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Rain
Jul 2, 2008 16:12:51 GMT -5
Post by username on Jul 2, 2008 16:12:51 GMT -5
The fic was pretty much only plot seeing as there was no narrative. It's more of an idea for a fanfiction than an actual fanfiction. I can't really say how good the plot is seeing as it has barely even been executed. The plot doesn't seem amazing, but like many things it could be good if the fic were actually well written.
We're just saying you really need to improve as a writer. If you think you don't need to listen to proper advice then you should just give up writing.
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Rain
Jul 2, 2008 16:40:43 GMT -5
Post by arbiter on Jul 2, 2008 16:40:43 GMT -5
i am taking your advice i am just shocked that most people here hated it but most on 2 other avatar sites loved it
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Rain
Jul 2, 2008 16:48:56 GMT -5
Post by Empy on Jul 2, 2008 16:48:56 GMT -5
No one said they hated the story, they just found things you can improve on in terms of writing to create a more enjoyable story.
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Rain
Jul 2, 2008 16:50:48 GMT -5
Post by arbiter on Jul 2, 2008 16:50:48 GMT -5
okay well i will work on improving my writing and i posted a story that is better than rain called looking for love its a comedy so have a look at it.
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Rain
Jul 2, 2008 18:17:41 GMT -5
Post by username on Jul 2, 2008 18:17:41 GMT -5
Also you should try to avoid stealing lines from "Gladiator"
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Rain
Jul 2, 2008 18:19:28 GMT -5
Post by arbiter on Jul 2, 2008 18:19:28 GMT -5
i wasnt stealing lines and i will try to improve my writing also have a look at my humor fanfic looking for love
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Rain
Jul 2, 2008 21:36:21 GMT -5
Post by Chibi Chan-o on Jul 2, 2008 21:36:21 GMT -5
Also you should try to avoid stealing lines from "Gladiator" *looks again* Juba quote!!! XD
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Rain
Jul 3, 2008 4:26:12 GMT -5
Post by arbiter on Jul 3, 2008 4:26:12 GMT -5
well what do you all think of my humor fanfic looking for love?.
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random bender
Appa
Gone for ever back again! are you happy? ^^
Posts: 201
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Rain
Jul 3, 2008 16:31:02 GMT -5
Post by random bender on Jul 3, 2008 16:31:02 GMT -5
i will be honest and blunt, i don't like it. thats my Simon opinion. intresting story line but what time is it placed? and is the war over or what? i did not get really any of it.
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Rain
Jul 3, 2008 16:34:40 GMT -5
Post by arbiter on Jul 3, 2008 16:34:40 GMT -5
the war ended and its few years after that and Sokka is remembering when Katara and Zuko died.
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Rain
Jul 3, 2008 17:36:06 GMT -5
Post by username on Jul 3, 2008 17:36:06 GMT -5
well what do you all think of my humor fanfic looking for love?. I didn't like that on either. I suppose it was a slight improvement, seeing as it was told as something resembling a story.
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Rain
Jul 3, 2008 17:38:15 GMT -5
Post by arbiter on Jul 3, 2008 17:38:15 GMT -5
well what should i do to improve then i use proper grammer, no spelling mistakes, capital letters, full stops what did i do wrong.
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Rain
Jul 3, 2008 18:00:50 GMT -5
Post by username on Jul 3, 2008 18:00:50 GMT -5
Subpar writing.
Does anyone let alone Zuko and Aang, talk like that?
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Rain
Jul 3, 2008 18:06:27 GMT -5
Post by arbiter on Jul 3, 2008 18:06:27 GMT -5
well i will try to improve on writing the dialogue
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Ilise
Buzzard Wasp
w00t, it's Jun
Posts: 503
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Rain
Jul 16, 2008 20:15:26 GMT -5
Post by Ilise on Jul 16, 2008 20:15:26 GMT -5
"If you think you don't need to listen to proper advice then you should just give up writing." WHOA. You NEVER say that to ANYONE. Okay, I didn't think this fic was the most polished. Keep in mind that the internet doesn't allow you unbridled freedom. However, take the worst writer in the world. That person can do nothing but improve. And comments like a lot of those above are both unnecessary and irrelevant. Not only that - you told this author that stuff they did was "wrong", but how were they supposed to improve, huh? Giving a vague statement about how Zuko and Aang do NOT talk isn't gonna help anyone. arbiter: Generally, it helps to read aloud your dialogue. It helps you discover what is and what is not natural. If you wouldn't say something yourself, take it out or reword it - it's probably too wordy. (People nowadays speak in mostly sentence fragments.) Also, I would advise not putting your work on DeviantArt at all. That place is for visual artists, photographers, but not writers. People don't know how to critique. I'd suggest fanfiction.net. Create an account and you can start putting up stories and getting feedback. From what I've seen, you don't particularly mind ...harsh... reviewers, so if someone flames you just ignore them. Fanfiction.net writers on some level do seem to help writers get better. Of course, I can't explain comprehensive English grammar here, but for now just know that you punctuate a quote with quotes (") and not apostrophes, which you used in this fanfic ('). If you have a word processor, use that. It'll underline any misspelled words or mispunctuated words (for the most part). Things like 'its' and 'im' are generally looked upon as laziness. Just put in that apostrophe (it's and I'm) and everything will look a lot better. I generally just speak about mechanical things because I think it's your job to improve your style as a writer on your own. Keep writing. Don't let people tell you to stop -glares at Kaneda-. -i
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