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Post by Kataang's Supreme on Nov 7, 2006 21:23:29 GMT -5
It has been a whole week since Aang's near death experiance. Ganosis managed to escape and trackers came back saying the metal encased spirit had disappeared without a trace. Aang was released from the hospital free of charge, and an overjoyed Katara had given him a big hug.
"If I am to return to the city, I must gain the trust of the public.", Ganosis says to General Zeeca.
"Have you heard of the Dai Lee?", Zeeca asks. "It is a corrupt political organization, they control Ba-Sing-Se, and the King is their puppet.".
"Let me guess, these corrupt ones, the citizens have no idea what they are doing to them. If I liberate them, and they realize what happened, I will be a hero in their eyes, will I not?".
"Yes, to them a great hero, you will then have their trust.", Zeeca replys. "Just kill the Dai Lee leader, Lon Feng, and cut down anyone in your way.".
"I like that plan, very violent.", Ganosis says.
TO BE CONTINUED...
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daydream11
penguin
"I love you, Bolin! AHHHHH!!!"
Posts: 2
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Post by daydream11 on Nov 8, 2006 7:43:43 GMT -5
Your writing has become so much better. This story is pretty good.
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Post by Kataang's Supreme on Nov 12, 2006 23:50:35 GMT -5
Ganosis sneaks back into Ba-Sing-Se and slips past all security. The metal encased spirit finds the Royal Palace and gets inside without waking the Dai Lee guards.
Ganosis sets a canister of something down on the floor and attacthes a timer to it. Then he leaves the palace as a huge mess of green fog is released from the canister after the timer stops. The green fog is toxic gas. Ganosis knows any living thing in the palace will now be dead by morning.
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Post by Kataang's Supreme on Nov 13, 2006 0:09:42 GMT -5
The following morning, Aang and Katara head to the upper city library in hopes of finding information on the thing that is after them. Katara finds a book on dark spirits. It takes awhile, but she finds Ganosis. She calls Aang over.
"It says that this dark spirit is over 30 million years old!", Katara says. "Apparently the very first Avatar condemed the spirit's soul to an immortal life of evil and darkness. It says he is Ganosis, the spirit of hate, anger, violence, and cursing. There is only one real way to stop him."
"How?", Aang asks.
"He must find true love. He is immortal otherwise, meaning he can't be killed, and is most of the time encased in a metal suit and metal head/mask. He uses his dark powers to control the suit from sitting on a seat from within the torso. Both his arms, entirely made from metal, are attached to his metal suit and can split to form six arms. He is well trained in the duelsword arts. His arm feature allows him to use six. There are two metal legs attached to the suit.".
"Reading about me huh?", a dark voice asks Aang and Katara.
Aang and Katara turn around to find Ganosis standing in a battle stance, his arms transformed and all six duelswords drawn.
"Its time for you both to DIE!!!".
TO BE CONTINUED...
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Post by Kataang's Supreme on Nov 14, 2006 21:31:30 GMT -5
Ganosis grabs Katara and slams her against a bookcase. He then walks up to Aang.
"I sense much fear in you Avatar.", Ganosis says."Fear is on my side, for fear is my ally.". "Fear weakens the enemy before thy even gets to them."
Ganosis twrills four of his swords around like propellers, while two are in a stabbing position. Aang sends an air blast at the metal encased spirit, but Ganosis sinks his metal claws into the floor, holding him in place.
Aang pulls out his staff, but Ganosis slices his staff in two. Then Ganosis grabs the two pieces and hurls them at Aang, hitting the boy's chest and stomach.
As Aang falls to his knees in pain, Ganosis prepares to slice Aang into pieces.
"Once again, I shall have vengance Avatar!!", Ganosis says in rage. "Vengace for making my life an immortal HE_ _!!!".
TO BE CONTINUED...
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Post by Kataang's Supreme on Dec 21, 2006 18:49:58 GMT -5
A/N: This chapter takes place directly after the 2nd Season Finale.
Ganosis had lost his grip on Aang and was forced to flee... ...for awhile. Shortly after the takeover of the city, Ganosis pays Azula and Zuko a little visit. Ganosis charges into the troneroom.
"Princess Azula?? And scar freak?? Where is the Earth King and the Avatar?!", Ganosis yells.
"If you seek the Avatar, you are too late. He is either dead right now, or dying and dead by morning.", Azula tells Ganosis with a small smile.
"You say you struck him down?".
"Nope, killed him.".
"You lie like a rug Azula! The Avatar is alive. My powers have sensed it.".
"Then Zuko here will finish the job.". Azula turns to Zuko. The worped prince nods in agreement. Ganosis just gruffs.
"Well then, I will allow time to kill your brother fit into my busy schedule.", Ganosis says, annoyed with them.
"What is on your schedule?", Azula asks.
Ganosis pulls out a long scroll and reads.
"Kill the Avatar, kill the Avatar, kill the Avatar, terrorize helpless bystanders, kill the Avatar, terrorize more bystanders, kill Zuko..."
TO BE CONTINUED...
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Atmos
Casual Zuko
Tame the Flame
Posts: 946
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Post by Atmos on Dec 21, 2006 20:11:52 GMT -5
You have a pretty good fanfic going on here. I compliment on your action scences; they have a very good, fast pace. And the idea of a pure evil spirit makes it interestings, especially when you take its perspective. As for the other side of the coin, you have various spelling/grammar errors scattered about. If you want to reduce them, may I suggest using typing your segments on Microsoft word or any other word processor. That way the program can pick up on most errors and then you can copy/paste onto the thread. Also the tenses are inconsistent; your constanting jumping between present and past. Stick to one tense. I also think you have room for a bit more for mre description; add details on the surroundings or go in depth of what the characters are thinking to slow down the pace in non-action scenes. Hope that helps. And keep up the story! Also, if you have the time, could ya swing by my story and check it out. Would appreciate any thoughts.
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Post by Kataang's Supreme on Dec 22, 2006 21:26:18 GMT -5
"Why don't we settle an agreement here?", Azula suggests. "You and Zuko can finish the job.".
Ganosis glares at the princess, but then comes up with a plan of his own.
"Put me in charge of this mission, and you two will get the credit. I just want my revenge.", Ganosis says to Azula.
"Consider it done spirit.", Azula says as she shakes Ganosis' metal hand.
THE FOLLOWING MORNING...
It is late morning in Ba-Sing-Se. At the palace, Ty Lee is teaching Ganosis the acrobat move that she tried to teach the Earth King's bear. Ganosis seems to have a hard time learning it.
Ty Lee instructs him again, "Like this... ... Good! You got it!".
Ganosis turns his head to face her. Both of them are in that position.
"How can you stay like that girl?!", Ganosis asks her.
"Hmmm... takes practice... but then no problem!", Ty Lee says happily.
TO BE CONTINUED...
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Post by Kataang's Supreme on Dec 25, 2006 21:53:40 GMT -5
Reviews Please?
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Post by Kataang's Supreme on Jan 2, 2007 19:35:41 GMT -5
Azula walks around the corner, talking with Mai, and spots Ty Lee and her teaching sesson with Ganosis.
"What are you doing Ty Lee?", Azula asks a bit concerned her lesson might interfer with her plans.
"Training my new friend Azula, want to join?", Ty Lee responds in her usual happy, smiley tone.
"Now let's not jump to conclusions, girly girl.", Ganosis says to Ty Lee.
"How about you join Mai?", Ty Lee asks Mai.
Mai looks disgusted, and responds, "I think I'd rather go back to wearing that nauseating make- up!".
Azula jumps back in, "Ty Lee, I am sure this spirit would rather not learn your 'techniques'.".
"I don't mind Fire Princess, better than sitting around all day.", Ganosis tells Azula.
"That is so nice of you!", Ty Lee says as she hugs Ganosis, whose eyes are wide with shock and confusion.
"Yes, yes , miss cheerful girl.", Ganosis says to Ty Lee. "Now, please get off of me!", Ganosis adds.
"Okay!", Ty Lee says, still happily, then lets go.
TO BE CONTINUED...
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Post by Kataang's Supreme on Jan 21, 2007 21:01:41 GMT -5
Ganosis and Zuko, bitter enemies forced to work with one another by Azula, are searching for Aang, but Zuko is convinced that Aang is dead.
"I doupt that the Avatar could have survive that kind of blow.", Zuko says, bitterly.
"That is the problem with you observers.", Ganosis replies, "All you do is observe. Never stop to consider what might be happening right under your noses.".
"Shut Up.", Zuko says.
"Are you smart, princey?".
"Yes."
"Then spell it.".
"S-M-A-R-T".
Ganosis smiles under his metal mask and helmet.
"I said spell 'it' you moron.", Ganosis says.
TO BE CONTINUED...
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Post by Kataang's Supreme on Feb 7, 2007 13:30:21 GMT -5
After searching for nearly 3 days, Ganosis decided that the time was right to unfold phase one of his new plan.
"I thought I had you figured Princy.", Ganosis says to Zuko. "But it turns out I underestimated you.".
"What are you saying?", Zuko asks a little bitterly.
"I thought you were an easily manipulated, violent, and reckless drone. But now I see you have more of a free will."
"I am not an easily manipulated drone!!", Zuko yells in anger.
"Still, you are weak, and not very bright either.".
Ganosis transforms his two arms into six and draws his six duelswords. Ganosis then slashes two of the swords against Zuko's arms. Then, Ganosis extends his right led and wraps his foot claws around Zuko's neck, strangling the firebender. Once Zuko is near death, Ganosis hurls Zuko against a tree, and hard. Zuko falls to the ground, unconcious and nearly dead.
"Phase one complete.", Ganosis says, before laughing darkly. "Good Night, and stay that way.". Ganosis walks away into the night, preparing for phase two.
TO BE CONTINUED...
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Post by Kataang's Supreme on Feb 15, 2007 11:43:05 GMT -5
A few miles away, the gaang is all asleep at their camp, the sun coming up. All are asleep except for the former Earth King's, bear Bosco. Ganosis is up in a tree, preparing for phase two.
The metal encased spirit jumps down and shows Bosco he has a steak with him. The bear starts drooling and sniffing.
"You like steak, eh?", Ganosis says to Bosco. The bear sits and nods. "Fetch fury fool! Fetch!", Ganosis shouts quietly before throwing the steak a mile away. Bosco runs after it.
"Flea Market", Gannosis says to himself before turning to the tents, transforming his two arms into six, and drawing all six duelswords.
"Wakey, wakey! Rise and DIE!!!"
TO BE CONTINUED...
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Ilise
Buzzard Wasp
w00t, it's Jun
Posts: 503
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Post by Ilise on Feb 16, 2007 21:37:10 GMT -5
Well... This is interesting. I like the bit about the pretty flowers disgusting him on the first page. He's a very interesting spirit... o.0 But Maybe you could combine a few of the posts; there are a lot here and it gets distracting. NOOO! NOT ZUKO!
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Post by Kataang's Supreme on Mar 3, 2007 15:45:55 GMT -5
Toph breaks her earth tent open, and sends a boulder hurling at Ganosis. The metal encased spirit jumps out of the way and grabs the boulder with his right metal foot. Ganosis spins around and releases the boulder, sending it hurling back to Toph. The boulder hits Toph and she is knocked out.
Ganosis then turns to find Aang, Katara, and Sokka awake and ready for battle. Ganosis extends his right metal foot, and slams it against Katara's side, then against Sokka's side. The two hit the ground in pain.
Aang air punches Ganosis, sending him flying. Ganosis hits the ground, stands up, and charges.
TO BE CONTINUED...
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