Post by Empy on Dec 29, 2006 14:09:08 GMT -5
Is this love? Zuko thought to himself as he was kissing the Earth Kingdom refugee. He had never been on a date before, never had someone like him before and so, for a time he thought that it was love. He never saw her again.
Zuko always was a fast learner. He began to know when it was love, but really, he never was sure what love was in the first place. He knew the maternal devotion that his mother had shown was love but somehow, he thought that love would be different. That instead of the warmth that memories of his mother brought, that love would be fiery, like a comet. That was why he thought that it was love as he traced the burns on an Earth Kingdom girl’s leg as she slept. It was love he told himself as he drifted into sleep, but his eyes kept trailing to the scar on her leg.
He later discovered it was not love and so he tried looking again. He felt, empty inside. Is this love? He wondered to himself, what love truly was when he held the waterbending girl in his arms. He thought so, at least for a while, they had passion and for a time he mistook it for love. He realized it was not to be however, whenever they were together, her eyes journeyed away from his face, searching for a certain airbender.
All the girls, they reminded him of his past. It was a past he did not want to remember, full of shame and failure. The girl with the scar of her own reminded him of his father’s cruelty, his own cruelty. The Earth Kingdom refugee reminded him of his state of poverty, of want. Zuko always hated relying on others and when he was with that girl, it was as if he just needed to know that someone cared. She reminded him of his almost insane desire to please. He remembered the candles at the fountain and how in lighting them, he had gotten a kiss and false hopes of love.
The waterbender showed him that love was not passion. She reminded him of his weakness, his vain hopes to believe what never was. He had had such hopes during the war, hopes of regaining his honor, regaining his father’s love, regaining his old life. All were false, and he knew it too but he tried so hard to make it true that it hurt all the more. He knew that Katara didn’t love him, he could see her watching the avatar but she reminded him of his mother. She had a warmth to her and she was kind and so he thought it was enough. He knew she had tried to make it work but he knew that she did not love him, what they had… it was not love no matter how hard he wished it was.
The emptiness in his heart remained and Zuko decided that it would never be filled, but he was wrong. He found love somewhere he never expected, right in front of him. After the war, Mai had stayed and aided him but he never thanked her, never noticed her until one day he heard her singing. Zuko regularly took walks through the palace gardens, it cleared his head, it let him forget his worries, at least for a while. He had heard her as he made his rounds and truthfully, he didn’t think it was Mai but it was. Her husky voice gave a depth to the music and at that moment, he saw her not as a glum aristocrat, but as beautiful. The notes she sang, the emotion in her voice, it was in that moment he began to fall in love with her.
He was cautious with her, love was still a foreign idea, he had never truly experienced it before. The more he got to really know her however, the more the empty space in his heart began to fill. She reminded him of a past filled with happiness and childish dreams, she understood him. She knew his hopes and dreams and she knew his past, with her, he had nothing to hide. She was the one that filled his heart.
As he cradled her in his arms, her long black hair brushing against his bare skin, he knew he was finally content with his life. He knew finally he had found love.
Opinions and comments are appreciated.
