Wow… a lot more profiles have arrived o.o I’m going to review them in the order they were posted, so look for your name in bold ^^
earthbendingmage~Kitsu~
I have very few problems with this OC. The first is that the Northern Water Tribe is sexist, so he most likely would have been raised with these beliefs. However, you state that he loves his mother very much, and that relationship could cause him to overcome some of those biases (not all, of course, he would still have some minor prejudices).
Another problem I have is with Yuki’s past. I doubt a Fire Nation woman would go to the Northern Water Tribe; the way I see it, the Northern Water Tribe had been pretty isolated for years. I also wonder how Yuki went missing >.>
Finally, Kitsu and Giya are a little young to be traveling on their own. Yes, the Aang gang is around the same age, but that’s because Aang’s the Avatar. I doubt Kitsu’s mother would have wanted him traveling the world.
Confettie~Jiang Ku~
Appearance- What kind of scarf does a thief wear? o.O
History- Why would his uncle send a four-year-old Ku into the forest by himself? Couldn’t his uncle at least find a neighbor or something that would have taken him?
Firebenders can still enter the forest; sure, they can’t really use their firebending, but there are other ways to fight.
Why wouldn’t the monk try to help Ku find his family? Or at least find out what happened to them, seeing as how Ku doesn’t know whether or not they are alive.
That’s a real coincidence that he ran into his brother o.O Why didn’t he want to stay with him?
I would recommend working on the grammar and spelling, just so it’s a bit easier to read.
RoseRed~Sen~
Personality- Submissive and stubborn are conflicting personality traits, so you might want to fix that.
History/Life- I can see her family being annoyed at her and punishing her for not doing chores, but if they love her then they wouldn’t have scorned her.
The thing is, I can’t really see why a Fire Nation admiral would care all too much about some kid, even if she was bending. Also, I get the impression that class is important to the Fire Nation, and your character would be low class due to the fact that her family could barely support her. Admirals, on the other hand, are pretty up there and would look down on your character.
*giggles* The “simple peasant girl molded into a perfect fighter” reminds me of Pygmalion (or My Fair Lady, whatever). Tell me, was there a bet involved? >D
… Actually, I kind of like that idea for a fanfic o.o
RadiantBeam~Ming~
From what you’ve given me here, I see no major problems.
~Chiko~
Wow, you mean he’s not even the slightest bit jealous that his sister can earthbend and he can’t?
Arya~Balin/Lin~
Pretty big coincidence that her friend has almost the same name o.O
History/About- How was her brother abusive? I
hope that it was just the normal teasing that comes with having a sibling.
Do you mean her eyes are light grey to brown? Because if you do, please understand that Aang and Ty Lee are the only characters who have been shown having grey eyes.
Did Lin love her parents? Even if they weren’t there all the time, they still raised her; it would be difficult to leave everything you have ever known.
What does a prisoner’s revolt have to do with her escaping? I mean, there wasn’t a prison near her home or school, was there? And I doubt harming an Earth Kingdom boy is part of the curriculum at the Fire Nation Academy for Girls >.>
The prisoners… got away with her help? Okay. Well, I don’t even know what kind of prisoners these are, but I can’t see a young girl as being very helpful in an escape.
I like how you have her traveling with other groups, considering her age and all. It’s very reasonable ^^
They’re a bit young to take on a mission that involved hurting many people (same goes for the two becoming Urn’s secret weapons). Why not have someone older and more reliable do it?
I think her background is full of coincidences. She gets involved in not one, but
two different groups that are both somehow connected in trying to find the Avatar. Also, I think that her early childhood would have left her feeling unsure of herself, which would make it pretty difficult for her to be going about on her own in the present.
zukosfire5Gah! It’s a mod o.o Um… I think I should be the one saying don’t kill
me, especially if I should happen to give a bad review. Ehehehe ^^;
~Fatuo Bao~
Personality- I have a thing against personalities like this >.> Humans are very social creatures, so someone would only act this way if something bad had happened in their past. And that’s all it would be – an act. No one is truly void of emotion… even Ozai appeared upset when his wife went away/died (I don’t know which).
History- Okay… wow, um… she had a tragic childhood, ne? Honestly, it seems a bit much. As for Jia, well, how can Bao
not have feelings for her? Sure, there may not have been outwardly affection, but that doesn’t change the fact that Jia took the girl in when she had no home and taught her how to firebend. Compared to what she had experienced earlier in her life, Jia was a kind person. And you’re saying she only thought of Jia as a teacher?
Does the Fire Nation army allow women to join? I think Azula is an exception, but I’m not sure (it’s purely opinion here). Finally, sixteen is rather young to be hunting down enemy benders, especially considering she had a bit of a late start in learning firebending.
~Chau~
Looks- Good, but you probably shouldn’t make references to other shows
Personality- It’s good, but I just want to point out that reference to the Fire Nation. Don’t assume that the citizens of the Fire Nation can’t be as nice and kind as the other nations, ‘cause you know what happens when you assume something >.>
History- Seems good.
concreteangel~Alexi~
The name isn’t Asian, so you might want to change it.
I doubt even a baby Avatar could create a spark, but then again, if written well, this can be very touching. Everything else seems fine.
silverdreams~Kiaris~
You should probably know how old your OC is ^^;
I take it that since she’s a bender, she must be from the Northern Water Tribe (as Katara was the last of the benders in the south).
Be careful with the prodigy-like bending. (Not to say you shouldn’t do it, just warning you that such skills should be handled delicately.)
Flaws- I’m going to repeat basically the same thing I said to zukosfire5, and point out that humans are very social creatures. That being the case, they would only act this way if something bad had happened in their past. And that’s all it would be – an act.
History- Why would her mother join the Fire Nation? During a war, people tend to be jingoistic, so her mother joining the enemy isn’t very logical.
Why wouldn’t Kiaris stay with her father? Especially if her sister is staying with him…
earthbenderimani~Imani~
A princess? I’ll be honest with you and say that it would be very difficult to not turn this character into a Sue.
Personality- So… someone who’s laid back is also fierce?
History- Ohshai sounds almost like Ozai ^^; And it Ba Seng Sei, not Bong sensei.
How did her father die? I highly doubt a king would fight as a soldier; kings fight to stop wars in other (less violent) ways.
Why didn’t Sanja like Imani? Also, I would think that Imzo would be the heir, as he is the only male in the family.
Ah, I see that she’s related to a canon character. I’m not too fond of that scenario, really >.> Well, at least she’s not Aang’s long-lost twin or something…
Why would her brother fight in the war? I have to repeat that I highly doubt a king would fight in a war.
Why would she allow Prince Zuko to take refuge in her city? He’s the enemy, for crying out loud! And when did Prince Zuko travel to Ba Seng Sei, anyway?
By “resitance” do you mean the resistance? If so, then what resistance?
[/huge-Equus asinus review]
*collapses*