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Post by Gran Gran on Sept 23, 2008 18:37:15 GMT -5
freerangekids.wordpress.com/2008/04/06/why-i-let-my-9-year-old-ride-the-subway-alone/I read that a few days ago and it made me think. OK, I leave my kid at the Mall where I live, that's where he'll stay, there is no bus route or subway. But it made me see how much of a watchdog I am. Considering, I was his age I would walk to school for starters, maybe not quiet a mile, rain or shine, and on special days my friend and I would walk into town, by ourselves, spend the afternoon shopping, eating ice cream etc. before walking back home. Not to mention we spend hours outside at my Grandma's house only coming in for meals. I am talking long hikes, in the woods over the fields. So what has changed? Some of you are in the general age. What is your view of parents watching your every move? (I also signed my son up for Boyscouts - where Mom won't be expected to be around for meetings!Weird thought, where everybody around me is making it a family outing when a kid does anything)
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historyman12
Fugitive Iroh
IS IT JULY 14TH YET?
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Post by historyman12 on Sept 23, 2008 19:34:03 GMT -5
Oi. That woman is an idiot. While I don't think that she should be arrested for child abuse, she's still being stupid.
Why? She left her child, not in anywhere simple, but in New York City, where you can get lost about as quick as you can say "I love New York." Not only that, but she decided it was a bright idea not to leave him a cell phone. She left him several quarters, which, in New York can be mugged off rather quickly along with everything else the kid had gotten at Bloomingdale's. She also thought it was a bright idea to leave the kid trusted to a stranger. Boy oh boy.
Furthermore, there's this line, that made me want to shove this woman off a high rise.
"Guess what, Ms. Garfinkle: I’d have been devastated. But would that just prove that no mom should ever let her child ride the subway alone?"
Could you have put that in a way that sounded more apathetic? I mean seriously? "Oh yeah, sure, I would've been devastated and all that, but I'd still think it's a fine idea!"
"Justice Department data actually show the number of children abducted by strangers has been going down over the years. So why not let your kids get home from school by themselves?"
Hey! Maybe that's because parents haven't been letting their kids out on their own so much!
Common sense is this woman's sworn enemy it seems.
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Yakuza
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Post by Yakuza on Sept 24, 2008 0:07:52 GMT -5
Child abuse serves under a strange light with a couple of lines that are crossing each other and creating what essentially is, the greatest paradox of modern American families.
Sadly, and this isnt meant to be offensive or irrelevant, but child abuse has gotten hyped up too much. TV shows have put these false notions of family's own neighbors into question. Idolizing actors in a drama series, wanting to be the one who detects the child abuse/rape/drug trafficking. It's an ego boost for sure. And maybe the kid had a bruise from -really- falling down the stairs or getting hit by a baseball, but when the word child abuse is tossed onto the table, the parent quickly realizes he has to defend himself, rather than explain the actual situation.
It's a very sensitive subject that shouldnt be.
The truth is, child abuse works in two ways.
There is a lot of evidence supporting that if you beat your kid, he will have some serious issues when he grows up. But imagine a nuclear device being transported across certain terrains. It's all very very dependent on how you transport that thing, and there is no right way. You can take the normal rocky bumpy path with a few -too- risky ditches in the road and arrive on time (or not). Or you can wuss it out and take the long, paved road that takes unnecessary directions, which might make you miss the launch all together (i.e. puberty, friendships).
There really is no correct way to raise your kids. You just have to do it in the way that fits best. Theres entire generations of personalities being born each day, and each one is directly dependent on how it is being handled. You might lose some characteristics, you might gain some, but the way I see it, child abuse is just... not real.
Now before you click that reply button to flame me for what I just said, hear me out. When children are abused, what is the first thing that comes to our minds? Stupid parents? It's like we completely neglect the child and ooo boy we just L-L-LOOOOVE to talk crap about the parents who did it.
My parents knew the line between beating me and teaching me a lesson. They also left me to bleed at the bottom of the stairs when I was 5 or 6 because they were busy trying to entertain company. Am I mad about it? No. Was it child abuse? No. They just didnt know I surfed down a whole flight of stairs on a pillow and just thought I was doing some crazy antics. People would have loved to call that child abuse, but parents can also be forgiven for assuming their kid is fine.
I turned out fine, right?
*twitch*
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Post by username on Sept 25, 2008 17:18:03 GMT -5
She left him several quarters, which, in New York can be mugged off rather quickly along with everything else the kid had gotten at Bloomingdale's. Muggers don't have magical money sensing powers, if you're going to get mugged it can be better to have a bit of money on you. I do not believe it was even close to child abuse, however, I do not think it was a good idea. There is really no reason a 9 year old would need to navigate NYC alone. It seems like a pointless and slightly risky exercise.
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historyman12
Fugitive Iroh
IS IT JULY 14TH YET?
Posts: 4,822
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Post by historyman12 on Sept 25, 2008 17:28:17 GMT -5
She left him several quarters, which, in New York can be mugged off rather quickly along with everything else the kid had gotten at Bloomingdale's. Muggers don't have magical money sensing powers, if you're going to get mugged it can be better to have a bit of money on you. I know that, but he'd still lack the quarters, wouldn't he? Oh my God, me and Kaneda agree. Okay, guys, into the bunker.
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asian malaysian
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Post by asian malaysian on Sept 25, 2008 21:43:52 GMT -5
^^ oh, the bunker wont help! Its clearly a sign of the apocalypse!
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Yakuza
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Post by Yakuza on Sept 25, 2008 23:01:47 GMT -5
She left him several quarters, which, in New York can be mugged off rather quickly along with everything else the kid had gotten at Bloomingdale's. Muggers don't have magical money sensing powers, if you're going to get mugged it can be better to have a bit of money on you. I do not believe it was even close to child abuse, however, I do not think it was a good idea. There is really no reason a 9 year old would need to navigate NYC alone. It seems like a pointless and slightly risky exercise. That kids either gonna have one ballin' story to tell his friends in the future or have dependency issues for a long time. Besides who mugs a 9 year old kid on a subway during a weekday? There are far more productive things to do. Save that crap for the weekend.
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asian malaysian
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Post by asian malaysian on Sept 26, 2008 3:41:14 GMT -5
Besides who mugs a 9 year old kid on a subway during a weekday? As a parent, would you really want to find out? In the very least, if it was his first time out without adult supervision, she could have insisted that he was with his friends. That way, if he was just late coming home and forgot to call her, shed have someone to call. It sounds like she did what she did just so that she could brag and advocate about it. Why else would she be going around telling everyone about the episode? ooh look, I let my kids play with matches coz if they dont burn themselves, they'll never learn to stop---and they didnt even burn down the house or end up in the emergency room! Maybe so but sheesh!
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Post by mike1921 on Sept 26, 2008 7:50:25 GMT -5
*sigh* And I have no one to nominate for the darwin award!! such stupidity as this normally comes from someone who's stupidity leads to their death. And She's a greedy b***h. she has no idea what middle ground is. Just give the kid a cell phone and have him bring some friends. And if you hear me, the 13 year old who's as liberal as possible, thinks it should be legal to leave school at any age, and wants the working age lowered to 10 getting ticked at a lady for letting a child do something you know something is wrong with this lady.
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Yakuza
Avatar Aang
I've Got A Restrainin' Order Against Satan's Daughter
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Post by Yakuza on Sept 26, 2008 11:09:29 GMT -5
Besides who mugs a 9 year old kid on a subway during a weekday? As a parent, would you really want to find out? In the very least, if it was his first time out without adult supervision, she could have insisted that he was with his friends. That way, if he was just late coming home and forgot to call her, shed have someone to call. It sounds like she did what she did just so that she could brag and advocate about it. Why else would she be going around telling everyone about the episode? ooh look, I let my kids play with matches coz if they dont burn themselves, they'll never learn to stop---and they didnt even burn down the house or end up in the emergency room! Maybe so but sheesh! I actually would. I really would. I would really like to see a 9 year old kid get mugged on a subway in broad daylight on a weekday. The day I see that, I will lose every bit of faith I have in people. There has to be at least 1 non-selfish person out of every 7 people, someone has to intervene. Someone. It may have been his age that actually saved him. No mugger really targets a kid for a big prize, robbery is a huge risk. But this is all irrelevant. I really dont think she did this to brag that her kid is learning some discipline, but just like every parent she took a risk in the degree at which she taught her kid a lesson. It was a stupid risk, and we may never really hear from her again. We might not even see the results. For all we know, that experience could have just been shrugged off by the kid. But parents really do have a risk factor in how far they are willing to go in order to teach their kids a lesson.
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asian malaysian
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Post by asian malaysian on Sept 26, 2008 21:33:02 GMT -5
As a parent, would you really want to find out? I actually would. I really would. I would really like to see a 9 year old kid get mugged on a subway in broad daylight on a weekday. The day I see that, I will lose every bit of faith I have in people. There has to be at least 1 non-selfish person out of every 7 people, someone has to intervene. Someone. We're not talking about "a" 9 year old kid, were talking about "your" 9 year old kid. Its not a social experiment and the possible results may not be as comforting to you or the mother of your child as youd imagine. "Well, honey, at least now we know not to trust humanity if we decide to have another one.". Or did you really think that getting mugged of his or her lunch money is the worse that could happen to a 9 year old kid alone in the city? I live in Malaysia which on the whole is a fairly safe place but horrible things happen here too. Please read this wikipedia entry of what happened here just last year: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nurin_JazlinThe fact that things like that dont happen most of the time is of absolutely no comfort if it were to happen to you.To be fair, she does acknowledge in her article that things like this happen. And her comment is true that when they, do the parents are unfairly blamed. But the fact that "it wasnt your fault" and it was a "million to one case" wont be of any comfort if it were to happen to you. Yes, I agree that it is hard to be a parent and you have to strike the balance between being overly protective and paranoid and not being careful enough. Still, if the biggest downside of my decisions as a parent were that my kid winds up lying on the couch of some psychoanalyst, I think Id be okay with that. Some kids arent so lucky. Btw, she is clearly advocating on the matter. I seriously doubt that the head of safetynet4kids.com just happened to be her next door neighbour for her to tell the story to while borrowing a cup of sugar.
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Grandi
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Post by Grandi on Sept 26, 2008 21:54:23 GMT -5
Still, if the biggest downside of my decisions as a parent were that my kid winds up lying on the couch of some psychoanalyst, I think Id be okay with that. Some kids arent so lucky. You'd be happy with your kid being psychologically scared for their entire life and having to overcome the effects of your parenting in order to be a success at life rather than grant them freedoms on the minuscule chance that something bad might happen to them? Being a passenger in a car is more dangerous than riding the subway.
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Post by mike1921 on Sept 26, 2008 22:01:17 GMT -5
Give me more explanation then that, because I'd rather be raped by a man named sprinkles, have my arm chopped off, and then get thrown off a building than to go to a psychologist's office. True as that is it's completely irrelevant when it comes to what you should and shouldn't let your kids do. Because if you take things by how bad they possibly can get without thinking of the odds of it happening than you've thrown all logic out the window.
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asian malaysian
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Let me hear you say this ship is bananas! B-A-NA-N-A-S!
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Post by asian malaysian on Sept 26, 2008 22:04:20 GMT -5
Grandi, Theo, read the wiki link to find out where Nurin Jazlin is lying.
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Post by mike1921 on Sept 26, 2008 22:09:14 GMT -5
Grandi, Theo, read the wiki link to find out where Nurin Jazlin is lying. Theo?
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