kaibasgirl
Ba Sing Se Azula
The Sokkla Addict
Replace ships with fruit and that's exactly what you get.
Posts: 2,772
|
Post by kaibasgirl on Dec 13, 2007 23:10:50 GMT -5
-gives yiceman karma- >________>
You do realize you're setting yourself up for disaster, right?
|
|
yiceman
Bosco
Not all who wander are lost.
Posts: 2,929
|
Post by yiceman on Dec 13, 2007 23:12:55 GMT -5
Yes...PG pictures only, kids ;p
|
|
LiveInThaskyE
The Avatars
The Honorary Zutarian
Black God
Posts: 12,182
|
Post by LiveInThaskyE on Dec 14, 2007 1:27:31 GMT -5
*foresees a million requests for yiceman*
|
|
|
Post by marvel26 on Dec 14, 2007 8:55:02 GMT -5
Here’s the third installment to ‘The Misadventures of Sokkla’.
Yes, this series of random insanity has a title now.
Anywho, spot the movie references if you can. They’re pretty easy to spot.
Act 1: ‘A Word of Brotherly Advice’ page 86 of the previous thread
Act 2: ‘Eat. Drink. Man. Woman’ page 96 of the previous thread
Act 3: ‘Friends and Family’ (Now showing) --------------------------------------------------------------------------------- (Fire Lord’s Throne Room)
Zuko: “Uncle.”
Iroh: “….A little busy. I’ll see you at lunch. How’s that?”
Zuko: “Uncle.”
Iroh: “….When I’m done.”
Zuko: “Uncle.”
Iroh: “….”
Zuko: “Uncle.”
Iroh: “Yes, nephew? What seems to be bothering you?”
Zuko: “A great many things.”
Iroh: “What else is new?”
Zuko: “Excuse me?”
Iroh: “Oh, nothing. Here, let me push aside important matters of state and international goodwill to cater to your psychological needs. Never seemed to matter then and I doubt it will be an issue now.”
Zuko: “Oh, I don’t want to be a bother.”
Iroh: “Okay. Now if you’ll excuse me…”
Zuko: “Uncle…”
Iroh: “Just kiss her already!”
Zuko: “What? Uncle, I…”
Iroh: “This is about Katara. It’s ALWAYS about Katara! By Agni, boy! I had to get you that date with that Jin girl all those years ago, which by the way was a big hint, and now I have to help you play matchmaker with Ambassador Katara? Boy, you’re twenty one! Haven’t you learned anything from me?”
Zuko: “I learned how to re-direct lightning and how to poison someone with tea.”
Iroh: “The first of which I am proud of, the second…not so much. And it’s only YOUR tea. I swear nephew, that vile concoction you sully the good name of Tea with is able to strip the paint off walls and one more thing…”
Zuko: “Okay, okay I get it. I make bad tea. But this isn’t about me!”
Iroh: “That’s a first. Usually it’s ‘I’m confused.’ Or “I’m somewhat confused…”
Zuko: “…may I continue?”
Iroh: “You bothered an old man in the middle of his thoughts, so shut up and let him ramble. Where was I? Oh yes, ‘I’m rather confused.’, ‘I’m very confused.’ And last but not least, ‘I’m angry and so very confused as to why.’”
Zuko: “…Done?”
Iroh: “Young people these days don’t understand the importance of an honest days work. Back in my day we used to hike up…”
Zuko: “Uncle!”
Iroh: “Darn, thought you’d give up when I started on the ‘Old Days’.”
Zuko: “Uncle…it’s about Azula.”
Iroh: “And? She’s been responding well to her rehabilitation. No flash fires and smitings for three months now. I believe she deserves a reward. Maybe we can do without the straight jacket when she’s out of her room….”
Zuko: “Uncle, that’s my point. She’s been…too quiet.”
---------------------------------------------------------------------
(Azula’s cell…I mean suite)
Ty Lee: “Hi Azula!”
Mai: “Hey. Nice straight jacket. Really goes with your eyes.”
Azula: “Oh it’s you two. I’m surprised they let you pass Mai. Can’t you read the ‘No Sharp Pointy Objects’ sign?”
Mai: “Yes. It’s right next to the ‘Don’t Feed the Azula’ sign.”
Ty Lee: “Awww…aren’t you happy to see us? I’m happy to see you!”
Mai: “Ty Lee, you were happy the day you were born. The midwife slapped you to make you cry and you just started giggling instead.”
Ty Lee: “Really?”
Mai: “My mother was the midwife. Your mother went into labor while she was visiting my family. By the way, mother asks if your mom has stopped drinking Cactus Juice during pregnancy or even at all.”
Azula: “That explains so much. So to what do I owe the pleasure of two ladies of the court’s company?”
Mai: “We heard about the ‘Phoenix Rising’ ball.”
Azula: “….Oh.”
Ty Lee: “And we’re not very happy with you right now! That Water Tribe boy was mine! I saw him first!”
Mai: “Ty Lee, please.”
Ty Lee: “Okay, it’s just me, I’m not very happy with you.”
Azula: “Right…him.”
Mai: “We know what the Avatar’s fiancée did to your head rattled a few things loose…well, loose-er. But still…Sokka? Captain Boomerang? ”
Ty Lee: “Cutie tushie. Hunka hunka man meat. Mmmmm…meaty.”
Mai: “Ty Lee, PLEASE.”
Azula: “I…I don’t know what happened exactly. I think he’s always liked me…I guess?”
Mai: “One would think that after imprisoning one’s lover, one would not deign to fall for said lover’s captor.”
Azula: “….”
Ty Lee: “You beat up his girlfriend and made her leave him, so why would he want to play tonsil earth soccer with you? And not me!?”
Azula: “I know. That’s what I don’t get! I mean, I’ve terrorized him, his sister, the Avatar, the Avatar’s woman, Hell I’ve terrorized the world!”
Mai: “….hmmm.”
Ty Lee: “Maybe he likes pain….kinky.”
Azula: “And he’s not afraid of me! Me! Princess Azula! Scourge of a Thousand Men!”
Mai: “That many?”
Azula: “Well, it’s more like ten. Suitors mostly. Made them cry like the little (censored) they were. Ah…good times, good times. A thousand just sounds better.”
Mai: “Let’s get back to the main question here….”
Ty Lee: “Yeah! Was he good?”
Azula: “…eh?”
Ty Lee: “Ya know…Was he…‘good’?”
Azula: “….I…don’t know. I mean I have seen him in the gardens sword fighting with Zuzu. Shirtless and all…”
Ty Lee: “Eeeeeeeeeeee! I WANT YOUR EYES!”
Azula: “Dear Agni and that…ugh…kiss.”
Ty Lee: “AND YOUR TONGUE!”
Azula: “You can have it! He tastes like…meat! I can’t get the taste out of my mouth! It’s disgusting! Oh dear Agni I can taste him still! Right now!”
Mai: “Ty Lee. Ty Lee, breathe. BREATHE! Oh I know you did that on purpose, Azula.”
Azula: “What? I was telling the truth.”
----------------------------------------------------------------------
(On board an Earth Kingdom naval frigate)
Sokka: “Dear…Azula…how’s…things?...nah. Oh light of my life… I feel that I…I..need? Hmmm… Hey Haru!”
Haru: “Yeah?”
Sokka: “What’s a good word for ‘Need’?”
Haru: “Need’s a good word. Are you still going for that nutty Princess?”
Sokka: “She’s not nutty. She’s free of mind. And yes, I’m still planning on woo-ing her once we get to the Fire Nation.”
Haru: “Why?”
Sokka: “It’s called love Haru. It just happens. Which, in your case, never will. Good grief man, shave that thing off your face. You’ll never get a girl with that.”
Haru: “Why not? I happen to think it makes me look distinguished.”
Sokka: “Keyword here, ‘THINK’. Which is far different from the word and concept ‘RE-A-LI-TY’. Women like a clean shaven man. Stubble is trouble, my friend.”
Haru: “I’m sure that when they told the tales of the great battle that ended the war, I would be known as the distinguished looking one as opposed to you, the scruffy looking one. I’m sure they’ve heard of Captain Haru of the Earth King’s Navy.”
Sokka: “Haru, all the women we’ve met have no interest in you whatsoever. My sister’s got some weird ‘Are we or are we not?’ thing going on with Princess Mama’s Boy, you dropped the ball there buddy. And Toph’s got Aang…may he live long enough to repopulate the Air Nomads. Not to mention what the women we bump into say.”
Haru: “Ah. But they have heard of me.”
Sokka: “…Yes Haru. All good things. Just get us there.”
Haru: “I do have better things to do on my vacation, savvy?”
Sokka: “Yeah, yeah. Your ship, your rules.”
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Zuko: “I’m sure she’s plotting something Uncle. She’s Azula. She’s always plotting.”
Iroh: “Zuko.”
Zuko: “Yes Uncle?”
Iroh: “Has it even occurred to you as to why Azula’s been so docile lately?”
Zuko: “…Have...have you been drugging her tea?”
Iroh: “No! Of course not! She’s my niece! And the only tea I’ve been lacing with aphrodisiacs are yours, because Agni forbid, you don’t be a man and do the right thing and take Katara to be your lawful wedded wife and having a veritable litter of grandchildren for your mother to spoil and that I can finally hand this blasted crown and all it’s political baggage over to you!”
Zuko: “You’ve been lacing my tea?”
Iroh: “Yes, nephew. I have. If you can’t get the courage to…”
Zuko: “No…I mean…Uncle. I hate tea. I always pour it away or just give it to…oh dear.”
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Toph: “Twinkles?”
Aang: “Hmmm?”
Toph: “I don’t know much about Sky Bisons…but should Appa be doing that to a tree?”
------------------------------------------------------------------------- Zuko: “Anyway, she has to be plotting Uncle. Why else is Azula ever quiet? Something’s going on in that sick twisted mind of hers. I don’t want to find out with a sword in my back!”
Iroh: “Caution is a trait most useful in politics, nephew. Commendable. But not in this case. Think back, when did Azula start, as you say, ‘plotting’?”
Zuko: “Well, she got all quiet and scheming AS USUAL right after the Phoenix Rising event. I fail to see…oh no.”
Ursa: “Oh yes.”
Zuko: “Mom?”
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sokka: “I need your comments on this. I wrote this for Azula. I think it’ll win her over.”
Haru: “Sokka, last I heard, the last contact you had with her involved you eating her face as if you had pentapox and she had the cure hidden in the back of her throat. Isn’t that enough?”
Sokka: “Oh Azula’s different. She won’t fall just for that. She’s high class. She’s royalty. She’s distinguished.”
Haru: “And you’re…you. Well, maybe she’d appreciate a well groomed moustache and beard.”
Sokka: “Future Joint Chief of the Water Union, thank you very much. Now shut up and listen. You can sing along if you know the tune. Ahem.”
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hey there Azula You’re so pretty and so witty You look so hot when you bag and drown a thousand kitties Yes you do My sword can’t be as sharp as you I swear it's true.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Zuko: “Mom?”
Ursa: “Yes Zuko. I’m just as surprised as you. I never thought I’d see the day my little Zula would get a man. What’s this I hear about you two burning down Admiral Zheng’s house when you were teens?”
Iroh: “Yes. Disgraceful behaviour”
Zuko: “But mom. It’s Azula…and…him.”
Ursa: “The way I see it, one way or another, the two of you would be brother-in-laws.”
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hey there Azula Bought a diamond for a pittance Man, it shines so darn bright looks like the sun from a far distance Just like your eyes Not cold and dead like your friend Mai’s Really not like Mai’s
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Azula: “Wow. Ty Lee’s really out cold.”
Mai: “Azula…are you…attracted to Sokka?”
Azula: “What?! No! Don’t be preposterous! Ewww! The very thought makes my skin crawl!” --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Oh please burn your flame for me Oh please burn your flame for me Oh please burn your flame for me Oh please burn your flame for me Burn your flame for me
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sokka: “Not bad huh?”
Haru: “The part about the thousand drowning cats is very true. It’s the sound of your singing!”
Sokka: “Shut up, there’s more.”
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hey there Azula Our love will be pretty tough But I’m sure we’ll stick it out And I assure you I like it rough It’ll be so good You like whips and I like food Oh so good
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Azula: “He’s so…him.”
Mai: “Oh Agni. You are falling for him.”
Azula: “I’m supposed to take advice from the woman whose man skipped out on her for a water tribe witch?”
Mai: “Azula. We both know your brother’s no man.”
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Zuko: “You’re letting this happen?”
Ursa: “Azula’s happiness is all that I want. I blame myself. I spent too much time with you. Azula thinks I hate her.”
Zuko: “Mom we all hate her.”
Iroh: “Ambassador Sokka believes otherwise.”
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hey there Azula When we meet we could play all the lovely music in the world which just takes my breath away My lungs would fail Like one of Zuko’s plans to get Aang They’d just plain fail
Oh please burn your flame for me Oh please burn your flame for me Oh please burn your flame for me Oh please burn your flame for me
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Azula: “I can’t like that water barbarian! I cannot!”
Mai: “Azula, you’re in the stage of denial.”
Azula: “Maybe I’m drugged. Yes, yes. I am drugged. Uncle must be slipping some weird drug to….or it was the kiss! Yes the kiss! His lips must have been laced with some kind of mind poison! He’s trying to destroy my mind as revenge!”
Ty Lee: “Wha?”
Mai: “Azula, you can’t be serious.”
Azula: “I don’t know. I’m so confu…oh crap. I sound like Zuzu!”
Ty Lee: “Who sounds like what?”
Mai: “Azula’s...actually…in love.”
Ty Lee: “Ooooh! With who?”
Mai: “Sokka.”
Ty Lee: “…Oh.”
Azula: “You can have him Ty Lee! I don’t want him! You can have him! Him and his boomerang for a brain! His sweaty hard abs makes me hurl! His totally tug-able pony tail makes my bile rise! His ocean blue eyes make me sea sick! His strong arms hold me tight against his firm body while kissing me with those soft silky lips, running his tongue past my teeth and wrestling with mine, battling for dominance….makes…me…”
Mai: “Azula? Azula!”
Azula: “……Makes…me…”
Ty Lee: “Azula?”
Mai: “Let’s go Ty Lee.”
Ty Lee: “No! She was just getting to the good part!”
Azula: “….oooooh….”
Mai: “Now, Ty Lee.”
Ty Lee: “I never have any fun!”
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
You once tried to kill the Avatar And me, my sis and that emo with the scar The man who’d reject you must be gay And you’d laugh before turning him to dust I’ve had girls whom I’ve hsared love and lust That none of them made me feel this way Azula I can promise you That by the time we get through The world will never ever be the same And it’s all due to your flame
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ursa: “Zuko, why aren’t you happy your sister’s on her way to leading a good life?”
Zuko: “It’s not that…well it is. But mostly because…if they get married…”
Ursa: “I know. I understand.”
Zuko: “You do? I was worried that that might make Katara and I related to a degree that I couldn’t…”
Ursa: “Grandchildren! I’ve seen Ambassador Sokka. Fine young man. The two of them would have beautiful babies!”
Iroh: “Indeed.”
Zuko: “You two haven’t heard a word I said have you?”
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hey there Azula Please be sane and try not to kill me Few more miles and I’ll be right next to you And far from my friend named Due He’s from the swamp the water’s spew We can do whatever we want to Hey there Azula here's to you Meat’s fun to chew
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Haru: “Meat’s fun to chew?”
Sokka: “Had to find something that rhymed!”
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Oh please burn your flame for me Oh please burn your flame for me Oh please burn your flame for me Oh please burn your flame for me
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Azula: “Me. And him. Him. And me. Dear Agni, that’s twisted…even for me.”
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Burn your flame for me
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Azula: “Twisted…and oh so naughty….mmmm….I wonder…”
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Mysterious Figure #1: “Are the preparations…prepared?” Mysterious Figure #2: “Yes.”
Mysterious Figure #1: “Then ready yourself my apprentice. Our time has come.”
Mysterious Figure #2: “At last, we will reveal ourselves. At last, we will have our revenge.”
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Fin?
Not as funny. I apologise.
|
|
daydream11
penguin
"I love you, Bolin! AHHHHH!!!"
Posts: 2
|
Post by daydream11 on Dec 14, 2007 13:28:20 GMT -5
Yiceman, you continue to amaze me! You're a closet Sokkla shipper, huh? ;D
Lolz... Marvel. You can't help but feel bad for Zuzu.
|
|
kaibasgirl
Ba Sing Se Azula
The Sokkla Addict
Replace ships with fruit and that's exactly what you get.
Posts: 2,772
|
Post by kaibasgirl on Dec 14, 2007 14:15:21 GMT -5
Not as funny marvel? The heck with funny, that was FANTASTIC!!! I absolutely loved that! Haha, Sokka's poetry skills pwn all! Ty Lee, hahahahaha, sorry girl, maybe you can have Haru. He's sensative, right? XD
-gives marvel 3 karma-
|
|
|
Post by K9Thefirst1 on Dec 14, 2007 16:08:17 GMT -5
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! THAT WAS HILARIOUS!!!!!! AHAHAHA!!!!!!
Let's see, I saw Pirates of The Caribbean-that one was to obvious- and there was also the Phantom Menace.
One of the things that made me laugh out loud was the part with the aphrodisiac laced tea and Appa...
.......You do realize that us over at the Taang Mansion will be expecting one where Zuko accidentally gives Toph his Uncle's "Special Brew".
|
|
ethe
Haru
The Mythological Being
Posts: 335
|
Post by ethe on Dec 14, 2007 22:54:32 GMT -5
lol! XD That was funny I especially loved the poems, that so sounds like what Sokka'd say~ Hey there Azula Our love will be pretty tough But I’m sure we’ll stick it out And I assure you I like it rough It’ll be so good You like whips and I like food Oh so goodLulz I bet it would be xD Mysterious Figure #1: “Are the preparations…prepared?”that had me loling, haha.
|
|
|
Post by marvel26 on Dec 14, 2007 23:03:36 GMT -5
lol! XD That was funny I especially loved the poems, that so sounds like what Sokka'd say~ Hey there Azula Our love will be pretty tough But I’m sure we’ll stick it out And I assure you I like it rough It’ll be so good You like whips and I like food Oh so goodLulz I bet it would be xD Mysterious Figure #1: “Are the preparations…prepared?”that had me loling, haha. Oh no, that's not a poem. I parodied 'Hey There Delilah' by the Plain White T's. I was running out of brain juice near the end hence the lame joke.
|
|
MsJimmy
Refugee Aang
*drok**punk**highfive*
Posts: 4,630
|
Post by MsJimmy on Dec 15, 2007 3:28:29 GMT -5
Gah! I love that picture you drew Yiceman! *gives Karma* *bribe*Man, you can write, you can draw. What else can you do Yiceman lol, I'm jealous Yes...PG pictures only, kids ;p Let's see.... I'm extremely tired, so I can't think of anything... but I'll get back to you on that =P
|
|
yiceman
Bosco
Not all who wander are lost.
Posts: 2,929
|
Post by yiceman on Dec 15, 2007 4:12:48 GMT -5
^I know kung fu.
|
|
MsJimmy
Refugee Aang
*drok**punk**highfive*
Posts: 4,630
|
Post by MsJimmy on Dec 15, 2007 4:50:35 GMT -5
Dang, nice. Me too, a few belts ^^
|
|
yiceman
Bosco
Not all who wander are lost.
Posts: 2,929
|
Post by yiceman on Dec 15, 2007 4:58:59 GMT -5
I bet I could take you. A clean bout of fisticuffs is a fine sport.
|
|
|
Post by marvel26 on Dec 15, 2007 12:55:58 GMT -5
‘The Misadventures of Sokkla’
Act 4: Peyote Ugly
Catch the video game reference as well as a reference to a cast member’s career. Plus a Loony Tunes and Police Academy reference.
--------------------------------------------------
(Fire Nation Water Union Embassy)
Katara: “Good morning Ming.”
Ming: “Good morning Ambassador Katara.”
Katara: “What’s on today’s list of chores from Hell? I’m even afraid to ask.”
Ming: “One would hardly call caring for the well being of your fellow Water citizens a chore Ma’am.”
Katara: “I swear if I get one more petition about the heat….Hello? This is the Fire Nation! It’s supposed to be hot! Sometimes I wish I swapped with Sokka. Ambassador to the Earth Kingdom sounds better and better by the day. At least I’d get to visit Aang and Toph.”
Ming: “Yes but you wouldn’t be working closely with his majesty the prince now would you? I do believe the Earth King’s a little old for you.”
Katara: “Ming! Hush!”
Ming: “And speaking of your brother…”
---------------------------------------------------------
(Capitol City Port, Three Hours Ago)
Haru: “Thanks for the lift Captain Feng. Give my regards to the missus.”
Sokka: “Can you believe this? Since when did the Emo formerly known as Zuko start a customs check?”
Haru: “It’s pretty standard practice in every nation. No one wants any exotic pests or diseases. Smuggling’s a problem too.”
Sokka: “Well we don’t have it back home.”
Haru: “That’s because you live on an ice cube. I’m pretty sure most non polar animals die in the cold. And it’s kinda hard to hide Earth Kingdom Green and Fire Nation Red stuff in a land of white frozen water.”
Female Customs Officer: “Next!”
Sokka: “Finally.”
F.C.O: “Business or pleasure?”
Sokka: “Well, pleasure is my business. If ya catch my drift.”
F.C.O: “Sir, this is the Fire Nation. Land of burning hot days and sweltering nights. Our sense of humor shriveled up and died years ago. Business or pleasure?”
Haru: “Must you flirt with every woman you see? What about the Princess?”
Sokka: “I am not flirting. I’m merely engaging in conversation with the lady over here.”
F.C.O: “Sir, you’re holding up the line.”
Haru: “Sorry. We’re here on business.”
F.C.O: “Any fruits, vegetables, flesh eating diseases, absurdly large animals, annoying aerokinetic Avatars and/or other contraband you wish to declare?”
Haru: “Yes. One head of cabbage right here.”
Sokka: “Hey! A very good looking head of cabbage! Thank you very much!”
Another Customs Officer: “Psst…..”
F.C.O: “Okay….I…see. Sir, would you mind stepping over here please?”
Haru: “Me?”
F.C.O: “No, you’re good. It’s him.”
Sokka: “Me?”
F.C.O: “Yes Sir. Please step out of line and over here.”
Sokka: “That was a good chance to do an Echo joke you know. You missed out on a classic. Ya know, he said ‘Me?’ and then I said ‘Me?’ and you could have said, ‘Is there an Echo in here?’ Get it? Get it?”
F.C.O: “….”
Sokka: “Whooo. Tough room.”
Haru: “I think you should just go get this over and done with. I’ll be waiting at that bar over there.”
F.C.O: “Sir, are you currently under any sort of medication? Do you have contraband on you?”
Sokka: “No. Why?”
F.C.O: “New policy.”
Sokka: “What policy?”
F.C.O: “That one with your picture.”
Sokka: “All officers to detain and strip search this individual. Under suspicion of possession of Cactus Juice with intent to consume, make a general nuisance of himself and/or otherwise really mess up my day. By order of Prince Zuko. What?!”
F.C.O: “Sir, I’ll need you to walk this line for me.”
Sokka: “I am not drunk!”
F.C.O: “Sir, the attitude is not helping one bit.”
Sokka: “Scar-faced jerk! When I get my hands on him!”
F.C.O: “Sir, it is a class three felony to threaten any member of the royal family. I’m going to have to ask you to get down on the ground.”
Sokka: “This is crazy!”
F.C.O: “Oh we’ve got a live one here.”
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Katara: “So he’s in jail now?”
Ming: “Yes. Once they were done with the standard questions and body search.”
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
F.C.O: “This is Brutus. He’ll be performing your strip and body cavity search. I’d have done it, but you know, sexual harassment and all that.”
Sokka: “Hey I have rights! I know my riiiiiiiiiights! COLD! Cold hands! Special place! Special place!”
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Katara: “What’s he doing here? He’s supposed to be at Ba Sing Se.”
Ming: “He came over with a Captain Haru. Vacation it seems.”
Katara: “Well, at least one of them’s got a level head.”
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Woman #1: “His hair is sooooo sexy!”
Woman #2: “Oooh I just love that sexy little goatee!”
Haru: “Ladies! Ladies! Please! One at a time. First I need names and…Barkeep! I need shots!”
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Katara: “Bail?”
Ming: “Bail.”
Katara: “Well, I seem to have misplaced my money pouch. Guess I’ll have to go all the way back to the apartment to get it and then over to the city jail. It’ll be what? Two? Three hours?”
Ming: “Road works Ambassador. Might take longer.”
Katara: “Sokka’s tough. He’s a warrior.”
Ming: “War hero.”
Katara: “Embarrass me in front of Zuko will he? Hmph.”
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Brutus: “There. Done. Bail paid. You go now.”
Sokka: “What? No post search snuggle?”
Brutus: “If you want…”
Sokka: “Sarcasm! Sarcasm! Read a dictionary!”
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
(Azula’s room)
Azula: “Estuans interius ira vehementi. Estuans interius ira vehementi. Oh hello Zuzu. So nice of you to visit your sad, lonely little sister.”
Zuko: “What’s your angle?”
Azula: “What? No hug?”
Zuko: “I know you’re plotting something.”
Azula: “I just got the straightjacket taken off and no hug?”
Zuko: “Uncle and Mom think that it’s wonderful that you’ve found a…man.”
Azula: “Come on. Hugs.”
Zuko: “You’re not fooling me.”
Azula: “It’s good for both of us. My doctor says I need familial contact and your shrink says you need positive re-enforcement. Come on then.”
Zuko: “I’ll be watching you.”
Azula: “Zuzu! I’m your sister!”
Zuko: “You know what I mean!”
Azula: “First off, I’m not plotting anything. I know, hard to believe isn’t it? I’m not convinced myself. Second, I don’t have a man. Men don’t like me. Men wet their pants in my presence. YOU wet your pants in my presence.”
Zuko: “We all saw what happened at…”
Azula: “He attacked me! I was violated! My personal borders were illegally crossed! As my big brother, it is your duty to defend my purity!”
Zuko: “…you wrestled him over the buffet table, pinned him and shouted, ‘Whose your mommy?’”
Azula: “I was heavily medicated at the time!”
Zuko: “Sooo this isn’t a plot to reek havoc and general mayhem?”
Azula: “Oh please Zuzu, stop being so paranoid. I swear all those Viper-Bat Man picture books you read when you were younger have warped your mind.”
Zuko: “Graphic novels! The correct term is GRAPHIC NOVELS!”
Azula: “Yes, I’m sure they are. You once scared yourself so bad that you thought father was the villain from the books…what was his name? The Jester?”
Zuko: “Father had a creepy laugh….”
Azula: “Awww…poor Zuzu. All scared and lonely and no water bender to mommy his emo pain away. Well, you go cry emo boy. Me? I’ve got a whole day to start.”
Zuko: “Where’re you going? You know you’re not supposed to leave the Palace grounds and have you taken your pills? We know you’ve been dumping them in the pond. Turtle-ducks aren’t capable of smiling and yet they are.”
Azula: “Oh so now you’re all big brother on me. If it soothes your scarred head, Mai and Ty Lee are taking me window shopping. And yes, Uncle and Mom know. In fact they made Mai and Ty Lee take me out. Well, Ty Lee didn’t need convincing and you’d never guess that Mai has a fear of people who work retail.”
Zuko: “…Mai has a fear of sales people?”
Azula: “Says they remind her of those creepy Joo Dee women back in Ba Sing Se.”
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Aang: “Hi there! I’m kinda looking for a birthday present for my fiancée. I should know what to get her, since I am going to marry her and she is the love of my life, but I want to get her something special this time round. Maybe something to remind her about the good times we had while the war was still on. She’s an Earth Bender if that helps.”
Joo Dee #45: “There is no war in Ba Sing Se. All is well.”
Aang: “Yeah I know. I stopped it.”
JD#45: “But there is no war to be stopped in Ba Sing Se. All is well. And might this unit recommend a nice set of women’s perfume in crystal bottles? Stylish and scented.”
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Zuko: “Don’t change the subject! I’ll be watching you Zula. One step back. One slip up. And you won’t have to worry about your destiny anymore. I’ll end it right here. Permanently.”
Azula: “….what in great grand daddy Souzin’s name, are you babbling about?”
Zuko: “…it sounded so much more threatening when she said it…”
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
(The Blue Oyster Bar)
Haru: “Ladies…ladies…of course it’s real. Here touch it.”
Women: “Ooooh”
Sokka: “HARU!”
Woman #3: “Oooh a new man.”
Woman #1: “And a looker too. Care to introduce us to your friend Captain?”
Haru: “No one, he's no one... distant cousin of my aunt's nephew, twice removed... lovely singing voice though….Eunuch.”
Woman #4: “Hmmm…doesn’t look like one. What’s your name big boy?”
Sokka: “Umm…Sokka.”
Woman #5: “Ooh and such a manly swagger.”
Sokka: “Hurts too….”
Woman #3: “What was that, love?”
Sokka: “Nothing. Ladies, if you’ll excuse us.”
Haru: “Hey I’m not done with my drink.”
Sokka: “We are leaving. Now.”
Haru: “Ah crap. Bye ladies!”
Women: “Bye Captain Haru!”
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Woman #4: “What a shame.”
Woman #2: “Whatever for?”
Woman #4: “It’s so obvious they’re…ya know…together.”
Woman #1: “Now that’s hot.”
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Haru: “Why’d you do that for?! They liked my moustache! They found my goatee sexy!”
Sokka: “You’re drunk. No one finds your facial hair remotely alluring.”
Haru: “That’s because you’re a man, you’re jealous that you can’t grow such fine facial follicles and sorry I don’t swing that way. Flattered though.”
Sokka: “Haru, some of those ‘women’ had hair of their own.”
Haru: “What? Are you the only one allowed to mingle with the ladies? Is only the great Sokka deemed worthy enough by the spirits to grace all womenkind with his presence?”
Sokka: “I just spent three hours playing ‘Keep Away’ with a guy with cold hands named Brutus. I’m tried, violated and oddly intrigued but mostly just tried and violated. Now let’s just find the Embassy and crash at Katara’s place for the night. Then tomorrow we’ll go the palace and I can start my courting of Azula. And this whole misstep in planning will be forgotten with me and my loving wife, watching our children play in the snow from our nice little igloo. Right after I kill my future brother-in-law.”
Haru: “Niiiice. I think I’ll go puke now.”
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Jailer: “You sure you don’t want to talk to him?”
Katara: “Knowing my brother, the next words that’ll come out of his mouth when he gets out will just land him right back in there. If he asks, just say his sister did it and yes he can stay at my place for the night.”
Jailer: “Will do, Lady Katara.”
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Mai: “This is boring.”
Azula: “Everything’s boring to you Mai. Has been for years. So what’s new?”
Mai: “Other than my seething hatred for Ambassador Katara for taking Zuko away?”
Azula: “No, that one we all know.”
Mai: “Then same old same old I suppose.”
Ty Lee: “They have a sale on shoes! Oooooh! Canwecanwecanwecanwe?”
Mai: “Ty Lee, you have only two feet. How many shoes do you need?”
Ty Lee: “Wait, I know this. This is a trick question right? Answer’s forty-two. Right?”
Mai: “……”
Azula: “Hey, isn’t that…why yes it is. Oh Lady Katara!”
Katara: “(Censored)! Oh hello Princess.”
Mai: “Katara.”
Katara: “Mai.”
Mai: “……..”
Katara: “……”
Azula: “My, such scintillating repartee.”
Ty Lee: “Whatcha doing Katara? We’re shopping, wanna join us?”
Katara: “Oh, I’m sorry. I’ve a ton of things to settle back at the Embassy…”
Mai: “It’s considered a great insult to the royal family to disincline to acquiesce to their request.”
Ty Lee: “But I’m not a royal…”
Katara: “….Yes, I am sorry but…”
Azula: “But nothing. I know about your workload and its stuff Zuzu should handle, not you. I mean, if the Water folk need a water source for bending, you just need to file in the request and Zuzu should take care of the rest. You don’t have to chase after contractors and get zoning permits.”
Katara: “…wait…how’d you know about that?”
Azula: “I have my ways.”
-------------------------------------------------------
Azula: “Excellent. You’ve done well my loyal minion.”
Hawky: “…….”
Azula: “Yes, yes. You’ll be paid your weight in field mice.”
Hawky: “…….”
Azula: “No, you can’t have Ba Sing Se when I’ve taken complete control of the world. Then where would I put my collection of burnt Earth Kingdom dolls?”
----------------------------------------------------------
Azula: “I have reliable sources.”
Katara: “Riiiight. I’m sorry but I can’t stay. I just got back from the city jail after bailing my brother out…”
Ty Lee: “Cute buns is here? In jail? I told the city guard to tell me if they ever arrested him! I wanted to do the body search!”
Katara: “…..Yes. I see.
Azula: “Your brother.”
Katara: “Yes.”
Azula: “Is here.”
Katara: “Yes. Darn inconsiderate of him not to send me a letter first. Not to mention getting himself arrested on the charge of threatening the Royal family.”
Azula: “Your brother is here.”
Katara: “Is there an echo? Yes, he’s here. In this nation. In this city. Most probably on his way waist deep into Hippo-Cow crap full of trouble. I don’t know what you see in him Princess.”
Azula: “......” ------------------------------------------------------------------------
(The Lady Dowager’s Chambers)
Ursa: “Zuko. Stop pacing. Azula will be fine.”
Zuko: “No mother. She isn’t fine. She hasn’t been since you said father dropped her on her head when she was baby.”
Ursa: “I can hold her, he said. I’ve held Zuko, he said.”
Zuko: “Point is: I don’t fully trust her. I’m worried that she might try something.”
Ursa: “Try what?”
Zuko: “Anything! I dunno! Start a riot! Burn down an orphanage! Steal candy from a baby! I dunno!”
Ursa: “Zuko. Breathe. Calm down. Remember the last time you got too worked up.”
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Zuko: “I’m telling you! That toad sang!”
Sokka: “Riiiight. And Momo and Appa are swordmasters.”
Toph: “Either he’s telling the truth…or he’s so crazy he thinks he’s telling the truth.”
Zuko: “Sing toad! I know you can sing!”
Aang: “It’s okay Zuko. I’ve had hallucinations too.”
Katara: “Get some sleep Zuko. Let’s go guys.”
Toad: “Hello my baby! Hello my darling! Hello my ragtime gal!”
Zuko: “Wait! It sang again!”
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Zuko: “But it really did sing.”
Ursa: “Yes, honey. I’m sure it did.”
End.
It’s 2 am and I’m starting to see singing frogs.
|
|
kaibasgirl
Ba Sing Se Azula
The Sokkla Addict
Replace ships with fruit and that's exactly what you get.
Posts: 2,772
|
Post by kaibasgirl on Dec 15, 2007 20:22:02 GMT -5
Oh man, I'm going to have to start saving these to my hardrive! That was hilarious!
Ty Lee...strip-searching Sokka...oh the horror XXXXXDDDDDDDROFL!!!! Sokka, I hope you realize you've been spared by marvel! XXXXDDDD!
Oh, that gave me such amusement!
And it's "The Joker" Azula! XD
Okay, so references...
I only picked up two or three. There was Katara's line from WAT, Batman (who's VA for Joker is the same as Ozai), and the singing frog from Looney Toons.
Ooooh, guys, guess what? The sokkla100 comm is almost ready to be opened up on LJ! ^__^
Just have to put the finishing touches on the profile, and figure out a few things with cat and daydream, but otherwise, get your drabbles ready, cause we'll be cutting the ribbon on it by the end of this week (or sooner, hopefully!)
|
|