Ilise
Buzzard Wasp
w00t, it's Jun
Posts: 503
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She
Feb 22, 2007 21:29:58 GMT -5
Post by Ilise on Feb 22, 2007 21:29:58 GMT -5
she was born lucky; I was lucky to be born. she has had everything thrust forwards to her; she looks at a platter of grapefruit rubies that she toys with. I sit by and play with small green emeralds of envy. she is beautiful and respected. she stands tall, unblemished and cruel and she is everything that a fire lord should be- though a she. I am a fighter; I have had to struggle for anything I need or want. I was never loved, never appreciated; I am scarred and life has taken its toll on me. I am hard with regret and remorse, tired from traveling. I have nothing to call my own. I sit on the sideline and play with small emeralds while she sits on a throne and plays with the world...
Ooooh. Mysterious, eh? who could be talking? *wink* Get the pun in the fifth to last line, eh, eh? "scarred"? I'm so clever... not... Well, anyway, aside from my off-topic ramblings, I hope you liked it. I always love the whole Zuko Azula thing. They're such photogenic siblings, huh? AA
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She
Feb 22, 2007 22:08:43 GMT -5
Post by taiyo *on limited hiatus* on Feb 22, 2007 22:08:43 GMT -5
Wow! That was really good! I especially loved the emeralds of envy part. Very descriptive on the emotions.....Dang! I'll have to give you karma when my hour is up.
EDIT: *karmas*
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Sheogorath
Kyoshi Azula
Lord of the Never-There
Yeah, an Avatard and a brony. Got a problem with that?
Posts: 2,223
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She
Feb 22, 2007 22:23:49 GMT -5
Post by Sheogorath on Feb 22, 2007 22:23:49 GMT -5
That was pretty good.
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She
Feb 22, 2007 22:31:21 GMT -5
Post by Fire Lord Azula on Feb 22, 2007 22:31:21 GMT -5
Very nice! You captured Zuko's bitterness well.
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Ilise
Buzzard Wasp
w00t, it's Jun
Posts: 503
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She
Feb 23, 2007 6:28:54 GMT -5
Post by Ilise on Feb 23, 2007 6:28:54 GMT -5
Many thanks, guys! @general Zoisaito: I had a hard time trying to find the right words, lol, but fortunately I think they turned out okay. And you are so right- Azula is hardcore. @reaper: Thanks! By the way: love your icon. Heh heh. taiyo *on limited hiatus*: Meep! Danke many times! Anyway, glad you liked it! .AA.
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She
Feb 23, 2007 13:08:38 GMT -5
Post by Fire Lord Azula on Feb 23, 2007 13:08:38 GMT -5
Oh, I'd say you succeeded. I could feel Zuko's pain as he described his sister. The jealousy; the longing to be appreciated and loved as she is... it was beautiful. Thanks for the enjoyable read! Karma for you!
Heh, yeah, Azula defines hardcore.
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She
Feb 23, 2007 13:33:09 GMT -5
Post by teashoppegirl on Feb 23, 2007 13:33:09 GMT -5
Very enjoyable. I always like the stories that don't say who the character is directly.
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historyman12
Fugitive Iroh
IS IT JULY 14TH YET?
Posts: 4,822
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She
Feb 23, 2007 14:24:04 GMT -5
Post by historyman12 on Feb 23, 2007 14:24:04 GMT -5
*lw clap* good, for a second, I thought you just wrote down Zuko's words, but, fine none the less.
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Ilise
Buzzard Wasp
w00t, it's Jun
Posts: 503
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She
Feb 23, 2007 14:46:35 GMT -5
Post by Ilise on Feb 23, 2007 14:46:35 GMT -5
teashoppegirl: Haha, yeah, I like 'em too, cause it's so much more mysterious, and Zuko just needed not to be named, you know? It's a bit more subtle, I think. @historyman: I thought it would be a bit generic to start it with a quote- but in the end, I couldn't think of anything else, hah. So it stayed. Many thanks!
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She
Feb 23, 2007 20:33:05 GMT -5
Post by Sokkaroksya on Feb 23, 2007 20:33:05 GMT -5
Moxt Excellent...now I know why you have more karma than me...*note to self: post more stories...*
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Ilise
Buzzard Wasp
w00t, it's Jun
Posts: 503
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She
Feb 23, 2007 22:15:06 GMT -5
Post by Ilise on Feb 23, 2007 22:15:06 GMT -5
Haha, yes, you must! Cause I need to read more of your stuff! Maybe I'll write something humorous next instead of all this angsty stuff... But for now I'll stay on topic and say something about the poem: Can't it be a female fire lord? Fire lady just sounds too... serene... so should I change it, or should it stay like it is?
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She
Feb 23, 2007 22:22:45 GMT -5
Post by Fire Lord Azula on Feb 23, 2007 22:22:45 GMT -5
No, no! Keep it the way it is. This is just one opinion, but I can't stand the sound of "Firelady". 'Hasn't even been used in the series, and who's to say that a female can't be Firelord? I didn't mention this before, but your decision to use "Firelord" was something I appreciated about your story.
And besides, Azula's too hardcore to be "Firelady".
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Sheogorath
Kyoshi Azula
Lord of the Never-There
Yeah, an Avatard and a brony. Got a problem with that?
Posts: 2,223
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She
Feb 23, 2007 22:30:13 GMT -5
Post by Sheogorath on Feb 23, 2007 22:30:13 GMT -5
@reaper: Thanks! By the way: love your icon. Heh heh. Yup, and thank you for the complement about my icon. I could tell you where I found it if you'd like. PM me if you'd like to know. Yeah, on subject, now, the way you chose to begin it, She was born lucky, I was lucky to be born, made it obvious to me who it was about.
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Ilise
Buzzard Wasp
w00t, it's Jun
Posts: 503
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She
Feb 24, 2007 9:44:41 GMT -5
Post by Ilise on Feb 24, 2007 9:44:41 GMT -5
Haha, yeah, the opening is rather un-subtle. But the rest is more quietly Zuko... and you icon.. it looks like jewelry?
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She
Feb 25, 2007 17:04:05 GMT -5
Post by conspiracytheorist on Feb 25, 2007 17:04:05 GMT -5
she was born lucky; I was lucky to be born. she has had everything thrust forwards to her; she looks at a platter of grapefruit rubies that she toys with. I sit by and play with small green emeralds of envy. she is beautiful and respected. she stands tall, unblemished and cruel and she is everything that a fire lord should be- though a she. I am a fighter; I have had to struggle for anything I need or want. I was never loved, never appreciated; I am scarred and life has taken its toll on me. I am hard with regret and remorse, tired from traveling. I have nothing to call my own. I sit on the sideline and play with small emeralds while she sits on a throne and plays with the world... Excellent! I love that, despite its abstract styling, there is a vague rhyming quality that draws attention to key parts of the poem. Well done!
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