked for angsting over an issue that is minor compared to the problems of others, and for thinking that just understanding his flaws is enough without working to solve his problems. So although a likable hero, he still has undesirable aspects. However, by the end of the story he overcomes his flaws, relating to the main theme of the story, which is respecting the beliefs and desires of others. (The theme isn't done in a "lol luv everyone equality" way so much as a criticism of the existence of the Avatar, who's existence forces peace onto the world rather than having people form it for themselves) He has a plot twisty backstory though, which probably sounds really bad in summary form, but I think I can make it work. He was an earthbender and worked for the Dai Li before being willingly brainwashed and sent to the Northern Watertribe to unconsciously complete a mission lololololol what a tweest! (I spoiler tag because I like to trick myself into thinking people might eventually care about my fic and not want to be spoiled)
|
|
Tera253
Gran Gran
In Soviet Russia, post writes you
Posts: 588
|
Post by Tera253 on Jul 3, 2008 18:31:27 GMT -5
well, with that spoiler in mind, that might be a Sueish trait, but I haven't read your fanfic, so I couldn't be able to tell if that was Sueish or not. of course, in my opinion, if there's a good story behind why there's an oddity it can usually avoid the sueishness. just my thoughts on the matter. ~Iroh~
|
|
|
Post by Chibi Chan-o on Jul 3, 2008 22:10:40 GMT -5
Is it possible to have Mary-Sues in original stories (not fanfics)?
I wouldn't see why not but when you're creating your own world, things can be different.
|
|
|
Post by highelemental on Jul 3, 2008 22:32:25 GMT -5
Is it possible to have Mary-Sues in original stories (not fanfics)? Oh yes it is, there's a decent number of them. Most of the time though the execution makes them better, but some are just plain Sues, through and through.
|
|
|
Post by Chibi Chan-o on Jul 3, 2008 22:37:35 GMT -5
It's probably easier to hide Mary Sue-ish characters in your own little world. Now that I think about it, I have seen a few Sues from some series.... but they're made to be likeable and they are put in a much higher role and position.
|
|
|
Post by username on Jul 3, 2008 23:58:20 GMT -5
OCs from original fiction have a bit of an edge over fanfiction OCs, seeing as ff OCs are often viewed skeptically, while in original fiction there is absolutely no stigma attached to OCs. Both are of course capable of being Sues.
|
|
|
Post by dgw2008 on Jul 10, 2008 22:05:20 GMT -5
name: ÌÆȥӮȡ Don Go Won nations: Fire Nation family: Genral Zon Go Won III Jay Si Won, Admiral Zon Go Won II, Uzos Fa Won bender: Fire, lighting eyes: Gold hair: none wears: puffed out brown pants tight boots that go up to the knee height: 6'1 weapon: Dual Dao sabers skill level: High aliases : The Dark King, Monsho Qu flaws: History: Don is the son of Genral Zon Go Won III and grandson of Admiral Zon Go Won II both were persent when [[Zuko]] spoke out of turn and when he was banshed. Growing up he was freinds with Zuko, and is a very skilled firebender. When he was 16 his dad attacked him with a sword and he fought him off but got a scar from the sword over his right eye.
|
|
|
Post by username on Jul 10, 2008 22:10:16 GMT -5
|
|
|
Post by Empy on Jul 10, 2008 22:15:23 GMT -5
Kaneda, please try to add more to your posts ^^;
@dgw- Well, you don't really give too much information about your character. You don't include his age or appearance and so I really can't give you any real comments until you do elaborate and fill out the entire form because, as kaneda noted, you did leave some sections blank ^^;
|
|