Post by femaleairbender on Nov 12, 2007 20:15:51 GMT -5
Title: Mary Sue Wants to Rant
Genre: Humor/Parody
Summary: Mary Sue is sick of everyone's hatred of her, so she decides to rant angrily about it.
Author's Note: Please take note that I don't mean to bash any character in this one-shot.
Okay, you morons, listen up.
My name is Mary Sue. And I'm sick of you idiots and your hatred of me. You think it's easy to be me?! Do you??
It's not enough for you that my beauty is so blinding that every person I talk to has to close their eyes?! It's not enough that I've been the girlfriend of practically EVERY SINGLE GUY existed?! It's not enough for you that I have to die at the end of every one of your so-called fanfics?! Dying hurts, cheese heads! I'm always the one to jump in front of Zuko, or Aang, or Jet, or Sokka and die a horrible, painful death, and yet, you still hate me?!
And it's not so peachy being the daughter of some psycho Fire Lord, either. For the spirits' sake, being the daughter of Ozai means that I have to outshine Azula, and it's scary enough when she's jealous of you! And then I have to be the one who's the female version of Zuko. Spirits, you think your life is tough?!
And don't you even get started on my special bending abilities. You think I like being another airbender, or the second Avatar, or a bender of an "element" that doesn't even exist? That is so cheap. And for the spirits' sake, you'd think that if I had insanely powerful bending abilities, ten times stronger than the Avatar, I wouldn't be the girlfriend of some loser like Aang, the boy who doesn't take anything seriously.
Oh, and you think I like being Little Miss Perfect, Miss I'm-So-Nice-That-No-One-Can-Resist-My-Charm? For once, I'd like to pound Toph into the ground when she asks me for help with her earthbending. I HATE TOPH.
And you can't possibly forget Katara. She's so bipolar, it's not even funny. And to have her hanging off my every word...DO YOU THINK I'M INSANE?!
Oh, yeah, Zhao. Well, trust me, you don't want Zhao to like you. He's a pervert. Up all night reading R-rated fanfics featuring himself and Azula on his computer. Yes, you heard me. He has a computer. And the worst thing possible is to have a power-hungry, job-obsessed, freaky SUCK-UP asking you to come down to his "ship" for an "important" matter. I'm sure all of you would love that!
Wait a sec, Katara shippers. Don't think you're getting off easy. You think inserting myself into Katara so she can hook up with Aang or Zuko makes it any easier on me? Think again. I have a LIFE, you know. I don't have time to be inserted into Katara so she can be together with one of two idiots who aren't even hot anyway!!
So, you pea brains, before you hate me, think about what I have to go through. Put yourself in my position. Go ahead.
I dare you.
Genre: Humor/Parody
Summary: Mary Sue is sick of everyone's hatred of her, so she decides to rant angrily about it.
Author's Note: Please take note that I don't mean to bash any character in this one-shot.
Okay, you morons, listen up.
My name is Mary Sue. And I'm sick of you idiots and your hatred of me. You think it's easy to be me?! Do you??
It's not enough for you that my beauty is so blinding that every person I talk to has to close their eyes?! It's not enough that I've been the girlfriend of practically EVERY SINGLE GUY existed?! It's not enough for you that I have to die at the end of every one of your so-called fanfics?! Dying hurts, cheese heads! I'm always the one to jump in front of Zuko, or Aang, or Jet, or Sokka and die a horrible, painful death, and yet, you still hate me?!
And it's not so peachy being the daughter of some psycho Fire Lord, either. For the spirits' sake, being the daughter of Ozai means that I have to outshine Azula, and it's scary enough when she's jealous of you! And then I have to be the one who's the female version of Zuko. Spirits, you think your life is tough?!
And don't you even get started on my special bending abilities. You think I like being another airbender, or the second Avatar, or a bender of an "element" that doesn't even exist? That is so cheap. And for the spirits' sake, you'd think that if I had insanely powerful bending abilities, ten times stronger than the Avatar, I wouldn't be the girlfriend of some loser like Aang, the boy who doesn't take anything seriously.
Oh, and you think I like being Little Miss Perfect, Miss I'm-So-Nice-That-No-One-Can-Resist-My-Charm? For once, I'd like to pound Toph into the ground when she asks me for help with her earthbending. I HATE TOPH.
And you can't possibly forget Katara. She's so bipolar, it's not even funny. And to have her hanging off my every word...DO YOU THINK I'M INSANE?!
Oh, yeah, Zhao. Well, trust me, you don't want Zhao to like you. He's a pervert. Up all night reading R-rated fanfics featuring himself and Azula on his computer. Yes, you heard me. He has a computer. And the worst thing possible is to have a power-hungry, job-obsessed, freaky SUCK-UP asking you to come down to his "ship" for an "important" matter. I'm sure all of you would love that!
Wait a sec, Katara shippers. Don't think you're getting off easy. You think inserting myself into Katara so she can hook up with Aang or Zuko makes it any easier on me? Think again. I have a LIFE, you know. I don't have time to be inserted into Katara so she can be together with one of two idiots who aren't even hot anyway!!
So, you pea brains, before you hate me, think about what I have to go through. Put yourself in my position. Go ahead.
I dare you.