Post by namesareuseless on Oct 13, 2008 5:23:54 GMT -5
Ok ... so this isn't the REAL script to the Live Action Movie. Just PRETEND it is ... er, well, lets pray that this ISN'T it. Could this be a script from another dimension? Could be. Would be fair game for parody on the Satellite of Love for sure.
Oh, and I should warn you the PG-13 is for language and sometimes obscure movie references. I've mainly bl***ed out the bad words (<-- like that), but no hints for movie references for you!
Anyways, I give you ...
The Live Action Movie Script
[shadow=red,left,300]LEAKED![/shadow][/b][/size](not really)
[/center]
Directed by: M. Night Shyamalamalama-ding-dong
Starring ...
Christopher Walken as................The Narrator
Shia LaDouche (LaBeouf) as.........Avatar Aang
Sir Ian McKellen as.....................Monk Gyatso
Sean Connery as........................Wise OLD Monk
YOU CAN’T HANDLE THE TRUTH of the rest of the cast … yet!
_________________________________________________________________________
NARRATOR (as Christopher Walken): Once upon a time ... theres this ... little bald-haired ... kid, with arrows ... all over ... the d*** place. And he can fly around on some ... buffalo or something. And he has to save the world … from some people. And there’s all these other ... arrow guys … just like him … in some temple somewheres.
MONK GYATSO (as Sir Ian McKellen): Aang … Aang …
Nudges AANG out of bed.
AANG (starring Shia LaBeouf): W-w-what time is it?
MONK GYATSO: You’re in the Southern Air Temple. And its 5 o’clock in the morning, on November the 3rd if you want to …
AANG: I-i-is it r-really necessary for you t-to do that e-e-every morning … i-i-is it really necessary t-t-to …
MONK GYATSO: And is it really necessary for you to stutter and repeat yourself every f***ing 5 seconds!?
Awkward silence.
MONK GYATSO: That’s what I thought. Now Aang, it’s time that you practice your advanced airbending … What with you being the Avatar and all.
AANG: W-w-what was that?
MONK GYATASO: Nothing Aang, nothing. Now I want you to breathe in deep. GYATSO Breathes in through his nose. And out …
AANG: Oh no-no-no-no, I-i-i-i can’t, y-y-you see I-- …
MONK GYATSO: Oh really?
AANG: Y-y-yeah really.
MONK GYATSO: No wa--. Just do it.
AANG: F-f-fine. I-i-i’ll just breathe in, l-l-l-like this. You know, j-j-just like you were d-d-doing. A-a-and then I’ll bre—
MONK GYATSO: TODAY!
Aang poises himself ready.
AANG: Oh-my-god oh-my-god oh-my-god oh-my-god …
NARRATOR: But the little … bald head kid … was breathing in too deep … that his face and all was all blue and stuff … kinda like that creepy arrow on his d*** head.
MONK GYATSO: NO YOU FOOL! NOT THAT MUCH!
NARRATOR: He breathed out so much … that it blew a hole in the wall … or somesuch thing … like that.
AANG: I-i-i’m sorry. I-i-i was just, doing what you were doing. You know, l-l-like this …
NARRATOR: Monk Gestapo … wasn’t too pleased with … that kid. After hitting him … on his head … so d*** much … the f****ing arrow was turning … even more blue … or something … And then they went … to see more bald guys … all sitting around the … place.
WISE OLD MONK (guest starred by Sean Connery): Monk, Wise Old Monk … … … That doesn’t work so well, now does it?
MONK GYATSO: Not really.
AANG: I-i-i think it’s …
WISE OLD MONK: Shut up and sit down boy.
NARRATOR: And so he … sat down … all bhudda like or some such. And a bunch of wooden, old, brown toy … things … were rolled out in front of him.
WISE OLD MONK: Pick one. And just one.
AANG: Oh-h-h-h I like this one. Th-th-th-this ones v-v-very good. Oh-h-h now this one, is shaped like a p-p-pony I think. B-b-b-but THIS one …
WISE OLD MONK: How do you shut him up?
GYATSO whacks AANG on the head, again.
AANG: Ok-ok-ok-ok this one.
It sparkles. It’s a kung-fu action Jesus doll (of course).
MONK GYATSO: Figures. But is this really a good way to find out the truth wise old monk?
WISE OLD MONK: You call it luck. I call it destiny.
AANG: D-d-destiny?
WISE OLD MONK: From the dawn of time, down through the centuries, the Avatar has lived many secret lives, struggling to …
MONK GYATSO: Spare us your narration! That’s HIS job.
NARRATOR: Yeah … that’s all, my job … you moron.
AANG: W-w-w-wait, I-i-i-i’m the Avatar? Like, THE Avatar? Th-th-the guy that always “saves th-the day” Avatar.
MONK GYATSO: Duh!
AANG: W-weren’t you supposed to wait for my 16th birthday. Y-y-you know, when I-i-i’m older a-a-and more mature a-a-and …
MONK GYATSO: Look, the Fire Nation is gonna bomb us like Hiroshima in a day and we need you to go all glowy. By the way you’re 22.
AANG: Who-what-when-where-why-how?
MONK GYATSO: Prepare for battle!
NARRATOR: Yeah … I didn’t explain the Fairy Nation … too well. But just know they’re all … bad and some such thing.
AANG: Ohmygod ohmygod ohmygod Idon’tknowwaterearthorfirebending I’llmakeaterribleavatar AndItalkwaytoofast.
NARRATOR: Shabang was … not doing so good … and was all, freaking out … and … and … such. He was gonna … run away … and never come back … to that place … where he’s at.
AANG: I-i-i am?
NARRATOR: Hell, I don’t know.
AANG: Sounds g-g-good to me. Appa!
NARRATOR: And he called his … hovering manatee ox … and it came to him … and he got on the … thing.
APPA: Yippie-yi-yo-ki-kay yay mother f***er!
NARRATOR: It wasn’t a fan of Bruce Willis movies … and began to fly all over … the … d*** place … and tried drowning itself.
AANG: Ohmigod ohmigod gonnadrown gonnadrown …
WISE OLD MONK (off-screen): You can't drown, you fool. You're immortal.
AANG: Oh …
NARRATOR: And so he went … all glowy … like Gyandtso wanted … but he didn't want you to do it in the d*** ocean … you b****** you.
AANG (in SUPER STEREO VOICE): Hey, what you gonna do, eh?
NARRATOR: And that’s … how our story … starts off … maybe … I guess … something.
The title “AVATAR: THE LAST AIRBENDER this cash-in is gonna make us Nickelodeon executives even richer then we already are” appears.
_________________________________________________________________________
MORE TO COME if you're good ... maybe ... I guess ... something
Oh, and I should warn you the PG-13 is for language and sometimes obscure movie references. I've mainly bl***ed out the bad words (<-- like that), but no hints for movie references for you!
Anyways, I give you ...
AVATAR: THE LAST AIRBENDER
The Live Action Movie Script
[shadow=red,left,300]LEAKED![/shadow][/b][/size](not really)
[/center]
Directed by: M. Night Shyamalamalama-ding-dong
Starring ...
Christopher Walken as................The Narrator
Shia LaDouche (LaBeouf) as.........Avatar Aang
Sir Ian McKellen as.....................Monk Gyatso
Sean Connery as........................Wise OLD Monk
YOU CAN’T HANDLE THE TRUTH of the rest of the cast … yet!
_________________________________________________________________________
NARRATOR (as Christopher Walken): Once upon a time ... theres this ... little bald-haired ... kid, with arrows ... all over ... the d*** place. And he can fly around on some ... buffalo or something. And he has to save the world … from some people. And there’s all these other ... arrow guys … just like him … in some temple somewheres.
MONK GYATSO (as Sir Ian McKellen): Aang … Aang …
Nudges AANG out of bed.
AANG (starring Shia LaBeouf): W-w-what time is it?
MONK GYATSO: You’re in the Southern Air Temple. And its 5 o’clock in the morning, on November the 3rd if you want to …
AANG: I-i-is it r-really necessary for you t-to do that e-e-every morning … i-i-is it really necessary t-t-to …
MONK GYATSO: And is it really necessary for you to stutter and repeat yourself every f***ing 5 seconds!?
Awkward silence.
MONK GYATSO: That’s what I thought. Now Aang, it’s time that you practice your advanced airbending … What with you being the Avatar and all.
AANG: W-w-what was that?
MONK GYATASO: Nothing Aang, nothing. Now I want you to breathe in deep. GYATSO Breathes in through his nose. And out …
AANG: Oh no-no-no-no, I-i-i-i can’t, y-y-you see I-- …
MONK GYATSO: Oh really?
AANG: Y-y-yeah really.
MONK GYATSO: No wa--. Just do it.
AANG: F-f-fine. I-i-i’ll just breathe in, l-l-l-like this. You know, j-j-just like you were d-d-doing. A-a-and then I’ll bre—
MONK GYATSO: TODAY!
Aang poises himself ready.
AANG: Oh-my-god oh-my-god oh-my-god oh-my-god …
NARRATOR: But the little … bald head kid … was breathing in too deep … that his face and all was all blue and stuff … kinda like that creepy arrow on his d*** head.
MONK GYATSO: NO YOU FOOL! NOT THAT MUCH!
NARRATOR: He breathed out so much … that it blew a hole in the wall … or somesuch thing … like that.
AANG: I-i-i’m sorry. I-i-i was just, doing what you were doing. You know, l-l-like this …
NARRATOR: Monk Gestapo … wasn’t too pleased with … that kid. After hitting him … on his head … so d*** much … the f****ing arrow was turning … even more blue … or something … And then they went … to see more bald guys … all sitting around the … place.
WISE OLD MONK (guest starred by Sean Connery): Monk, Wise Old Monk … … … That doesn’t work so well, now does it?
MONK GYATSO: Not really.
AANG: I-i-i think it’s …
WISE OLD MONK: Shut up and sit down boy.
NARRATOR: And so he … sat down … all bhudda like or some such. And a bunch of wooden, old, brown toy … things … were rolled out in front of him.
WISE OLD MONK: Pick one. And just one.
AANG: Oh-h-h-h I like this one. Th-th-th-this ones v-v-very good. Oh-h-h now this one, is shaped like a p-p-pony I think. B-b-b-but THIS one …
WISE OLD MONK: How do you shut him up?
GYATSO whacks AANG on the head, again.
AANG: Ok-ok-ok-ok this one.
It sparkles. It’s a kung-fu action Jesus doll (of course).
MONK GYATSO: Figures. But is this really a good way to find out the truth wise old monk?
WISE OLD MONK: You call it luck. I call it destiny.
AANG: D-d-destiny?
WISE OLD MONK: From the dawn of time, down through the centuries, the Avatar has lived many secret lives, struggling to …
MONK GYATSO: Spare us your narration! That’s HIS job.
NARRATOR: Yeah … that’s all, my job … you moron.
AANG: W-w-w-wait, I-i-i-i’m the Avatar? Like, THE Avatar? Th-th-the guy that always “saves th-the day” Avatar.
MONK GYATSO: Duh!
AANG: W-weren’t you supposed to wait for my 16th birthday. Y-y-you know, when I-i-i’m older a-a-and more mature a-a-and …
MONK GYATSO: Look, the Fire Nation is gonna bomb us like Hiroshima in a day and we need you to go all glowy. By the way you’re 22.
AANG: Who-what-when-where-why-how?
MONK GYATSO: Prepare for battle!
NARRATOR: Yeah … I didn’t explain the Fairy Nation … too well. But just know they’re all … bad and some such thing.
AANG: Ohmygod ohmygod ohmygod Idon’tknowwaterearthorfirebending I’llmakeaterribleavatar AndItalkwaytoofast.
NARRATOR: Shabang was … not doing so good … and was all, freaking out … and … and … such. He was gonna … run away … and never come back … to that place … where he’s at.
AANG: I-i-i am?
NARRATOR: Hell, I don’t know.
AANG: Sounds g-g-good to me. Appa!
NARRATOR: And he called his … hovering manatee ox … and it came to him … and he got on the … thing.
APPA: Yippie-yi-yo-ki-kay yay mother f***er!
NARRATOR: It wasn’t a fan of Bruce Willis movies … and began to fly all over … the … d*** place … and tried drowning itself.
AANG: Ohmigod ohmigod gonnadrown gonnadrown …
WISE OLD MONK (off-screen): You can't drown, you fool. You're immortal.
AANG: Oh …
NARRATOR: And so he went … all glowy … like Gyandtso wanted … but he didn't want you to do it in the d*** ocean … you b****** you.
AANG (in SUPER STEREO VOICE): Hey, what you gonna do, eh?
NARRATOR: And that’s … how our story … starts off … maybe … I guess … something.
The title “AVATAR: THE LAST AIRBENDER this cash-in is gonna make us Nickelodeon executives even richer then we already are” appears.
_________________________________________________________________________
MORE TO COME if you're good ... maybe ... I guess ... something